This is going to my first review done for this site and it has come after looking at the argument going on. When it comes to my standards for smut, I only particularly care that spelling is decent, grammar is not distracting, and sentence structure is not too basic. Also, that the writing does not make me cringe when I read it. Example, I once read a story where a guy’s penis was called his spear of destiny. Terrible stuff. Now onto Kage Sexbomb. Structurally, the fic is fine. No glaring mechanical errors, especially in the post-Jamaica chapters. The sex scenes are hot and the descriptions are good.

Now onto the story itself, I’ll state what I have taken away for how the story works. This world is significantly different from the canon world, obviously or else the sex scenes wouldn’t happen. The world these shinobi seem to live in is one of debauchery where they are slaves to their own biology that forces them to act on their primal desires with no regard for decency or restraint. The men desire to dominate those around them and the females look to submit to the most dominant male in a twisted exaggeration of what people consider alpha. That’s how the story is framed, nothing too complex but it works. The story is told out of order and should probably best be looked at as vignettes framed around this world than one continuous story. Sniperjoe writes what he feels like writing so this works since it’s a fapfic. To me, if one were to extrapolate an overarching plot from story, I would consider it Naruto’s quest to dominate Tsunade and the consequences that came from pursuing and eventually achieving that goal. Tsunade is essentially the strongest woman in the world, so strong that no man could dominate her, and she essentially grooms Naruto in this story with the sole intention of claiming her. Most of this fic takes place after this point so after he’s claimed Tsunade, it’s obvious no woman would be able to resist him since the world works on a simple dynamic of strength and power. Other reviewers describe this version of Naruto as an asshole. He is, but you have to look contextually in the story. The women in the story adore him but that’s because he is an alpha sex god and they’re all broken by him. The only guys who show up are Sai, basically an emotionally stunted eunuch, and Sasuke, a guy who has at one point tried to kill every woman in his life that wasn’t his mother. Naruto expressing regret or lamenting his ability to bend women to his will isn’t him being portrayed as a nice guy, it’s him dealing with the fact that he can get away with anything through sheer force and also being scared that he likes doing it. In a way, he’s just as much a slave to his biology as the women are to him.

My recommendations for Sniperjoe. Don’t abandon the fic before you get to Tsunade’s claiming. My personal favorite chapters are Alley and Tsunade 1 since I like the way you write Tsunade and Hinata. Hinata is my favorite in the story because of the contrast of innocence and dirtiness so more of her is always great.

@BigE

Where in any of your stories does logic exist? And sweep you away and engross you? Mate, I don't know who told you your story delivers that but they lied. Horribly.

I tried to read 3 separate stories of yours. 2 here and another on HF but I couldn't even get passed the half-way point. And those were the ones where Naruto is the MC so I think I can criticize your terrible writing and if that doesn't qualify me then how about the fact I'm a year away from getting my English Major. Doesn't matter? Don't believe me? I don't care.

And my purpose of the question is how can you offer help when everything you criticize him over is something you have absolutely no experience in whatsoever? You've written a few stories and suddenly you're a 'good author'? Get over yourself mate! I hate that I've wasted my time discussing this with either you when everyone and their entire bloodline could see that your problem is that he's bashed your favorite character and nobody from the Sasuke-fandom will raise hell about it like the Naruto-fandom did your stories while I'm still on the fence on whether Dai is an alternate account of yours or whether he actually has a pretty baseless problem that has a simple solution that involves not reading the story. Though he also could have just commented for the hell of it and is laughing at my reaction. Oh well.

Regardless what either of you say, I'm done discussing this with either of you as I think it's disrespectful to argue in the comment section of any author's story. SniperJoe if you are reading these, I apologize. For all of us.

To BigE2955 Yes to you there is a world beyond narutoxharems power wanking and character bashing and that is sasukexharems cuckoldry and naruto sissyfying cause that is what i see nowadays in each and every one of your fanfics that you post here its either cuck him or huumiliate him and when people do it to your precious sasuke-sama as i've said earlier it's blasphemy oh sasuke-sama is a genuine arrogant asshole so he gets all girls to spread their legs and fall in love with him while naruto is a timid loving cuck bitch thats your logic, each and everyone of your current fanfics always come up with sasuke cucks naruto and naruto takes it like a bitch with a smile on his face and you think thats quality writing well then fine good for you be happy with that just leave the rest of us to enjoy our naruto harems in peace i've stopped reading and reviewing your fics cause i know how predictable you can get with them alright nobody is telling you to stop writing what your writing just stop being a bloody hypocrite over here please thats all were asking.

@DoesItLookLikeICare

Jesus christ, this pissing contest between you and Mr. Dai has gone on long enough.

Give it a rest, will you? No? Okay, then.

Firstly: of course it's porn. We're on a website called 'Adult Fanfiction'. 'Porn' doesn't necessarily mean that it has to suffer a complete lack of logic and good story telling. The best kind of porn is the kind that can sweep you away and engross you.

Secondly: I don't think you know what 'sentence structure' or 'plot' is. In fact, I doubt you've ever actually read any of my stories; and if you have, it's blatantly obvious that you're allowing your preconcieved notions to get in the way of actually making a critique.

Thirdly: as Dai said, popularity means nothing. This story is more popular than all of SniperJoe and my story's combined: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3201446/1/Neo-Yondaime-Hokage. It doesn't mean it's better, or even slightly decent -- the first few paragraphs have a dozen grammar errors alone. But, oh wait, but your logic it's 'popular' so it's better, yes?

And regardless, I honestly think you must be joking. SniperJoe has written three other stories -- each one has about 10 reviews, and each one is one to three chapters. That doesn't seem as 'well recieved' as you claim considering one of my one shots has about as many reviews as those three stories do combined.

Lastly: are you daft? The real purpose behind our 'offer' is just as Dai said: It's definitely not cause we want Sniper Joe to actually improve the quality of his work. Apparently, wanting to help a geniunely talented author progress past this trap you guys have him locked into is a bad thing. There's a world beyond Naruto harems and endless power wanking and bashing of other characters -- apparently, you haven't reached that conclusion yet.

Have a nice day, :)

@Dai

Dude/Dudette, it's porn. SniperJoe even said he's not writing an actual story, he's writing for stroke purposes. Period.

If he wanted to write for plot, just the teasing chapters where he's setting stuff up for the future pretty much says he doesn't need either of your help. 

And about me insulting every other author, no I pointed out the pointlessness of either you or BigE talking about quality when BigE has the sentence structure and plot of a 3rd grader, and that's even including if his are just for stroke purposes as well, while you looking for a story inside of a stroke story really says a lot about your thinking. Psst, it doesn't say a lot.

And if an author came to a more erotic based site to write a story that doesn't involve sex and has that 'quality' you keep spouting off about instead of posting it on Ficwad or ArchiveOfourown or FF or literally hundreds of other sites that they can get the credibility they want then chances are they aren't all that bright either. Because tell me, what sense would it make to post a story on a site that people are looking to get off?

SniperJoe delivers that to the T. Whether it's because it's a NarutoxHarem story or not, it's popularity still outmatches everything either of you have written. And whether you like it or not, his popularity on this site is pretty telling and it's not even just this story as his other ones are well received as well because he knows why he's writing the story and its intended audience and delivers efficiently.

And honestly, as much as I hate this saying it pretty much fits here, nobody is holding a gun to your heads and forcing you to read this. So I guess the only question that remains is...

What is your real purpose for your 'offer'? Because sorry, your supposed reasoning has so much BS behind it Helen Keller would both see and smell it miles away.

@DoesItLookLikeICare

Pft! I'm sorry, but did you ACTUALLY use the logic about the story being more popular more in regards to how there's more reviews? That's the argument you're going with there, right? 

If you think that popularity = quality, then you, my friend, have likely written very little in your life. 

And you actually have insulted just about every other author on this and many other sites that are plagued with the case of having less reviews despite having more quality in their work by saying that. 

Why do you think Kage Sexbomb is so popular? Cause Sniper Joe is able to make high quality work? 

No, it's because he's actually writing a NarutoxHarem that he updates, when most of the fics that are around are either Sasuke fics or some yaoi fics. Very little has Naruto be a central figure in them, especially this one where we have Naruto be this huge stud of an alpha that is destined to bitchify every girl that would even gaze upon his perfect body and cock. 

The fic's quality can easily be better, and I enjoy several scenes it has, but it's still lacking. I don't care if Naruto cucks everyone and NTRs all the girls. I don't care if he is loved by every girl and envied by every man. But the story has become just overall cheap and tells very little, except wonder which random girl will spread her legs for Naruto next time. 

But apparently, because BigE and I seem to be the ONLY ones that seem to have any form of criticism for this fic, we MUST be the bad guys. It's definitely not cause we want Sniper Joe to actually improve the quality of his work. No, we simply MUST hate him because he's writing a NarutoxHarem and cucking our 'beloved' Sasuke. 

P.S I mean, think about it: Your story is crazily more popular than all his so exactly how could he offer any help? 

Even your Mario and Link stories have more credibility than all his. I think that says a lot.

And Dai? No idea what the hell that guy is talking about and at this point wouldn't be surprised if it's just another account of BigE trying to support himself and make himself look like less of an ass than he already has. Their words do seem awfully similar...

I'm guessing you've already figured it out but their words are just a thinly veiled attempt to drag your story to mediocrity...kind of pathetic on their behalf.

Please tell me that BigE isn't trying that whole reverse psychology bullshit where he critics your work but 'offers' you 'advice' on how to better your story? When your story is the single most popular story on the entire site? Hands down no argument.

I get it, his stories are somewhat popular to the pests this site has been collecting over the past few years where but I think we can all agree that your single story is more important than all his combined and honestly I think that pisses him off. I think honestly that he's threatened by your story and writing skills where his circulates the same generic bullshit he's trying to pass off onto your story. Actually not even just your story because I saw him do the same to another author on here and the dude hasn't posted since.

He's trying the oldest passive aggressive-manipulation assholes use to bolster themselves by systematically tearing down their competition which in all honesty is stupid if he believes for one second that his writing skills are actually worth a damn. I've seen better sentence structure and better plot from my 7yr old nephew, ergo his writing and stories are absolute trash, something I'm guessing he subconsciously knows but radiates in his fanbase full of idiots who couldn't tell their ass from a hole in the ground! 

Sorry Sorry, but seeing that technique just pisses me when he knows damn well he's not close to your league in writing but swears up and down 'he's trying to help you' well if his intentions are so pure why is he only trying this with you where your story has bashed his favorite character, when if anything he should probably be the one kissing your ass. You've been gone for a while and came back without missing a step where he's never found the first.

Unbelievable. Now there's two of them.

Look don't let BigE and Dai get you down. It's like they haven't actually read the story, or else they are just projecting a whole lotta their own nonsense.

They both say that Naruto is cruel and that you've justified it.

Now if he's justified then he's not an asshole.

Like they just describe a three dimensional character as if it's some horrifying thing.

Saying Naruto is sometimes bad and sometimes good, just means he’s a mortal red blooded male.

But it's because I've skimmed their stuff and those characters are about as textured as a sheet of A4 printer paper.

I myself get the premise that all the kunoichi are submissive and Naruto’s a big ol’ alpha because he’s OP strong.  It's not even hard to buy. Like you said, all the girls are kunoichi and half of them share blood with aliens (Ototsuki clan) so I mean the premise isn’t even that hard to buy.

You make it clear enough, and repeat it in different ways so that it's not too repetitive. But I can tell how important it is to you that the premise is brought up now and then.

How are they saying that he's raping Ino, when she jumped his dick in the Onsen?

How can he be taking away Hyuuga Identity. I remember that they started calling themselves cocksleaves because they were jostling for that D.

Naruto never called himself a saint. He admits to his mother that he’s had a debauched life and he’s worried if it’s ok.

In other words everythng has a reason and a context. And it's not a bad thing. It's not going out of your way to justify actions. That's called plot.

They just wouldn't understand what plot looks like if it bit them in the ass.
 

The meanest your Naruto ever was, was during chapter 2. And it's super justified. Hell it's justified just by watching Cannon Shippuden. Sakura treats him like shit from day one. And Sasuke tried to kill Karin, Sakura, and Naruto, and all the Kage, and Konoha as a whole. Like holy shit if you want a saint then cannon Naruto is the real saint.

You can hate your best friend. And if Sasuke was my best friend, I would hate him too.

By this point you have received so many reviews that I don't know if you even get to reading this one. But I still wanted to say that I truly love it. I finished reading it practically in one sitting the first time I came across your story. It is a testament to your writing skills that you manage to keep the reader invested throughout the entire story. A true great writer can, with his words, create a visual image in the readers' mind that gets the readers to fully emphatise, and engulf themselves in the story and events. And you succeeded admirably in this. From start to the end, every chapter, every event, it's all so captivating. And above all else you manage to keep the same 'tone' with your story in regards to the tone set in the first chapters. It's also extremely erotic.Your descriptions and inner monologues durign sex... pure sex, pure smut and pure awesomeness.

I love the fact that you weave  several different story lines througout the story. The different stories with the Hyuuga's, Tsume, Sakura and Sarada for example, all the while juggling different time frames. All very interesting and refreshing to read. The pacing is also quite good. Normally the story is either too fast, with Naruto becoming akin to a sex god in the first chapter screwing the entire list of girls in one sitting, or too slow, with endless chapters droning on and on about filler subjects, misunderstandings and unresolved sexual tension.

The best part to me is when you showed the difference Naruto treats other women around him in contrast to his wife. While honorable, just and caring in one way he also holds his wife in greater standing. It was best shown in the third chapter. "

Naruto smiled. “You’re number one Hinata.” He said gently, kissing her neck.

She shuddered. She could still feel his hardness nestled comfortingly inside of her.

“I fought for everything in my life. I didn’t get any damn hand outs. I had to scrape my way to where I am. Except for you. You were free. You just came out of nowhere and loved me.” He explained, turning her head and kissing her languidly."

And his unceremonusly pulling out of Sakura to service Hinata propperly. Both a testament to how Naruto views his wife as something higher than the rest. I wonder, could we please get to see how events transpired before the first chapter? How Naruto and Hinata (and perhaps others) interacted before?

Nevertheless, I cant stress anought that I really like your work. You've succeded to such an extent that you sir, are among the greats in writing. I can spend an entire day talking about how awesome your writing is. But just let me summarize by saying: "You sir, you *ROCK!"

I am happy to welcome you to the Church of Ino, brother. After following this story for months I am pleased to see you have finally accepted your feelings. I knew you were a potential member the moment I saw that your were making Ino the girl we as the audience spend the most time with and get to see every single step of her descent into sex-fueled madness. It is my hope that our Goddess may remain a highly functioning sex slave.

The idea that you might bring in RTN Ino fills me with joy, since she is a perfect mix between the two best girls in the whole Narutoverse, Ino amd Hinata. And you kmow what they say, it's always the silent ones.

If you really want to adventure into Blackmail/Bashing you could stretch things a bit and go A (Fourth Raikage) as a victim of blackmail. He was actually the one behind Hinata's kidnapping. And some fics like to imaginr that he has a relationship with his secretary Mabui.

Another possible victim of blackmail would actually be Onoki. I know it is never explicitly stated but you could play with the timeline a bit and have him be either in charge or a key player during the genocide of the Uzumaki clan.

Iwa's possible issues with the Yellow Flash could be play a role too.

Great fic Man, love the smut.. Ignore that big Hypocrite bigE, he's just a sasgay fanboy want to make himself better.. oh, how about you curb stomp sasgay even more, make him watch Naruto Impregnate Sakura and Mikoto while they're ovulating.. ooh, that would be fantastic.. well, keep up the good work man..

And to bigE, get the fuck out of here! Go masturbate to your cocksucking sasgay!

went and read some of the reviews for this story. masterkru makes a good point that some of the reader's seam to forget how the world works in this story.  I think that you even showed naruto's struggle with it a bit. a  Tsunade chapter mainly were she is training naruto with Shizune would probably be a good way of showing naruto coming to terms with struggling with the way he thinks it should be and what this world would even like for real. even though it doesn't really fit with your story theme a hinata only chapter would also be a good way were his girlfriend or fiancee at that point convince naruto she truly wants such extream treatment. showing naruto's main girls and naruto suffering because he was coming to terms with the nature of the world would work. Hinata wouldn't want her man to suffer and naruto I figure would open up to her if he did anyone. arranging something with some of naruto's girls would work for her.

Great work on the onsen series i love how you are depicting the level of dependance the women have on thier master and your work fills the sexual dominance/superiority fetish perfectly i find your work to be extremely arousing. personally i would like to see the follow up to the breeding maybe a chapter about naruto's pets/slaves being pregnant

Good little bit of story-building in this recent chapter. Kinda interesting to have the main sex scene just kind of good no one n in the background and not exactly be the main focus. Still pretty enjoyable to read though, it’s really good to see this story continue so much after its long hiatus.

I feel for Sai in this one. Knowing how the world in your fic works(which I think is a thing certain  people in the reviews tend to forget) it was probably the best thing to do, but you can still tell how hard it was for him to do so. Sai’s definitely a good guy, just suck with being dealt the short end of the stick. 

As an aside, ff.net can be a bit tricky with lemon fics, especially one this explicit. You might want to try AO3 or Hentai Foundry instead, as the ff one might get taken down for sexual content.

Still enjoying the fic, hope you keep writing!