Reviews for The Lone TravelerBy : BigE2955 |
Dis intro. Anyway, not sure if I've mentioned these points before but this chapter raised a few questions in my mind.
First is namely Erza's characterization. I would recommend that all of the crossover girls (Erza, Rias, and Robin) be much less broken than they were in the original. I know we talked about scales from true love to cockslut, and I believe they all should be pretty highly rated when it comes to emotional intimacy over the purely sexual intimacy. My reasoning is that when Sasuke goes to their various universes these girls are going to have to be Sasuke's guides. Which means they need to be able to function pretty rationally at most times in order to habiliate him there. Not to mention that they would need to be able to handle Sasuke's instinct to harem build, channeling him at girls that seem appropriate and at least warning him away from girls that are not. After all Sasuke doesn't know anything about these worlds or their power. Sona Sitri might be nice to look at, but going after her would complicate shit immensely, and Rias would need her wits about her to channel Sasuke at safer options like the girls in her peerage.
Secondly is the degree of cum sluttiness itself. In the original it ranged from "it's fun but not consuming" in Robin's case to "completely and totally mindbroken and only able to think of cum" in Erza's case. You actually had to retconn her as less broken just to be able to have the plot here. I also don't really agree with the second in general. I would like to see sex translate to intimacy to some degree for the various girls, and they for lack of a better description do become addicted to Sasuke and the feelings he gives them. But even a 'cumslut' like you plan Ino to be should be mentally stable and able to function in society. Any breaking should be almost Stockholm Syndrome-esque rather than hentai. Instead of just having their brains killed they could be conditioned by their own bodies into affection and love. And perhaps the wife rankings should be less about love per se and more about compatability. Naruko and Sasuke truly love each other, because they share interests and their affection would naturally develop, whereas Sasuke and Tsunade 'love' each other but those feelings are the conditioned result of sex rather than natural compatability.
Thirdly, seeing Kakashi puttering about made me wonder about the reactions of various bystanders and side characters. I mean, Sasuke builds this enormous harem of women all across the continent. Even if he keeps some of his wives a secret, there's enough of them that it's a believable cause of friction. I would expect Sasuke to start clashing with the father/brother/son of the women he's collecting, and at the least neutral parties like Kakashi or Orochimaru forming their own opinions on the matter.
updates plz?
I really am enjoying the series plz keep at it!!!
I loved lone wanderer and i cant stop reading your work :)
I'm surprised you ending off OP's world after only including Nami.
Hmph, nice job with ending this arc. Hell, that crew is in for a shock if Robin's plan works. Keep doing what you do and enjoy yourself.
i liked this chapter but update narutos fetish please
Nice sequel for lone wanderer. I wonder, though, if Sasuke wanted to break Nami, shouldn't his slow pace be better suited for it?
Would like to see more chakra application in sex - with lightnings, electricity and illusions that increase sensetivity and such.
P.S. Would you update on other sites?
Great chapter as always bro. Really hoping to see Boa Hancock make an appearance at some point in the One Piece arc. Hope you update soon bro.
Can he have not common girls like monet or shalulia since that is hardly done and since he is in one piece now.
Nice job Nami went down like I expected but it ended up being more intense than I expected but kind of disappointed that we didn't get a clue on the next girl still though nice work.
Good update. I was a bit worried that Sasuke would get bretty ruff based on the discussions we had about him getting all pissed off, but this was ideal. Him being irritated but still confident and in control.
Awesome work on this chapter. Keep it up.
I'm not normally a huge fan of One Piece, though the women are hot. But I can believe nami trying to figure out if someone is controlling her friend. Not the method, but the motivation. So thanks.
I definitely now want to see a titfuck done by Nami. Also loved the tidbit of Information that Hinata knows best how to squeeze a load out with those big alabaster tits of hers. I am sure it looks as good as Sasuke says. Sure as hell would be interesting in seeing Hinata do her thing.
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