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Reviews for Don't Betray A Demon

By : Cordytoad
  • From bankai99 on November 25, 2012
    This is one of my favorite stories on this site, please continue.
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  • From mattcun on November 15, 2012
    plz write more
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  • From ANON - jamescun on October 23, 2012
    plz write more
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  • From ANON - Anon on October 08, 2012
    So, I think next should be Hinata: since Naruto originally built her up into a strong and confident ninja, now is the time for him to ruin her completely. He should not only take control of her, and have her doing humilating acts, but turn Hinata into her sister's personal plaything. In return Hanabi should take control of the clan and serve Naruto's goals.

    Kurenai should follow, and suffer the fate of becoming a whore. Doesn't matter who or where, if they're willing to pay her dirt cheap prices, she'll do it.

    As for Tsunade, she should A) be humilated (possibly in public), maybe fucked on Dan/or Nawaki's grave? and B) turned over to Danzo for his personal amusement.

    Ino should be used, then tossed to Ami.

    Jiriaya however, should be turned lose to indulge in all his perverted tendency's.


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  • From TheDisturbed01 on August 26, 2012
    Hey man, Great chapter again. I like the amount a detail you've managed to squeeze into your story so soon. All you really need now is more experience with using large amounts of detail. things like describing positions as well as lengthening the sex scenes so they don't sound like a quicky. Some great material to read to get a better ideal on how to word and describe events in your story would be Hot Springs and Gloryholes by c0p13r, NILF by EroSlackerMicha, Practise(should definitely check out) by Dan70051, and Red and Black by Justified. These all have great amounts of detail that I think you could benefit from greatly. And keep up the good work!
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  • From ANON - Garg22 on August 08, 2012
    Nice. While not the best work out there it's still a fun, quick and dirty story with mind control and incest my two faves. If you ever want to take it to the next level, remember that all stories thrive on conflict. Give the main character something that they struggle to overcome, even if it's just their own conscious.
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  • From ANON - Anon on July 24, 2012
    very nice fic though i do hope you make it longer soon and that your neck chapter comes out soon as well and i vote for his next targets to be Tsume and Hana Inuzuka
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  • From ANON - randomfan on July 20, 2012
    I vote for the person he say in the crystal ball be tsume and hana inuzuka so he can have another clan under his control and be one step closer to his plan
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  • From CryoBlaze on July 11, 2012
    Just adding to my previous review, that while I understand Naruto is going to share his girls with Teuchi, I think Teuchi will have his own preferences. I see Teuchi liking the ones around Naruto's age, so I can see him having Hinata, Ino, Tenten, and Sakura as his personal girls that he uses, while Naruto will add Temari and Kin to that number during the Chuunin Exam for Teuchi to play with.

    As for the list of girls with Naruto, can you add both fem Haku (who will be shared with Teuchi), and Konan (shared with Jiraiya). As for Naruto's personal girls, I do see him letting Jiraiya use them for inspiration, and if he needs some 'actresses' for any Icha Icha movies (think of Koyuki getting a bukkae from a henged group of Naruto, Teuchi, Kyuubi, Jiraiya, and selected people).

    As for the teams, why do I see Mikoto being in charge of Naruto, Sasuke and probably Sakura (replacing Kakashi, who I'm sure Naruto can keep occupied if it comes to it).

    And yes I understand (although it seems other didn't), that Kushina is going to be a whore for this story since even if Naruto did remove the seal from her, Kushina could still be influenced by Jiraiya, Sarutobi and Naruto himself to still spike her lust (due to how the seal's effects would remain even if it was removed). Although something did occur to me that Naruto can probably get Kushina pregnant because he is Minato's son and has the genetic markers to prove it (and thus causing the seal to allow Naruto's sperm the chance to impregnate Kushina).

    Hoping that there's an update soon.
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  • From Ian904 on July 08, 2012
    Hope you keep updating. Also I wish someone would explain the whole kushina thing. Yeah she's hot but we've only seen her a little compared to others and half the fandom acts like if she's not naruto's lily-white princess the world would end. For example who goes reads a smut story then gets pissed it's outta character and has sex? Their isn't a single lemon on this site that's "in character" Ah well hope this keeps up
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  • From CryoBlaze on July 03, 2012
    Hopefully Hinata's mother also lived, that way Naruto can fuck both her and Neji's mother. And he might even be able to make a deal with Hiashi to allow Naruto to grab several attractive female branch members to use as slaves, if Hiashi can be allowed to fuck Neji's mother and Hanabi whenever he wants without trouble.

    Also maybe Teuchi should expand his shop to include Dango and Naruto can help add a Spicy Anko to the menu after enslaving Anko.

    I'll say to go with mystery candidate #3, unless you are having Naruto also claim either Hinata's or Ino's mother when he claims their respective daughter.
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  • From CryoBlaze on July 03, 2012
    Hopefully Jiraiya can be an ally of Naruto in this life as well. As for what Naruto can offer him, how about time with both Tsunade, Shizune, and occasionally Kurenai (I figure Minato would have placed the seal on both Tsunade and Shizune, while Naruto would place one on Kurenai). Although Jiraiya would have to help get Kushina out of Sarutobi's clutches (maybe send Sarutobi Tsume and a Hyuuga as playtoys).

    Although for part of Naruto's revenge against Tsunade, how about he has her 'work' to pay off her debts. And by putting Jiraiya in charge of it, would allow him to get some great research material using Tsunade and/or Shizune, pay off Tsunade's debts, and most importantly be able to make Tsunade's 'customers' unable to talk to people about what they did with her.

    Althjough I'm going to ask if Naruto can have Yugito Nii, Fu, Mei Terumi, Guren, Yugao Uzuki, and Koyuki Kazehana as some of his personal girls that he doesn't share (he'll need some women just for himself alone to use some of his stamina on). As for Kushina, I can see Naruto sharing her between himself, Kyuubi, Teuchi and occasionally Jiraiya.
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  • From Takai153 on July 02, 2012
    I love revenge fic like this and you do a great job at the lemons. I espeicailly like that Kyuubi has joined Naruto by taking over Sasuke, that's brilliant. I vote for mystery candidate 3. Keep up the awesome work and please update as soon as you can!
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  • From firelordeg on June 30, 2012
    thank you for sharing this fantastic story please continue to update a.s.a.l.a. = (as soon as life allows)also i beg you please never abandon this story
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  • From Liger001 on June 29, 2012
    You know u still haven't given reason for why naruto hates his mother why he is even working with the kyuubi hell he should hate him and screw him over. this fic makes no sense what so ever, so many plot holes its incredible, it seems more like a retard wrote this.
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