Reviews for One Bored HousewifeBy : Smoke |
agree with sound of truth and drlove here great first chapter by the way. you should have naruto as one of the main guys kushina is with cause there isnt that many kushina/naruto incest stories out there. kushina should have legendary stamina that most people can't keep up with except another uzumaki (naruto). also kushina has been made to be mindbroken by a big dong in most stories so please don't go that way and have her love her family and will be angry and blueball someone who insults them. cause as the title saids she isn't looking for a new lover she is just bored and horny. and agreed that kiba should be more clumsy and more like a horndog. also if you do start losing interest in this try to keep it fresh by adding a side chapter or something along those lines by writhing a chapter about a different milf of konoha such as mikoto, tsume, kurenai, or hinata mother, it doesnt even have to be a milf just another "housewife" like sakura, hinata, ino, or someone else who is married but doesnt have kids. so other than that (sorry if it seems like ranting) it is still a very good story that was hot and making me looking forward next chapter so don't worry about any negective comments or backlash you get and hopefully next chapter comes soon
You could also creat a oc shouta uzumaki who is timid but can kesp up with her seeing as the war is over you could say he was made by karin or something and found so kushina finds him and takes him in and things start getting up from there especially seeing as he is a uzumaki with their stamina and size below the belt just a idea but keep writing font get discouraged and dont abond look foward t the updates
While the premise has essentially been done before, more writers don't get very far with. Also, it doesn't change the fact that your story is interesting and well written in terms of grammar and overall flow and pacing., unlike most others. The only request I would have is for one of her partners to be the Raikage. It was a great first chapter and I look forward to reading more.
Also, don't get discouraged by any negativity you receive by writing this. For some reason Kushina specifically triggers a lot of readers when they could have easily just ignored it and read something more to their preferences.
I agree with the shouta thing i prefer a timid character but a beast in bed and not to break kushina have naruto be the only one who can keep up with her seeing as he is a uzumaki and make him the biggest in size and please dont abandon
Very good chapter friend.
I hope update soon.
I have seen some comments and I have to agree on some points.
in this case kushina x gennin or konohamaru.
in my opinion you can use:
kushina x darui or A (raikage), as a way to welcome konoha.
kushina x killer bee or iruka, thanks for training naruto.
and of the companions of naruto it would be kiba and chouji (for their baika no jutsu).
I only recommend raikage because it is not hinata.
I don't mind that raikage x hinata ntr, but it has gotten very boring.
I think it would be better with kushina or tsunade, in my opinion.
Well that's all I had to say, I hope to see an update to the story soon.
don't let bad comments put you off.
lucky friend and please don't leave the fic.
Looks promising.
Hope you update soon
You need to write more chapters of this story...I'm interested in reading more
Agree completely with Sound of Truth and DrLove
Sorry to say but I'm kind of in the same boat as the Sound of Truth here. I'm not going to go on about it quite as much as he did because he seriously hit most of the points worth mentioning, but if you'd like to prove him/me/us/the parts of the fandom that would love some fresh content?
Next chapter? Kushina outfucks Kiba. She doesn't turn into this dopey retard moaning about cock, how great Kiba is, how she's his personal slut-toy, but takes the lead and fucks the shit out of Kiba. She enjoys it, but Kiba either can't keep up with her/isn't the sex god most authors usually have him as/some comment aimed towards her family actually sets her off for once (instead of hearing how her husband/son is a loser who should kill himself, agree and ask for more dick) and Kiba's left in the cold/gets a garbage reputation thanks to Kushina.
After that? Fuck shota. Fuck twelve year old boys hung like porn stars. If you're going to go that route, keep it restricted to a striptease where the younger parties watching just jack off. It still paints Kushina as a huge slut, but avoids the usual pedophilia/little boy cock is best that ruin other stories. Kushina views it as equal parts a job to do/enjoyable to brutally tease the underage.
Use Rock Lee and Choji. Both are criminally ignored but present great possibilities. EvilFuzzy wrote a story called "Between a Rock and a Hard Place" that goes to show that Lee could be a beastly fuck, a deleted story by LegoToTheMoon (profile deleted as well) called "Naruto's Sex Stories!" featured Lee treating fucking as just another exercise while Ino was busy cumming on his cock and the same could work for Kushina. She fucks Lee, Lee absolutely blows her mind. And Choji can literally alter the size of his dick. He can be more than just a fat dude. He could be a genuinely good fuck that realizes how lucky he is.
Sasuke, in a rare showing, could get as far as a mind-blowing blowjob before guilt gets the better of him and he GTFO's back to Sakura, feeling guilty and leaving Kushina with a mouthful of cum and needs very much unattended.
If Neji's still alive, he could perhaps fill the role of a more antagonistic fuck with lots of mentions of his clan, nobility, what a whore Kushina is; basically this kind of stories bread and butter. But maybe make mention of Kushina humbling him in spars to offset the usual indifference towards the verbal abuse.
A Jiraiya chapter could be Kushina and another woman/other woman in a moresome and while Kushina enjoys the experience of female hands on her body, Jiraiya does not deliver. He has a great time, but Kushina's partner gets a small orgasm while Kushina doesn't at all. Maybe it leads to Kushina and the third/or more party 69'ing and Kushina enjoying a woman's touch while noting Jiraiya's a selfish lover.
If Sarutobi's around you could have him be a great fuck, one that leaves Kushina ahegaoing but she makes note he's a huge chauvinist pig. She doesn't like it, but tries to put up with it for how awesome a fuck the old man is. Maybe emphasis on Sarutobi's cock because Kushina's shallow and isn't attracted to old men.
Like Sound of Truth pointed out, use Naruto too. For all that "there are enough of those stories out already", there really fucking aren't. It's been since like 2015 that there's been anything like that on a regular basis and even saying 2015 is a bit of a stretch. It's been long enough to have the occasional incest story. It'd be the ultimate testament to Kushina's sluttiness, especially if she gets into it and Naruto like Sarutobi, Neji, Lee, Choji, (and other lesser used male characters like:) Asuma, Ibiki, Hana, Shikaku Nara, Gaara, Shino, Kankuro (you see where I'm going with this), becomes a regular fuck.
Just try and be more creative. Otherwise I just wouldn't bother. We might be anon's but considering the only reason to actually create an account on this site is to actually post stories (with no options of favoriting, following stories you do like), that shouldn't mean jack shit.
Hopefully if you post again the future of this fic will look a bit brighter than the sadly generic mess it is now.
I will eagerly await the next update for this story because your first chapter was pretty hot even if there was no sexing scene, can't wait to see Kushina unleash her wild side but it seemed she is pretty used to living on edge. You apparently got a more mature Kushina down very well in your story,
You asked for requests or suggestions...So here are mine; Any guys who are not Sasuke, Naruto, Jiraiya, and Minato, there are enough of those stories out already, but i am out here reading your story instead.
Please don't do hung dongs, because then it becomes not grounded and almost funny. and please no mind break, but maybe lost to the lust is what you are after. Please don't listen to our buddy anon here.
I hope Naruto sleeps with kushina
Another "Kushina is a slut" fanfic, huh? Very generic. As a Naruto fan it's so fucking frustrating how bad, cliche and unoriginal Naruto smut has become these last few years. Seriously, I read this and I feel like this is the hundredth time I see this same fanfic because it's always the same shitty idea executed in the laziest way possible. Here are some examples of authors/fanfics that have tried to do the same thing you are trying to do now:
1) http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600106616
2) http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600106417
3) http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600106530
4) http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600106564
5) http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600106507
6) http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600106446
7) http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600106445
Give them a read and you'll see they are all the same. They all feature Kushina as the generic hentai mom with no personality beyond being a cock addict willing to throw her life away because "minato bad in bed, other men good lulz". Why do I keep calling this stuff generic? Because it is. Do a little experiment: replace the name Kushina in these stories I just linked you and the one you just posted with the name from another female character from Naruto or any other fandom and you'll see how little the story changes. That's a prime example of the terrible job you and other uninspired writers are doing when it comes to capturing the essence/personality of your main character. No wonder all the stories I mentioned always remain unfinished/incomplete, I too would lose inspiration upon finding out I can only write female characters as just walking sets of holes waiting to be filled with dick.
Also, it's so funny how the world of Naruto is filled with MILFy/mature characters like Mikoto Uchiha, Tsume Inuzuka, Mebuki Haruno, Yoshino Nara, Kurenai Yuhi, etc that are frankly underused when it comes to the smut side of the fandom but somehow all authors have the same brilliant idea to only use Kushina, as if Naruto's mom was the only MILF character on the series. Sometimes I like to think there's someone out there comissioning the same old story over and over again to you guys because I don't really want to believe the Naruto fandom has reached a stagnant point where Kushina as a slut is the only story worth telling. But sadly, reality ensues and I've come to realize that there's no one behind the scenes pulling the strings and that Naruto smut is just trash now, a cesspool where authors face each other every day to see who can post the most mediocre work for a handful of comments. Congratulations on making the list.
TL,DR; Very generic. Sorry, no offense, but I don't think you are skilled enough to make this premise work. I'm willing to bet anything you'll get bored/lose inspiration real soon and left this unfinished/incomplete. But hey, if you really want requests/suggestions before you drop this work then I suggest Naruto as one of Kushina's lovers because the incest angle is something that is always overlooked in these "slutty Kushina' fics which is a shame since there's nothing more forbidden, hotter and deliciously fucked up than a woman so deep in her own lust she's willing to fuck her own flesh and blood.
P.D. lmao the anon reviewers asking for Kushina to have sex with some OC genin prove my point about how boring/uninspired the smut fandom has become. The only plot more overused than 'slutty Kushina" is the "Kushina gets her own genin apprentice/team". But honestly, I can't blame them. They have become so used to mediocre fics than now mediocre ideas it's all they can think about.
Kushina with some hung Genin that look up to her husband
Can’t wait tell the next chapter.
I really like it so far, build up always makes stories better.
The only criticism I have is that Kiba is too smooth and mature, he should be more clumsy and horny when speaking to Kushina.
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