Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Village

By : alexfrost5556

From Lucius-Walker on January 22, 2021
Hmm, pretty decent and quick backstory, before jumping right into the excitement. It wasn't too long either, but it wasn't too short. Pretty nice.
The writing style could use some work, though, and I don't think it was a good idea to directly tell the readers about Sasuke's thoughts. If anything, you should've made it more subtle via Naruto's observations and his clueless interpretations or whatever.
Overall, 7/10.
Happy Writing!

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From ANON - Anon on July 30, 2016
Please continue!

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From agitofang666 on June 01, 2016
Do you think you will update sooner
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From ANON - Dip on February 01, 2016
Or have naruto fuck mikoto to get back at sasuke. Or naruto fucks both of them and kicks sasukes as in front of them. Pleas update
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From ANON - Dip on February 01, 2016
Please have naruto find out about what his mom has been doing and in rage he confronts kushina and shows her what she could of had. Ps if you can have naruto and sasuje share her. Please update.
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From ANON - Tenjou on January 29, 2016
I wonder if this is going to be continued?
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From AFFModerator on January 24, 2016
Please correct your disclaimer.

Your disclaimer doesn't have all the parts we need to see. It can be worded however you like, as long as you include the name of the specific fandom (and not just the characters) and clearly say that you make no money/profit.

You must use the actual name of the fandom. Just naming the owners/creators of the fandom, or saying that you don't own only the characters is not enough. It's also not enough to say that this is just for fun or entertainment. You have to clearly say that you make no money/profit.

What happens if the disclaimer isn't fixed? We allow seven (7) days for the story to be corrected. After that, we hide it, and it will stay hidden until it's corrected or until it's been thirty (30) days since we hid it. At that point, we do delete the story. If we do hide your story, you can always access it through your Control Panel in your archive profile even while it's hidden. If we do hide your story, and you've fixed it, you can contact the ToS team with the name of your story, your username and the fandom where the story is located to have your story made visible again. You can contact us by email at TOS_team@adult-fanfiction.org. Just one thing: Re-uploads of hidden stories are deleted immediately with no additional warning given.

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From ANON - sasukeLikesBigBlackDicks on January 22, 2016
i dont understand, kushina must be a man if he is with sasuke, we all know is gay.
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From ANON - JuanderBOI on January 22, 2016
So i've read your story and i have to say your grammar is less than accepable. Now i wouldn't have wrote this review in the first place, but i was bored. So, i copy&pasted your story onto my phone and tried to correct as much as possible. The result was this:

***

Naruto was a very good child. He loved his mother. He always listened to her, helped her. After his father left them, he had to be the man in her life. Naruto's father left them when he was 10 years old. Now Naruto is 15. He was blond hair with bright blue eyes, medium height, his cheeks had whiskers, three on each cheek. He was cheerful and sociable.

His mother Kushina Uzumaki was a very beautiful woman. She had red hair, a perfect face, slim figure, large, perky breasts, tight ass and long, smooth legs.
After the divorce, they moved to Uzushio, the village where his mother was born. Naruto is happy. He hadn't had many friends, but more than enough enemies. Uchiha Sasuke was one of them. He is the same age as Naruto. He has shoulder-length black hair, black eyes and is almost always serious. He always gets what he wants. He and Naruto never got along. One day he realized he wanted Naruto's mother. He wants Kushina. In his 15 he is no longer a virgin. Losing his virginity at a small age is common among hidden villages. He had heard that Kushina was once an excellent teacher at the english language and decided to persuade her to take him as an apprentice. After some persuasion she agreed, even though she did not need the money. Naruto certainly did not like it. He tried to dissuade her from accepting Sasuke's proposal, but she did not relent.

Later, Naruto began to notice, that his mother started to act strange. She came home late, almost midnight. Naruto started to worry and asked her if she was alright, but all she did was nod. One day Naruto returned from school. As he passed some high bushes, he heard a noises coming from them. He looked behind the bushes and saw his mother. She sat on the ground. Her face was covered in sweat, breathing heavily.

"Mom?" Was Naruto's intelligent reply.

"Naru-chan *pant* why are you not in school right now?" Kushina asked in shock and surprise.

"I pranked Iruka-sensei. He, in retaliation, send me home. Um, mom... what are you doing here? Are you alright?"

"I'm *pant* fine. I just dropped my wallet and am trying to find it." She said, almost moaning in pleasure.

The cause of her immense pleasure lies beneath her. Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto's rival, was lying on the ground with Kushina sitting impaled on his cock. She had her back to Sasuke with her legs spread wide.

'I can't believe I'm doing this with the classmate of my son... right in front of him." She thought. She suddenly felt Sasuke's hands on her ass as he started to fuck her even deeper.

Sasuke was ecstatic as well. He fucked Kushina right in front of her own son. He loved the way her pussy squeezed his dick.

"Is everything fine?" Naruto asked his mother. 'Something isn't right here." He thought.

"As i've already said *pant* everthing's fine." assured his mother.

"Alright... see you later, mom."- Naruto said. Then he turned around and was about to leave, until...

"Naruto!" Kushina yelled. Naruto turned around and looked at her.

She was at the peak of excitement. Her nipples were as hard as a diamond, her pussy began to moisten even more. For the first time in so long she felt like a real woman. Sasuke's member drove her crazy. Since their first time having sex she could not stop thinking of him. She did everything Sasuke said. She began to turn into his sex slave.

'What am I doing?' She asked herself. 'Right in front of my son!' She thought, while Sasuke's member continued to slide in and out of her drenched cunt. Shortly after, a massive wave of pleasure hit them both. She and Sasuke came at the same time. She barely restrained her scream barely restrained her scream, when his hot cum began to fill her womb. 'Look at me, Naru-chan. Look at your slutty mother getting filled with your rivals wonderful seed.'

"Sochi. Be a dear and go buy some tea." She said a little breathless. She wanted to continue, because Sasuke's dick still stood proudly inside her.

"Sure." Naruto answered with a smile.

Kushina leaned back and rested her hands on the ground to keep from falling. Naruto, having nothing else to say, turned around and left.

'Sochi. If only you knew, what i and your rival have done. He fucked me, made me his slut. I love Sasuke with all of my beeing.'

Although her first orgasm just ended, the second was already approaching dangerously fast.

"I am yours, Sasuke. Do whatever you want with me. Fuck me, rape me, impregnate me. I don't care! All i want is your magnificent cock." She quietly moaned, so that only Sasuke could hear her.

Sasuke smiled triumphantly as he heard her words. He squeezed her ass even harder.

"I'm gonna cum!" She cried, still furiously riding the Uchiha. Sasuke took one of her breasts and squeezed them, pushing her over the edge. Kushina arched her back. Her body was shaking, sweat pouring down her body. Her blouse, soaked from all the sweat, clung to her body, her hard nipples clearly visible.

At this point Kushina didn't care if Naruto saw her in the act. She already made choice. She was a fuck toy, slut, cum dumpster and much more. Her loyalty only belonged to one person. Sasuke Uchiha.

***

Now i don't care if you want to somehow use this version or just ignore it all together. I only thought maybe this helps your writing skills. Be aware though, that i am not a native english speaker, so i may or may not have made a couple of mistakes.

Bye.

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From alexfrost5556 on January 21, 2016
I agree with you on this question. but many people write about Naruto and his harem. it is frankly boring. I want to change.
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From ANON - =_=; on January 21, 2016
@Anon; XD I suppose you're right. At least with the other doujin-NTR-nockoffs they have decent grammr and spelling. This nockoff is just painfully bad in all aspects.
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From ANON - guest1405 on January 20, 2016
Great story man, I like the concept of it, I would like to read more of it. My only opinion I like to add to this if you write the next chapter can it maybe be where there in the house instead I think that would be an interesting scene.
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From jj on January 20, 2016
i cant wait to see the next chapter
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From ANON - CedarP on January 20, 2016
I'm sorry if this sounds rude but can you get a beta reader or something please? It looks like a good story but the grammar, weird sentences and poor spelling make it hard to enjoy.

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From ANON - No, just no on January 20, 2016
author probably has some serious issues with naruto or sasuke or both of them
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