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Reviews for Loveless

By : BigE2955
  • From Remy_Maxwell on June 04, 2017

    As opposed to any fans out there who might say otherwise, I think this fic holds out quite well as a oneshot. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love the Fem Sasuke/Naruto pairing here and wouldn't mind seeing such a pairing used again. I say keep it a oneshot out of pity to Hinata fans and thus if you use another Naru/FemSas make a different story entirely devoted to them, using the Kyuubi however you want and whatever.


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  • From pitbull4567 on June 03, 2017

    Interesting story


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  • From Venoms160 on June 03, 2017

    BRAVO!

    (Sorry, this might be a bit wordy)

    I Honestly think this is your best work yet. Porn, smut and depravation aside I felt that your writing on a whole was better. While I've already admitted I enjoy depravation and I might have indicated I dislike humiliation (idm when it's behind their backs, and the partner leaves when they find out haha) but I'll admit I have a soft spot to stuff like this. In my opinion if you work your way around the heart break element and have hinata settle with Kiba, or become jealous to do better. I enjoy it! 

    There's sex about power, there's sex about passion and there's sex about love. All three are equally enjoyable flavours! In this one, Satsuki and Naruto seem to be equals and passionate with each other, and possibly in love.

    Maybe think about adding a power struggle element. With Naruto and Satsuki or Naruko and Sasuke (Maybe even both, make them fluid with both their male and female forms) who go around having sex with OTHER people to prove who the best is and yet have the BEST sex of their lives with each other but refuse to admit it. Maybe Naruko/Naruto makes Karin and Orochimaru addicted to her while Sasuke/Satsuki goes after Irkua and Tsunade. 

     

    It'll be interesting to see you try your hand at a female dominating a male character. Maybe reduce the "Size" element a bit (I think as shenobi, there should be some jutsu to get past that) and maybe insert some raw passion, technique and natural aptitude at sex. Something Primal in those two that leaves people coming back. 

    Overall, I'd say you're starting to transcend the "mindless smut" part where the plot goes "Man has big cock" "Man beat pussy with cock" "Pussy addicted to cock" and so it goes. Not saying I don't enjoy that as much as the next guy, but I feel you have potential for something greater here. Maybe try exploring it? 

    Once again! I felt a dramatic improvement in writing for this one and even felt it in some of your latest chapters for other stories. You're doing very good! Maybe even consider trying your hand at a some other habdoms like Harry Potter or Bleach? 


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  • From Naruto-Gremory on June 03, 2017

    Wonderful chapter


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  • From codywelch17 on June 03, 2017

    that was a great first chapter. congradulations on writing the first cuckquean fanfiction. cant wait for more of this or your other 3 stories


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