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Reviews for I'm not alone

By : Kinumi
  • From ANON - Lacey Parker on December 07, 2003
    For a het fic, this was pretty good. Not a pairing I like, really, but it's well written and almost believable. I may even read the next chapter when you put it out.
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  • From ANON - jmr on December 06, 2003
    ah!! the cliffhangers. lol man this is great continue writing lol cuz u got the talent..i wanna know what happens next lol
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  • From ANON - trutenor on December 02, 2003
    A cliffhanger? Kuso! And it was just getting good too...you have to write more! I'm addicted like a drug addict! I need my fix of Naruto fanfiction! lol
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  • From ANON - breezbox on December 02, 2003
    Im so glad you decided to continue! Please please continue to update!
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  • From ANON - Shade Solanari on November 19, 2003
    That was a pretty good fic. I would be cool to see how this affects Naruto's life. And it doesn't seem like a bad idea to rub Hinata in
    Sakura's face. This fic doesn't have to be all sex (but i doubt anyone would mind). Whatever, this is good continue if you feel like
    it, if not i don't really care
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  • From ANON - McNinja on November 17, 2003
    I'm so goddamn sick and tired of seeiothiothing but shitty SasukexNaruto mansex fics, you automatically get points from me for writing something different. Death to Yaoi!
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  • From ANON - CrackYanker on November 16, 2003
    Amazing, I love it.
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  • From ANON - breezbox on November 14, 2003
    wow! That was both steamy and really really good. Don't read to many HET lemons so I'm glad that this one was so great. Please please PLEASE write more!
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  • From ANON - vixen on November 13, 2003
    sequel sequel
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  • From ANON - Hiame on November 13, 2003
    Hey, great lemon. Even if you kept me awake typing it. =_=
    Anyway, I would like to read others by you from the future (maybe with characters I actually know).

    Good job, glad you fixed the sentence structure and f. ^f. ^_~

    ~ Hiame
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  • From ANON - Icz on November 12, 2003
    It's nice to see some Naru/Hina fluff. Despite being a yaoi fan I do think these two would make an adorable couple

    However there is a problem with your dialouge.

    Whenever a new character talks you HAVE to start a new paragraph.

    Obeserve: "Well, what now?" Naruto asked, sticking his hands
    behind his head. "Whatever you want, Naruto-kun,"
    Hinata said, blushing. "Well, I'm kind of thirsty from
    all that ramen, wanna come to my place for some tea?"
    (A/N Yes, this is a poorly disguised excuse to get
    them both in bed. Bite me.) Hinata nodded, blushing
    again.

    This is how it should be:

    "Well, what now?" Naruto asked, sticking his hands
    behind his head.

    "Whatever you want, Naruto-kun,"
    Hinata said, blushing.

    "Well, I'm kind of thirsty from
    all that ramen, wanna come to my place for some tea?"
    Hinata nodded, blushing
    again.

    It flows a lot better that way.
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  • From ANON - trutenor on November 12, 2003
    First lemon? You're joking, right? That was one of the most beautiful lemons that I have ever had the joy of reading! First of all, you had a lemon with my favorite Naruto couple(there are enough SasuNaru fics as there is and not enough NaruHina)! Secondly, everyone stayed in character! Third, you did something which helps make lemons succeed. You kept in the innocence and emotion. Write more for these 2! They need it! I will join you in writing some NaruHina as well! Anyway, that's enough out of me, but keep up the good work!
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