Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for A Rose For...Saku- Wait Who?

By : brook13baby13

From Chiaki93 on September 09, 2012
I love it!! i wish for another chapter, it was just too good :D
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From ANON - [o-o] on February 29, 2012
This is great writing and a great story, but you need to beta it- cause there are a lot of grammar errors and it halfway takes away all the delicious enjoyment.

I love the lampshade.

I edited out pretty much most of the grammar stuffs for you, (beta'd it for you, cause it's a great humorous fic ad it sucks that the grammar erros messed up - it looks kind of like you used a spellchecker that messed it up xD. Below fix'd most of it. =) )

Parentheses, take them out and put in your own words. Make sure to stick to one tense.

This is all I can do... it got too exhausting to read the rest. =( It's a pity, cause it's got a really cute plot.

Also, "raven" & "onyx" are over-used. Black eyes, midnight-black eyes, jet-black eyes, dark-eyes, duck-butt hair (j/k), black hair, will do .

either way, here:

Today of all days, it just had to come around.

Naruto slumped in his chair, overthinking and getting a little overwhelmed for the holiday that was circled in bold orange marker on his wall calendar, Valentine's Day. Being the romantic that he was, it left him at a disadvantage for the most romantic holiday of the year.

He flung himself on the table in front of him, sighing... and sighing once more. What the heck do guys give girls that they had been in love with for over twelve years? The last few years were all bust, there was no way he could give Sakura anything that all the other guys wouldn't give her.

The lamest gift that he had given her was a orange collar with pink hearts which was then thrown at his head and then her yelling for him to get lost.

�That is the last time I ever take Kiba's advice on gifts.� He said out loud to himself.

He was sure Kiba had been laughing at him the following day.

Tossing his head to the left and then to the right, �it's tomorrow, think!� He told his brain, hoping the next few thoughts were pure genius.

Bowls of ramen flowed in his mind. He slammed his head face first into the table. �Knock it off! That was last year's gift!� He then started rubbing his forehead into the table, and threw his hands into his golden hair, fisting a good handful of hair. �I'm doomed!� he declared.

And then, a single and the best thought popped up, as if saying "there's hope for you so buck up." Removing his hands slowly from the table and pushing his head up from the table, his eyes blinked a few times. �That's a great idea.� His eyes squinted a bit and he added a few nods to himself. �I could go around asking what the guy's are giving their girlfriend's!�

Jumping to his feet and rushing out the door, he forgot his trademark orange and blue jacket laying on the back of the chair.

~

Pausing in mid-step, he spotted Neji with bags in his hands in front of him walking away from him. He jogged up beside him, making him jolt.

He tried covering his shock with a deeper voice. �Naruto.�

�Neji! Glad I found ya! I really want to ask you something important! You got a sec?" Naruto put on a pleading face with blue eyes and palms place together.

Stopping in his tracks, looking over Naruto with his two pale eyes, Neji asked, �Yes, what's the question?�

�So, Valentine's... is coming up-�

�Tomorrow, yes I'm aware of it, why?�

�Unnn, well... I'm having a hard time pick-�

�Picking out a gift, go on.�

Ignoring all the rude interruptions, Naruto asked, �What are you giving to your special someone?�

�My girlfriend.� He stated and then, �A date, I have to go now. Hope you find something for Sakura... Unlike that matching dumb couples heart t-shirt.� He picked his pace back up.

Naruto stood rooted, �No one is every gonna forget my gifts!!! Gh!� Kicking dirt in frustration, the couple t-shirts, which at the time seemed like a good idea, was a year before his ramen gift. Placing his hands on his hips, titling his head up towards the sky. A date, he wondered. �No way... Sakura would turn me down.�

Tossing the date idea, he searched once more for his friends.

Gladly, he then found Shikamaru next, since all knew Shikamaru was dating the desert queen Temari. But that was shot down since they both decided against the romantic holiday.

�There's got to be someone with a perfect gift!�

~

Naruto searched for about 15 minutes before his stomach started growling He went about finding Ichiraku. As he took his seat, a wave of depression took over. �Why is it so hard to find someone a gift!?!�

Feeling a pat on his back, he turned and came face to face with Iruka.

More hope has come, he thought.

�Iruka, boy am I glad you showed up! I need a lot of help!� grinned Naruto up at his former Sensei.

Taking his place besides Naruto, Iruka smiled. �I heard. Looking for a Valentines gift?�

�Yup," Naruto said, nodding a lot.

�For a girl, right?� he enunciated.

�Yea.� he enunciated right back. (err, why are you having them enunciate? That's kinda weird isn't it? enunciate = to pay. attention. to. each. syllable.)

Placing a hand over his chest. �Thank god, I thought since the blond and blue eyes guy's would be more into you, but it's fine now. So a girl. Sakura, right?� Iruka said his order and looked at Naruto.

�Wha-� Naruto eye boggled.

�I'm not saying it's a bad thing to be with another guy, I mean I'm with a guy. Girls are really nice!� He smiled.

Naruto's face had the look of pondering at what he just heard but not coming to the correct conclusion.

�Never mind.� Iruka waved it off. �So gift wise, what will you be giving her?�

�I don't know but I just got a lot more confused with life... �

�Ah~ It's fine. It's fine. Sorry Naruto.�

Naruto got up just when Iruka's order came. �Sorry Iruka. I'm gonna go now. See ya.� He left, waving a lazy hand over his shoulder.

~

Naruto awake up on Valentine's day. Blinking once before he moved his legs close to his chest. �Crap.. Nothing.� Rubbing his forehead against his knee's. �Maybe I should just get her a flowers or chocolates...ya..� Signing, something is better then nothing, he thought as he thrown his covers off himself, getting a shower and putting some nice clean clothes on before heading outside.

Before leaving, Naruto had check how much money he had. He probably wasn't going to get a bouquet of flowers, he guess he should have put some money back for Valentine's day.

Outside, couples were just about everywhere.

Heading to the Ino's flower shop, peeking inside and hope that Ino wasn't behind the counter. Glad she wasn't there, maybe she was with her Valentine's date.

Getting embarrassed once he entered, he had his back to the employee. Staring at flowers as he side stepped to avoid flower pots on the ground, "Which one?" he chanted in thought.

Well, even Naruto knew a rose is pretty on Valentine's. He spotted the roses at the corner of the shop and zoned over, ninja style.

Scratching a finger to his head. "Which color?" was his next chant.

�Perhaps her favorite color, sir?�

Flinching a bit, some ninja, Naruto glanced over his shoulders to find a smiling employee behind him. When did he get behind him?

�F-favorite color, huh.� Turing his head back around. �She wears red a lot. But red is all gone..�

�Yea, red is a popular color for this particular day. I'm sorry but we are out of that color, what about her eye color?�

�Green.�

�Ah.� A water drop appeared at the side of his head.

�Yea.�

�Umm.. well green..�

�You don't have that in rose color..but her hair color is pink!�

�Pink is a great color, sir!�

The employee step to Naruto's side, �how many will you be getting?�

Staring at the price tag for the roses, Naruto stammered, �O-one.�

The brown haired employee chose the best one out of the bunch. Showing the perfect one to her customer, she asked, �Will this one do, sir?�

�Ah. Thanks!� Paying for his rose he soon left the store.

"Pink hair and green eyes, that's a weird looking girl.. only those girls in mangas that mangaka have drawn up have those," the employee thought as he looked on.

~

Naruto was grinning the whole time as he left the store, feeling very proud of himself at the moment. He placed the rose behind his back to hide. Once he saw Sakura, he would surprise her.

He chuckled. Great plan, Uzumaki!

�Flowers?? Ino... that's pathetic!�

Ino was tightly holding a bouquet of flowers, �No they're not. These beautiful flowers are the most wonderful gifts someone could receive on this important day... How romantic of him!�

Snorting, �It's sooo predictable! He was just being lazy and went into and flower shop and let the guy behind the counter to chose the bouquet. Nothing romantic about that!� Sakua huffed, placing her hands on her hips. Getting frustrated by the minute, her green eyes glared at the flowers.

�You are screwed up, forehead! At least I got something and you didn't!� Sticking her tongue out at the jealous girl.

Scoffing, �I'd never be jealous of a halfhearted gift, Ino-P.I.G!� she flung her hands. �if someone ever did give me flowers..." Pointing at herself, she declared, �I would tell them to get lost!�

�Even if the person is Sasuke?� She shot back, her blonde eyebrow twitched.

Sakura waved a hand in front, �Sasuke hates flowers, sweets, and everything to do with Valentine's. All the girls are giving all the things he hates and I'm not giving him anything, except that which he would like, hint, the best Valentine's gift for him!!� She grinned, her smarts was showing. (i'm not giving him anything?)

Ino's blue eyes widen, �that.. is a great gift for him... surprised you thought it.� Closing her eyes and grinned, �great job forehead!!�

Naruto's grin fell off his face, his heart sank. The only thing he could do was stand and listen to that! Stupid Uzumaki! A flower! Great!!! His inner self mocked him, he hated it too.

Slowly backing up so the two arguing girls won't notice him. Being successful in getting away was the only good things about this day, being the flower from behind his chest, blue eyes stared at pink. �Stupid, right?� Talking to a flower now??!! Sighing, he dropped the hand holding the flower to his side.

A sprinkle of rain in the middle of the day and sun was still out, poured onto the ground.

His eyebrow twitched and both his fists clenched. �Of course, now of all time!� He muttered.

The people around him piled inside the closes place to get out of the rain, leaving him the only one left on the street. He stood in the rain for a long time and then no rain...

Something was placed over his head, lifting his head and saw a pink umbrella with white hearts. Looking over his should and found an annoying looking Uchiha.

�S-Sasuke??� He stumbled to turn around.

�Dobe, you don't remember how to get out from the rain or are you just being an idiot?�

He nervously chuckled, �the only thing I'm thinking is why do you have a girly umbrella, teme!?�

Sasuke grunted, turning his blushing face away from Naruto, �I was caught in the rain and a random girl gave it to me!�

Naruto started to chuckle into a full blown laugh, bending over, holding his sides. Uchiha carrying a pink umbrella around was too funny.

Black shadow formed over Sasuke half opened eyes, �Dobe!�

�My bad.. carrying an umbrella is better then a wet Sasuke.�

Shaking his head, bangs flowed with the movement. �What are you doing out here?�

�Well..� Scratching his face with his knuckles, �Valentine's day sucks.�

Giving a questionable look. �How so?�

�Nothing...just thought something amazing might happen today..�

He snorted. �I had to throw away lots of gifts, mostly chocolates and the wor-�

�Do you like flowers?�

Pause. �What did you say?�

�Flowers. Do you like them?�

Sasuke tightened his hold on the umbrella, �Why are you asking me?�

�Do you or don't you!!�

Sasuke winched at the dobe's loudness, �They're...OK.. I guess. Why are you asking me?

Naruto stood up from his bended position, �Thanks.�

Giving his friend a weird look, Sasuke slowly said, �No problem, but still what's wro-�

Thrusting the hand with the flower, Naruto mutered, �Here, teme.�

Sasuke's eyes glued to the pink rose, �Wait...you can't give me th-�

Naruto grab Sasuke's unoccupied hand, and placed the stem into his hands and folded his fingers around it. �Trust me Sasuke. Thanks.� Grinning to his friend, removing his hand and patted him on the shoulders and walked past Sasuke, leaving him gaping.

Sasuke flinched from his gaping, whipped his head around and stared at a running Naruto. His eyes slowly moved to the rose in his hand, blinking a few times. Did that just happen? Naruto, gave him a flower on Valentine's day?

Sheltering the flower from the now heightening rain, looking around at the still empty street. The Uchiha headed home.

~

A rose in a vase full of water in a dark room on a table, and an Uchiha male in a bay window of his house, now in his pj's. His forehead pressed against cold glass, rain drops reflected on his face, a dark blush grew on his face as he looked over at his valentine's gift from Naruto. He shook himself out of his thoughts. It was just a flower!

Finally glancing over to it, he muttered, �dumb dobe.� Wrapping his arms around his bent knees, he held it closer to his chest, his head laid in between his two knees.

~

Naruto breathed in deep before coming to, yawning and stretching his worn out muscles. Today it was his turn at guarding the gate, glancing over at the frog wall clock, he had enough time to shower, eat and run like heck to make it in time. Getting into a setting position, he rubbed his watering eyes. He felt great, he felt relief go through his body, glad that Sasuke was there in that moment that he needed someone.

Getting more energy by the second, tossing the covers from him and dashing into the bathroom, it was less then 5 minutes until he was coming out with stream all around him, rubbing his hair in a towel for his hair to be dry on the run over.

Grabbing clothes and tossing them over the kitchen chair, he pulled out a bowl and a pot to boil water with noddles. As the water boiled, he pulled his boxers and pants on before he went over and turned off the stove, poured the noodle-filled water into the bowl and set it down, letting it cool down as he got his net shirt and jacket on before digging in. He hummed, feeling happy along with his stomach. Slurping, water flung on his checks and chin, whipping as he continued eating.

Once he got down to the bottom, he quickly placed the bowl in the sink, buttoned up his jacket as he made his way to the door, getting to the last two buttons, while the other hand grabbed the the knob and open and got a shock as someone stormed pass the door frame and into the blond, strange hands fisting in his blond still wet hair and was shoved into a kiss that dominated his mouth.

Stumbling backwards, eyes wide open, refusing to blink as black eyes were staring back into his. (okay, I know onyx is popular, but it's too cliched by now. Maybe try "familiar black eyes". And also, black asian eyes up close are actually a very pretty brown, like that of wood.)

Getting his hands out from being pinned in between their bodies, Naruto fisted the teme's clothes and began to push away from him, getting the hint, Sasuke was off him.

The blond gasped, �What the hell teme?! First off you scared the shit out of me and then kissing me?�

(I can't understand what kind of mood he's in.)
Sasuke was deer eye mood, his chest raising and fallen, �I don't know..stupid holiday..I guess..�

Naruto squinted one eye shut as the other blue eye stayed on Sasuke, �what does Valentine's have to do with you kissing me?�

Sasuke avoid his eyes, �you gave me that flower, moron..It got me thinking..� He grunted out, running his hand through his bangs. �Why did you have to give it to me anyway!�

�It was meant for Sakura!�

Sasuke froze up, �Then you should have gave it to her, dumbass!� He yelled.

Flinging his arms, �she doesn't like flowers!�

Now it become clear to Sasuke, �so that's why...� he whispered. Feeling rejected and pained in his chest, he realized he was made a fool. �Sorry for barging in like this, that kiss, you can just forget it.�

Naruto's brows frowned. �I can't forget that, teme.�

Turing to leave, Sasuke was fast walking down the hallway and down the flight of stairs.

�Hey!�

Ignoring the calls as he continued, �Have fun with that bitch� He growled to himself, �Like she could love you..stupid dobe..�

Hitting the ground floor, Sasuke lowered his head and started on his way home.

�ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ME?!�

Stunned crowds on the streets looked up to see a blond grasping the railing as he looked to the ground floor from a couple of flights up.

Glaring right into the ground, red face and all, Sasuke (whatever he's doing.) That idiot! Bunching up his shoulders, he continued on his way, hoping no one would noticed it was him that the dobe was shouting to.

Using his Ninja abilities, Naruto leaped from two stories above and landed on the ground easily, sprinting to the raven-haired boy 15ft away, tackling him from behind as everyone moved around from them to avoid their tumble.

�You bastard! Why didn't you wait!�

Grunting as he land face first in the dirt street, turning his upper body to glare at the dobe. �The hell, idiot! Get off!� Shoving his hand hard against the blond.

Wrapping his arms around Sasuke's legs, �No freaking way! Are you in love with me?!�

�Moron, shut up,� He gritted through his teeth, everyone was starting to circle around them. �Get off of me already!�

Naruto shook his spiky head, �Are you?� He lowered his voice, only Sasuke could hear him.

Sasuke eyes were roaming through the crowd, �doesn't matter.�

Removing an arm from around Sasuke, placing is palm over the Uchiha head, he gripped and forced his head down towards him, making eye contact with the older male. �Tell me.� He breathed out, �are you?�

Breaking eye contact by moving his eyes to a side corner, Sasuke muttered �Maybe. I don't know what I'm feeling.�

�I don't know either.�

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From ANON - Anon on February 29, 2012
Hahaha .... What a joyful piece.
Reminds me that life can be really sweet too.

The story came at the right time cause i am going through a little rough time.

Both of the sasuke and naruto are really clueless. You even torture naruto at the end with what he is suppose to do on a date!
That is soooo cute!

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From ANON - G on February 29, 2012
That was pretty good. It had a lot of grammar mistakes, but I liked that it ended the same way it began, with a confused Naruto. It was also good that there were no "I love you"s, just two confused, but interested, boys.
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