Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for On The Cusp

By : Okami-Rayne

From ANON - InkSlinger13 on December 10, 2015
Hooboy! What a ride! The emotion portrayed in this series is unequalled. I'm sure at one point I laughed, cried, groaned and frowned all within one sentence. Utterly fantastic writing. Now I'm off to hopefully find the rest of the series. Oh please let there be more. Thank you, seriously THANK YOU for sharing this with the world. Amazing.
Report Review
From wolfkin59 on December 13, 2013
Again, this is a wonderful sequel and I very much enjoy reading your works.
May new readers always find you,
Cuzosu
Report Review
From ANON - Athrun434 on July 02, 2013
thanks for a wonderful engaging story. could not stop reading it. felt sorry for shikamaru finding out about his past but at least he's stable now. love reading about the relationship between shika and Negi. you've got a real knack for writing cant wait for future instalments.
Report Review
From ANON - corgigrape on March 03, 2013
This was as good as BtB, I only wish it hadn't ended so soon! There is so much I want to know, including Shikamaru's past. And I am very curious as to the dark past of Shikaku's that Yoshino witnessed/was a part of that you hinted at (I really like them as characters and as a couple). Are all Nara men destined to have dark shadows? I was glad to see the return of the little orange bird, and Shikamaru's bird. Temari was evil. The interactions between Asuma and Kurenai were bittersweet, since I know what will happen to Asuma. I've started following Requiem on ff.net (I almost cried when I saw you were on hiatus, so glad you decided to work more on the series in between your original works). Thank You!
Report Review
From ANON - randomness on October 22, 2012
I wanted to leave this review at DeviantArt but can't for the life of me figure that place out yet so here it is instead.

As I hold back the blur of moisture in my eyes I'm gonna try to leave my final review for this story and not sound completely ass- kissy, lol. I just made that word up but really I review with honesty always and if it sounds like ass kissing than maybe it is a little :o) and well deserved.

First I went into reading this with a small doubt of it not being as great or epic a story as BtB was. I was so very wrong and happy for that. On the Cusp was just as amazing and entertaining a read and ride as Break to Breathe was, and here is where I stop comparing them.

I often cock a brow at your humor but its funny in a sense that it works for the moments where its inserted. You know, when a part of the story needed to be humorous it was even if my mind didn't always think it was funny and that's in no way a bad thing or insult, I've always been lagging in the humor department when it comes to writing it myself or reading it. You still did it well.

With that said Shikamaru and the bird are too precious no matter how annoyed Shika gets at the poor animal. The whole reason for that birds being in the first place makes those moments he's being chased down and dive bombed too sweet.

The Nara forest, you have made that place one of my most favorite areas ever and I wished Kishimoto took the actual show there more. The deer and their personalities and interactions with Shikamaru and Shikaku always made me feel happy or relaxed, I always enjoyed any scene that was written in or around the Nara home.

I am the biggest lover of dark and stormy weather, rain, thunder, lightning, etc. So it makes me very happy that you base a lot of days in the village and out of it on gray skies. It always provided good atmosphere for my minds reading pleasure. You give great detail of the locations as well. I have a hard time visualizing a lot of things without actually seeing it first, my imagination is weak but you're descriptions give me enough to go on and get a decent visual of what you wanted to be seen as far as decor of the Ryokan, the Hyuuga compound, the bars and restaurants, all of that. Without it being so much detail that its overkill, you know? Some authors, real novelist and fanfiction authors alike, can often get caught up in scenery description and detail to a point where it loses something and I just want to skip it and say enough already but you didn't do that, which makes reading about a place and an area enjoyable.

Being my reason for having read Btb and OtC I can proudly say I loved the moment when Shikamaru and Neji finally reunited. From the moment Neji started watching Shika from the distance to when he broke through the doors to save him from drowning. Their reactions and interactions, thoughts and emotions, from the fighting to the sexual pleasures it was all so very well written and enjoyed. I was right back in that place of clenching my teeth and forgetting to breathe myself and even feeling the peace washing over in those moments shared. When Neji started lying to Shikamaru about how he felt, because we know Shikamaru's a big believer in lies making things easier- not, I had no words for how much I loved that dialogue. The timing of the words the way Neji spoke them the way Shikamaru received them it was brilliant and forever burned into my mind as one of my favorite moments in this story and there are so many but that moment is in the forefront. The mental thoughts Shikamaru had after Neji had gone about one day being able to hold those memories they share and not feel a sense of loss and both of them holding the pieces in their own way, it gave me so much happy hope for the future, it'll be a torturous wait but worth it.

Asuma and Kakashi were a great adorable pair in this. Asuma and Shikamaru stole the show for me every time they were together. That bond is and always will be one of my favorites especially the way you write them. When Shikamaru finally broke down and let Asuma be there to hold him up I lost it. I was so sad/happy and a little upset of the mystery still surrounding the HE and what happened to Shika on this side op mission two years ago but I know the information was withheld for a good reason so I'm ok with waiting for that.

Shikamaru's relationship with Ino and Chouji, perfect. Neji and his cousins, I'm still on the fence for how I feel about that. You almost made Shikaku the bad guy for me with the way he's treating Neji and his power over his destiny as ANBU. I appreciated the minor interactions of Neji and Kakashi I think there should be more of these two out there in the Naruto-verse.

This fic remained raw and real, which by the way has always been my favorite saying as well. It took me on so many different levels of feeling with each and every character, even the minor players. From Kakashi's guilt over not trying hard enough as a sensei, and Kurenai's nervousness to fall in love, and every time Asuma felt that anger and rage to protect Shikamaru and find out the truth behind his students demons. The mental and physical pull of Neji/Shika- always my favorite moments. As I read I was there mentally and physically for every tiny piece of these characters thoughts and feelings that you wrote out so well for them and I loved it all. The highs and lows and stand stills and hopes of moving forward were all there from beginning to end. So once again I feel like I've been tied to the back of a train and dragged over, under and through hell to heaven throughout each chapter wanting to shake you violently at times and then hug at other moments. So I will gladly take a place in that padded room with you just to relive it all over again. I definitely HEAR YOU and thank you a thousand times over for what you say and do.

I feel like I'm forgetting to say so much but my minds getting away from me the more I talk about it, I will definitely be printing parts of this story as well. Thank you again for writing and sharing this.

Report Review
From ANON - randomness on October 13, 2012
Was chapter 9 the best chapter so far? Absolutely ;O) the reunion of Shika/Neji was priceless, perfect and unexpected. That's all I can offer right now because my brain is currently mush from the enjoyment of reading. I'll be back!
Report Review
From ANON - randomness on October 10, 2012
I'm going to try and not spaz out for this review because U read a lot before hand. First forget about editing errors, I swear this site adds them on their own sometimes, its almost impossible to properly fix anything I hope the issue gets fixed though because its my favorite site. The mistakes don't hinder the enjoyment factor of reading too much anyway.

O.K I used to be a Shika/Tema shipper back in the days until I found the immense joy of Shika/Neji and now to me Temari is a thing of the past. Her and Shikamaru are more associate friends now without benefits, lol. But that's just me my point being their interaction in this story didn't throw me too much. I enjoyed the banter to a point I didn't like that Temari decided to get her revenge and be a bitch at his birthday party. Which I still think was a torture session on the guest part.

You are making me feel so sorry and sad for Shikamaru with his sleep deprivation and haunted memories resurfacing, which have me very intrigued and needing to know the full story behind "two years ago". On top of all that he has to deal with his friends and their issues its wrong. However, I do love that its bringing out Shikamaru's dark side a little. I find that very attractive on him and realistic. You can't work in shadows and not have some darkness lingering inside. Its good, so thank you for exploring that part of our lazy ninja. At the same time I want Neji to know how badly Shikamaru needs to "control" this part himself so he can say "Not so stupid simple is it?" or "I told you so" whichever works.

I loved that Neji played tug of war with himself wandering the village on whether to go to the birthday circus- I mean party, :) or stay away and he ended up on Shikamaru's cloud gazing rooftop instead. It was so sweet.

Now, drunk Ino what a sad state that was to read, no girl should be talked down to by anyone let alone their own mother. I'm glad Shikamaru placed some pieces of her rubik cube and wants to help her out. I was nervous that she was going to confess her undying love for him and how awkward would that be? I loved the sweetness of Team 10 once the drama died down and they were all settled into the hotel room then Choji whips out the semi broken camera, priceless.

Back tracking on Kakashi and Asuma's conversation in the bar, I loved it. You just have this wonderful ability to write the characters perfectly IMO. I'm only on chpt 8 though life's keeping me busy but I can't wait to read on and see how this turns out now that the birthday part is done. By the way thanks to you I've developed the phrase Stupid o'clock and stupid simple :o)
Report Review
From ANON - randomness on October 05, 2012
Wow Shika's party seems more like a torture/interrogation session than celebration, poor thing. An that Temari I am disliking her more by the minute she's no good around him in many ways. Now I'm extra intrigued at Shikamaru's anxiety issues and what's causing them and why, in the back of mind thinking hmm maybe Neji could help him with that in the future. Still enjoying the show very much I was hoping a battle would ensue between Sakura and Ino over Hibari lol.
Report Review
From ANON - randomness on October 02, 2012
Now I'm very intrigued about Kakashi's involvement with "two weeks ago" and his riddles. I love the Asuma/Kakashi dynamic as well, more flawless character "character" if that makes sense. Ino and Temari still remain a mystery I'm not sure I want solved, lol.
Report Review
From ANON - randomness on October 01, 2012
I'm not sure I'm liking Temari's role in this story, very nervous about that in a good way. The boys protectiveness over Ino warms my heart no matter how well she can take care of herself. The party seems to be more troublesome for Shikamaru than enjoyable but I'm enjoying it. All the secrets roaming around and unanswered questions are keeping me glued to my seat.

Are you trying to make me bitter and sad with how poor Neji is suffering? I hope he gets some relief eventually.
Report Review
From ANON - randomness on September 30, 2012
The physical and descriptions of the characters are so good in this, from Neji's proud straightness to Naruto's glowing aura its all very visual, I like it. As well as the locations in the village I read about the Nara forest and immediately feel the relaxed vibe there as opposed to the Hyuuga compound which is cold and for lack of better word, sad. I'm still taking the journey slowly so I haven't gotten any farther than chapter 4. I can't wait to see how Shikamaru's birthday party turns out and find out why Ino is so weird around him lately and why Temari is really in town.

The moments of Neji remembering his father, are heart wrenching and exactly how I've always felt he'd feel about the man so I really enjoy that. I've never been into reading about the parents in these types of stories but you bring them to life and give them so much true to the "Naruto-verse" character it makes them enjoyable. I've always liked Shikaku but now I love him.
Report Review
From ANON - randomness on September 28, 2012
I'm so happy I don't have to be completely pulled out of the BtB world you created with my favorite characters. Finding out this was here made my day. I love long chapters and I love how you go into the lives of the other characters. Shika/Asuma are my favorite sensei/pupil pairing the way you write for them is perfection, whether they are together interacting or separate, its always good. I can't wait to continue this.
Report Review
From HavocTellenoi on September 17, 2012
I read the first one. Spied this one, just finished it now. Cannot wait for the next installment. Heart-wrenching, heart stopping, violent, sappy, sweet, honest, brutal and wonderful. It's a roller-coaster ride to read and great too. Looking forward to Requiem when you post it! Keep up the excellent work!
Report Review