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Reviews for Ardor

By : katokachan
  • From ANON - B33 on September 21, 2011
    enjoying this. Great fic.
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  • From runoutofaname on September 21, 2011
    That was awsome! I love it =) Keep it up
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  • From ANON - Joyce on September 21, 2011
    Can I just say that I'm already completly in love with this story
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  • From ANON - bluerose on September 20, 2011
    Good job on your first fanfic! I like Naruto's relationship with his fellow cops and I like that the Uchihas seem pretty scummy. They definitely aren't drug deals with a heart or any other unrealistic thing like that! The only thing I don't like about the story is that Naruto and Sasuke seem a little too hormone-driven. If they were dumb kids in high school, it wouldn't be a big deal for Sasuke to chase Naruto the way he has, but they are adults in dangerous professions, they can't afford to act the way they have been so far. Getting background info on Naruto, following him to a club, Sasuke would definitely know better, no matter how much he might want Naruto. (Getting involved with a cop could bring down Sasuke's whole family and get Naruto killed.)

    About the writing, I have one small suggestion: avoid using Japanese in your fics except for honorifics like -san, -kun, etc. (I saw a couple of "nani"s, etc.) It doesn't bother me all that much, but the use of random Japanese in fics is something a lot of people seem to dislike.
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  • From Prism0467 on September 20, 2011
    I love the 'yeah, that's right bitch' glare. It's so Sasuke!

    Please keep going, I am enjoying this!
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  • From ANON - Jaxx on September 20, 2011
    Love it.. please continue writing this story ..
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