Reviews for The Lone TravelerBy : BigE2955 |
You kinda made the straw hats look like bitches that ruined the story for me
Are you alive bro? I hope so cause I been waiting for when Sasuke goes to dxd man!!! Where you at?!
It's really awesome dude., It's became my top favourite sasuke story.,
Great job man! The stories are so hot, will Mirajane or Cana return?
I really enjoyed the Mirajane part of this the first few times I read through it, but in hindsight I'm less sure. Like I said, I don't really enjoy the whole half-finished feel that it leaves when a girl isn't properly conquered and wifed. I realize Sasuke obviously in the original could come back and at that point it might have tied up the Mirajane knot so it was bearable, but in the Remaster there won't be that back and forth crossing because the story structure will be different.
I think Lucy is still the dark horse superstar of the entire arc. I mean, you did make her a complete anal whore. But that's okay. You're spreading out the fetishes a bit and it helps to differentiate the various girls. I'd actually like to see this happen more often in both the Wanderer and Traveler Remasters. I mean, you even get girls like Akeno who are canonically switch sadist/masochists, so you definitely have some room to play with sexual fetishes.
I mean, why haven't we see a girl that is an exhibitionist (even if Sasuke is so jealous he'd rather weave a genjutsu so no one sees them fucking in public)? Lucy here is the anal whore, but where's pet play girl? What about someone that has an honest to god rape fetish? Or a girl that gets off on being cucked? The Chidori basically lends itself to electrostimulation. Not to mention the holy duo of breeding and pregnancy fetishism.
I'll reiterate I'm still not crazy about this Juvia angle.
For one it triggers me in an OCD kind of way. I dislike the thought of leaving girls half-conquered like that. I feel if you're going to go part of the way you might as well go all the way, or it feels like an aborted orgasm and I'm sitting here half-flacid.
Secondly, I dislike NTR in general of characters I like, I think Grey is not that bad of a guy. So I don't like to see Sasuke basically cumragging Juvia a little bit just to make him jealous.
Not to Sasuke is himself a carnivore, so you'd think that he'd be enough of a greedy sex addict to say "fuck it, you missed you're chance, Juvia is mine now" even if he netted her under dubious circumstances.
I imagine this one will be a little shorter.
In regards to this master thing - I'm thinking that in the Remaster you should do away with this entirely, or confine it to the girls who it would be lore appropriate for. Erza calling Sasuke 'master' is a bit cringy because it's just there to signify cock-sluttiness. It's the kind of thing you'd see in a hentai rather than in a top tier smut fic with well-developed characterization. Of the original girls right off the top of my head I can only really see Haku using it, and then as a title like 'Master Zabuza" rather than signifying actual ownership in the way it conveys ownership here.
Erza probably shouldn't really use it, since canonically I think the only time she uses master is "Master Makarov" as the leader of the guild, and Sasuke is her husband rather than a guild master. Beyond that and going forward though, I think the most appropriate girl for it to be used in the sense of 'ownership' would be for One Piece's Boa Hancock, if she gets harem'd in the OP arc. And namely for the reason that it's lore relevant. Boa spent her childhood as a slave and thus calling Sasuke that would signify character development on her part. Namely, that the moment she willingly calls him her master would be proof of her complete and utter surrender of herself to him.
The other thing that tickled my mind was Jellal. He wasn't really around in this one, but if you decide to Remaster this fic as well I would see him occupying a sort of Issei place in wanting to win Erza back. Maybe he'd be less enthusiastic about it because of his personal need for redemption, but at the very least there would be some measure of conflict.
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