Click Here!

Reviews for Inheritance

By : Nescafevh
  • From FuraMara on November 26, 2011
    I can't wait to see where this story goes.
    Report Review

  • From vampirefanatic on October 22, 2011
    Please continue your soty, it's gotten really good and I like the story line you have created. I Love NaruHina pairings though i still like NaruYaoi more but if i see him with a girl Hinata is my first choice always. Hope you continue.
    Report Review

  • From Dorkchic on August 21, 2011
    So far I am liking the story a lot. I am liking that you are developing Naruto as a person and not just portraying him as a lucky idiot. And I am very much looking foward to the next chapter!

    I just have a few things to point out (and feel free to ignore me). First of all, co-collaborate is redundant because collaborate means to work woth someone else on a project (that is why the word starts with 'co') and spelling is an issue through the whole story so far - it is not serious or horrible, but is noticable and a little distracting. I would recommend a beta. Secondly, it should be a village-wide announcement (not village-wise) meaning encompassing the entire village. You repeatedly used the word 'proff' (it is spelled proof). You also confused quite and quiet. You used quiet (which means lack of noise) when the word you were looking for was quite (meaning complete or completely) as in 'are you quite finished nitpicking my story?' lol

    Other than that I have two things I am confused about. The first is why wouldn't Kakashi have known about Naruto's heritage (I mean on his mother's side - I am assuming he knew and was sworn to secrecy about his father) or been able to get into the Namikaze compound seeing as he was on a team under Minato and was his personal friend? The second concerns the pictures you said were on the wall. You said Kushina was forced into early labor at eight and a half months when Kyuubi attacked so Naruto was born and she died that same night. We also know that Kyuubi was sealed in Naruto that same night by his father who sacrificed his life doing so. Having said all that- how are there baby pictures of Naruto up on the walls in the family home? Much less ones from before the Kyuubi was sealed in him? There would have been no one to take them and even if there were then there would be no way to put them in the house.

    Anyway- I am sorry if this comes off as rude or pushy or anything like that. I do genuinely like your story and hope to read more of it- I just was getting bugged by the inconsistancies.


    Report Review

  • From Metalhead101 on August 08, 2011
    I like where this story is going. You have great potential. I hope to see the next chapter posted soon.
    Report Review

  • From randrinawilson on August 05, 2011
    That was a great first chapter. You managed to put a lot of background information in as well.
    Report Review

T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!