Reviews for The DealBy : BigE2955 |
Really like where you went with the story, glad Ino found out about the whole thing. I'd like to see more Sai humiliation or just more of his involvement, but I'm not sure where you want to go with the story, it's up to you. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Also hope you write more stories involving Ino and cuckolding, cause there are not enough of those.
Thank you and good luck, BigE2955
yes this is so damn good update narutos fetish nxt plz both of them
As always, spectacular!
Huh, it should be interesting to see how long this type of deal remains as intended. Nice job on the chapter.
I am in love with your story it's hot and sexy. But I would like to ask something could you give Naruto a chance to bang her like as a way for Sasuke to convince that both of them should bang her. Maybe break her in the process by the two best friends that would be really hot. Nevertheless your story is great hope Imo become a more of a slut and add Naruto soon
For this chapter I don't really disagree with what Sasuke was going for, but it just didn't feel like payback. I would have suggested that during the sex and upon giving the facial he was inwardly fuming and degrading her in his mind. It would better convey anger and give the scene more of a revenge feel. The act is here, but not the emotions that should come with it.
This reminds me strongly of Naruto's Fetish. Of course, that's a given considering it's going to be a cuckfest. But I can't help but wonder about Sai - is it really going to have the same impact considering he's basically borderline autistic? I suppose you could have him just wake up and realize he's getting cucked and then dislike. I suspect that is actually what will happen.
I would suggest going down a different road with it though. Naruto's Fetish is all about consent, and in the end whatever happened Naruto was a partner in it. He could have told Sasuke to stop, but he liked it too much. I'd like it if here Sai wants them to stop but Ino isn't willing to. A true wife theft, rather than a consenting submission.
Since this is another new story, I wanted to give it a little skim. Anyways, thing is... isn't this pretty much a carbon copy of Naruto's Fetish, only now we have an asexual Sai letting his wife Ino be Sasuke's bitch?
I dunno, it just feels recycled, though least now we have it where Ino thinks its Sai when it's really Sasuke fucking her, so there's no feeling of guilt in her and she's happy as can be, that's for sure. But situations like these can slowly begin to show Sasuke NTR'ing Ino as well. In which case, it would pretty much be the same as Naruto's Fetish.
I recommend doing some unique twists. Like maybe apart from that, show that Sai is slowly rising to his sexual side, and he does and thus comes clean, and Ino still loves him and avoids the NTR flag. I mean, unless we're to erase Inojin's existence.
You probably already have an idea on what to do, so I guess we'll wait and see.
So, I guess Sasuke stories can't exsist in the Naruto section. It all has to be about one blonde idiot that has hordes of fanboys drooling for his dick. As most fan's of this fandom know, 90% of stories in this section consist of Naruto himself. Why is it that Naruto fanboy's feel so threatened when one or two stories show up with Sasuke as the lead? Is all the Naruto stories in this section so shit, that you all feel the need to have other fans write about him?
LOL.
You all need to get with times and realize that not everyone worships the ground he walks upon like you all do. We all have characters we perfer, and even if they made some bad decisions in the series, we still have the right to like whoever we like. I can go on a triad on how Naruto (the character) is the worst thing to happen to shonen manga, but that isn't what this review section is for.
So if you want some blonde dick sucking, look elsewhere idiots.
Now for the story. I don't really have much to say. The writing in and of itself isn't bad, though I don't care for NTR stories. It'd also be nice if Sasuke's penis wasn't a tree branch. It could be big, just not outrageously so. It makes it seem more like a comedy fic.
I'm not on his dick Anon. I'm just tired of assholes like you ranting and raving about a fic because it isn't your style. Its a fanfic! If you don't like the idea from the summary don't read it. There is no law thar saus the must read every fanfic.
This is pretty much the exact same fic as naruto's fetish that's pretty lazy and meta get off the authors dick
Gets four to five negative reviews. Insinuates every negative review comes from three distinctive people. Classy guy, this BigE.
Funny, too. You talk about "your typical, Badass!Awesome!Godlike!OOC! Naruto stories" like they're all that different from your own stories. The only difference is the man in question in your stories is Sasuke, that the genre is NTR/cheating/humiliation/SPH (NTR!? In 2017!? How unique and totally original!), the only character capable of pleasuring women is (75% of the time) Sasuke and his foot long dick (because who doesn't love cock and shitty hentai clichés) and that the women of Konoha (or the Elemental Nations in general) only want Sasuke's cock.
A change in character and genre doesn't suddenly make this garbage any better than something like A Lewd New World or anything written by VFSnake. Especially when stylistically, there's almost no difference in the way you write, from the generic and boring adjectives right down to the surety that all will bow before your typical, badass, awesome, godlike, OOC Sasuke.
I mean, at the mo' all we have is confirmation that Sasuke has had sex. Once. And that otherwise, he's just a deadbeat with self-imposed homelessness and an innate desire to try and fuck his daughter up as much as Itachi did him, way back in the day.
Hmm you really like having Sasuke as the main guy getting all girls don't you? I don't mind, in fact I prefer it over the yaoi stories of NaruSasu. But by now you got like 5, 7 of them write?
I think you should branch out a bit. Like having one of the girls lose a bet and now have to perform sexual favors to another.
Or one shots of the kunoichi having sexual encounters with other villages ninja.
Or a NarukoxHinata story in which one of them get NTR.
@Papillion and Y'all Mother Fuckers Need Jesus
First off the author isn't gay for Sasuke. Sasuke just fits the role for plots like this better then most. Second why do you assume Sasuke has a tiny dick? That is never brough up in cannon nor is your idea that Naruto is some sex god in bed. People have different tastes and it honestly annoys me how people who dislike something shit on it because its not their favorite and this is more at Y'all Mother Fuckers Need Jesus then you Papillion. Atleast you admit you are only here for comments. But as for you Y'all Mother Fuckers Need Jesus stop acting like you are the final say in what people can write. It's called a FANFIC! That means non-cannon. It doesn't hurt the show in any way. Hell My Little Pony fans are more tollerant of opinions then you. So get off your high horse and act like a reasonable person.
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