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Reviews for Yes, Young Master?

By : Spiraling
  • From ANON - Mocca_Ciel on March 17, 2014
    When will you post the next chapter ??
    Please inform me. Well i never before read story Naruto being a slave on birth . This interesting .
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  • From ANON - senchan on February 18, 2014
    I like the story, you've written it well even with different POV ,even though this is my first time reading it,can't wait for the next chapter.
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  • From GreenEyedCat on October 14, 2011
    I like the story so far and it's nice to get to know both sides
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  • From Carousel on September 28, 2011
    This is such I great story. I am so intrigued and can't wait for more.

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  • From ANON - Jen on September 27, 2011
    You're very welcome! I'm glad you found my comment useful. :) Yes, I do agree that this is an improved version of the first draft of the chapter! I like how you took out some of the overlap between Naruto and Sasuke's perspectives; however, in the parts that remained, we can really see the differences between their points of view. For example, when Naruto is telling the story:

    "Hmm," the man hummed, turning to his brother. "He's the same age as you, Sasuke." The younger one, Sasuke, merely nodded.

    But when Sasuke is telling the story, we find out that what to Naruto was a throwaway gesture (the nod), is actually a little more significant since Sasuke's lack of response was in fact because he was "captivated by Naruto's gaze."

    I think what's really nice about this version is that we get a good blend of parts of the story that are unique to each person's perspective (for Naruto: what he was thinking while he was on that stage + the complete first meeting with the Uchihas, & for Sasuke: what he was thinking when he arrived at the auction + what happened when they got Naruto back to the house), while also overlapping their perspectives during a particularly important moment (the first meeting). It all flows very nicely. :)

    Really liked the new scene at the end where Sasuke was showing Naruto around. I felt terrible for Naruto when he got wide-eyed over having his own bedroom. That said a lot about the kind of life he's led until now. The part with Sasuke warning Naruto away from Itachi's room was unsettling. Sure, Sasuke claims to have laid it on a bit thick, but if he really said all that for Naruto's "safety," well, that's not good. Makes me wonder what might have happened to that previous slave... But given the way the story began, it's reasonable to assume everything isn't quite right in the Uchiha household. Can't wait to see some of those secrets start to unfold! ^_^
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 26, 2011
    (I review as I read.)

    The summary is much better than the previous one.

    Chapter 1: That quote sounds ominous.

    And a different beginning scene. _ _ _ _ I hope he's not talking about Sasuke, though it certainly sounds like him. _ _ _ _ Holy shit, he seriously tried to kill himself. O.O _ _ _ _ This worries me. I've imagined how this story would continue for years now, but I always figured things would end happy between him and Sasuke. This has me extremely worried, though.

    Now, this scene is familiar, though it's from a different POV. _ _ _ _ "White skin." Naruto's paler than I usually see him. _ _ _ _ I'm surprised that Naruto's incapable of heavy-lifting and is weak with outdoor work. But it makes sense that he's good with animals and children. _ _ _ _ Interesting bit of background information about Naruto. That's new, isn't it? _ _ _ _ That was a good idea, talking to Naruto a little bit before having him strip. _ _ _ _ Heh -- and no chance to test him out this time. Interesting -- the same time limit. _ _ _ _ And anticipation begins. Naruto probably doesn't know what's in store for him.

    Ahh, so the doctor was Iruka-san. I kept trying to figure out if he was a familiar character or not. But that's cool. Is this still in the past, or did we cut back to the future? _ _ _ _ WHAT?! "Dead slave"?! O.O .................. (*chills*) _ _ _ _ And the mystery thickens. I'm guessing Iruka's lying to Sasuke about Naruto being dead. (It is Naruto we're talking about, isn't it? Or is it a different one that's a foreshadowing to Naruto?) _ _ _ _ Little typo: "when word on the street is that you were romantically involved with this slave while in was under your ownership." I think the "in" was supposed to be "he". _ _ _ _ Okay ... so "he died over a year ago" ... Either we jumped even more to the future than the very first scene, or something else is going on. I hope it's the latter. I don't want Naruto to die. =( (They're not mentioning him by name, so it's possible.) _ _ _ _ Now I'm wondering if Sasuke really believes Naruto's dead or if he's covering up for him or something. _ _ _ _ Now they mention his name. I don't believe he's dead.

    So this is the same scene as the second one, but from the Uchihas' POV. _ _ _ _ Checking with the previous version of the story, Naruto's a year older, I noticed. _ _ _ _ I do like how the entire scene wasn't replayed.

    I like this new scene of arriving at the house. _ _ _ _ I like the tour. _ _ _ _ Nii-san! =D (I haven't heard "aniki" once and I'm almost doing the happy dance because of it.) And now I'm really curious about what's in Itachi's room. Probably nothing interesting besides it being his privacy. I wonder if Sasuke's ever ventured into Itachi's room and found something he wasn't supposed to. Or witnessed another slave doing it and saw the punishment. (And reading on, I realize I talk too much and should read more before I open my mouth.) _ _ _ _ "Blue eyes glanced worriedly into the room but their owner did as he was told, taking a few hesitant steps foward." I was a little confused by that sentence, because ownership of Naruto is so highly emphasized in the story. It took me a second to realize it meant the owner of the blue eyes. _ _ _ _ And that's a total cliffhanger. I'm really curious as to what will happen inside.


    Well, this rewrite is well-written, though it has me more anxious than the previous version did. It kind of warns the reader that things might not end well, and to continue at their own peril. I did like the previous version, though, and I am curious about what will happen in this story. And it's great to see some new material emerge in it. Please update soon; I look forward to the next installment. =)
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  • From bloodshound on September 25, 2011
    very interesting. a nice mix of back story and present day. i wonder who got Naru out?
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  • From moodysavage on September 23, 2011
    ok... I hate it when I review and the stupid letters aren't clear... wrong letter means review is lost! *sigh* anyway... I remember reading the original chapter one and I definitely like this one better. I didn't like Sasuke last time. So I'm looking forward to where this one is going.
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  • From ANON - Kira Yuki on September 23, 2011
    O.M.G!!! I searched and searched for this story for AGES and couldn't find it. ;o; I'm so glad it's back!!! I loved the last version and I'm so glad you decided to re-write it. I wonder what could have been so bad for Naruto to commit suicide?? It sounds serious. I hope you update soon! D:
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  • From Madamdragon on September 23, 2011
    Well I did read your old story to this one. Even though you thought it was rushed. I loved it. Love this story too. Hope another update will come soon. Wonder why Naruto tried to kill himself. Hope things work out in the end.
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