I was reading this chapter and i had a thought. How is it that you can have Naruto state that he loves his various women when he just continuously treats them like disposible tissues? Contempt like that is the opposite of affection.

I'm just not sure why. What's the actual point of this? I mean I guess you enjoy the Sasuke-bashing, but you've already done this chapter before. It's literally just you taking a second go around of the exact same scenario for the sake of what - bashing Sasuke while turning Naruto into a lowrent version of him and then thinking that it makes Naruto particularly complex or deep?

Listen to me. There are good ways and bad ways to write netorare/cuckoldry. The good way generally preserves the characterization of the various individuals involved and develops it properly. The bad way is conjuring up ridiculous situations while you make constant references to alphas and giving every single woman in the universe the singular trait of being an easily broken slut.

I could take a steaming shit on the floor and it would be a better smutfic than this.

I honestly think this chapter is the most hilarious of the entire fic. I mean don't get me wrong there are a lot of goofy plots that you've done so far but this one takes the cake.

In a smut fic I can take bare bones porn with little plot. I can take unrealistic characterization. But there are lines that once crossed transform the fic from 'cheap but guiltily enjoyed porn' to 'an epic clusterfuck of satire proportions',

Just... why? What was going through your head when you sat back and said "Hmnmm, what should this chapter be about? I know, Naruto decides to defeat the entire Hyuuga clan and simultaneously claim some fifty odd women as his personal cum dumps!" Like THAT is edge brother.

I know this first chapter is a relic from nearly three years ago, but I'm still going to judge it just as I would any other chapter. And it is a bad first chapter -- devoid of sense, good writing, or any sort of 'hook' that ought to be there for a story that is one of the most reviewed stories on AFF in recent memory.

The grammar is... passable. Not good, not decent, not adequate -- passable. It's to the point where I noticed numerous errors, and anyone with a tenth grade education would notice quite a few of them, but it's not horrific. That's something at least.

But what is this chapter?

It's so... bad.

It feels like the first scene of a much longer chapter, but it's the first chapter. This is all there is. Ino walking in on Naruto banging Anko -- omg, his cock is so big, me so horny, then she walks out and already considers NTRing her husband.

Anko is just so random in this too; it's kind of sad. I have no idea why she's here -- she's just thrown into the chapter, devoid of any dialogue, to be a pussy for Naruto to fuck. That's it. There's no clarification, no build up, not even a smidge of 'hotness'. It's not even good smut either -- she's just there, bouncing up and down on a cock. I'm sure that's good smut to some people, but for anyone with an actual sense of taste, you'll need a hell of a lot more than that.

The most amusing part to me is this whole thing you start where Naruto is 'uninterested' in sex, or basically just has sex with people while focusing on other stuff. Yes, oh my, he's so 'alpha' for that. It's also contradictory, since he abruptly shifts from being addicted to sex to being 'iuninterested' on the turn of a dime.

Not to mention how shitty Hinata is in this. Seriously -- Hinata allows this, does this, goes along with this? Licking Naruto's balls while he fucks Anko? That's pathetic. You need buildup to this kind of stuff, not just throwing it in our faces. Hinata is a demure, shy, conservative housewife. You can't just force her to be a slut from the first chapter because you're too much of a lazy cunt to develop her into what she is in this chapter.

And I haven't even started on how annoying, boring, and lackluster the 'Anko is a total sex crazed bitch' trope is. Then again, this fic is basically a collection of smut tropes, so whatever.

Even by NTR standards this is poor. What kind of NTR starts within five minutes of the first chapter? It doesn't -- good NTr is about the exact opposite of this. Even by dom/sub standards this is bad... as mentioned by the lack of any sort of buildup to this, not to mention Naruto acting horrendously out of character to the point where he's, ironically, basically a ripoff of Sasuke in this scenario. Which I find hilarious.

There's my review for the first chapter. Cheers!

" with a worn out, gaping cunt"

Lovely visual. Shall we we talk about her dragging beef curtains as well?

"Sometimes with an audible queef, other times quiet, this whore jettisons whatever melange of fluids are sloshing within her polygamous cavern. It's not unusual to spy spotty trails and blood tinged puddles wherever the posterior of the sexually liberated Hyuuga Hinata has rested."

WEW

Oh man, I just had a good laugh at this entire chapter. It's such top tier bad-doujin level that I can't even take it seriously. Was this meant to be a parody?

I mean I guess props that Naruto beats up Sasuke and then basically rapes Sakura into submission. Reminds me of that one classic where Naruto travels back in time, becomes Madara, and then proceeds to burn Fugaku in front of his wife and then fucks her right next to the burned corpse. Then he proceeds to fuck his own mother, turns his own father into a paraplegic and also fucks Tsunade and becomes best friend with Orochimaru.

Gonna move my reviews here.

From a roughly technical perspective this wasn't bad. There weren't any glaring grammar problems. A few spelling issues here and there but eh, it is what it is.

The problem is everything else.

"Yeah, a man like that needs enough whores to settle his appetite down. "

LMAO, what is this? It reads like a bad porno. Not only does it not make sense because Naruto seems to be totally disengaged from sex (therefore, WHAT APPETITE) but it's such a cringe level assertion.

Also why the constant references to sluts? Naruto sluttily slapped his slut's slutty ass and it gave a slutty clap. Mix it up lad.

Awesome chapter cant wait for more hopefully ino is not only one getting pregnant by naruto 

Always great to see you update!!! I’d love to see some new sakura chapters, but as always i’ll be glad no matter what’s girl you choose next. I also hope the lack of other new naruto stories on this site doesn’t discourage you. You still have a hell of a fan base and we’d hate to see you go :)

I agree with you.  Ino is probably the hottest Naruto girl.  And she just seems like she would be fun.  Hinata is too soft, Sakura is too hard, Temari is too fierce, Ino is the right balance of them all.

That and blonde.  Gotta love blonde.

And additionally. When I mentioned longer chapters I kind of meant that you should probably tie in some more plot with them. I mean the fact that you got this much plot in this fic is important. So I can only imagine how it would turn out if you stretched your legs a bit more.

Also once again I would advise you to relocate to Hentai Foundry. The community is a lot more active and you might even get to write some commisions.

Fantastic chapter once again. The slow downfall of Ino was absolutely wonderful to watch. It does feel nice to be able to see the complete process with at least one girl. Gives an idea of how he went ahead with the others. Only thing left is to know where she ranks on the harem totem pole. Close to the top with Hinata and Tsunade? Or somewhere near the bottom with Sakura and the Inuzaka women?

Regardless I am looking forward to the future of this fic. Samui and Kurenai all sound like promising additions. The downfall of Tsunade is still out there. And Sakura sequels could be a more emotional driven take on the Onsen chapters. Lots of material regardless.

BRO hooooooooooly fuck this was insanely hot. You finally delivered on my more pregnancy request and there’s only one better girl than Ino to do it. So fantastic choice and what a fucking great chapter.

Even though there was no smut, I still really enjoyed it! It would be great to see more development of naruto outside of his sex life, like dealing with politics etc. Just not too much that it distracts us from what we are really reading!

Another amazing chapter, thank you for your hard work!

It would honestly suck if you ended up abandoning this story since you're pretty much the only reason I even visit this site. I've really been enjoying this story but I will respect your decision if you do end up. In my opinion I think you should just update once in a while to keep you from getting burnt out. You don't have to update once a week or every other week as it probably gets tiring. Just take your time and give yourself some time to breathe. Other than that its ultimately up to you m8. Great chapter as always by the way.