Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Elemental Attraction

By : AvangalineHazel

From moodysavage on March 25, 2012
yeah!!! new chapter!!! I actually reread the story because I'd forgotten what part I had left it on and when I went back to skim over it... I ended up rereading it lol. I do that for the stories I especially like :)

Favorite line this chapter... 'he was not the most patient person in the world, even if he did hide that small flaw in his personality behind some of the larger ones that he had.' Sasuke admitting his little flaws and big flaws lol.

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From ANON - cookieemonster on March 25, 2012
I'm curious, if this turns out to be Mpreg, would Naruto be the one getting pregnant? I love Naruto Mpreg fics. XD I also love preg!naru.
This fic is really good so far. I'm loving all the interactions between the characters. I like how you gave naru fox ears and a tail. SO CUTE! *___*
There were a ton of grammar and spelling errors I found. Which could be fixed with a beta. But nonetheless they didn't deter me from reading this. I do hope we get to see more Neji and Naruto interactions and Sasuke and Naruto interactions. I'm curious as to when neji fell in love with naruto. And what Sasuke is going to do now that he is back in the village and wants to start a family. How is he going to approach Naruto, will Naruto approach him? ;D
great job, and I hope to see an update soon. :)
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From ANON - Emzie on March 25, 2012
Hahahahaha don't care if you don't like it, that was a great end to the chapter!
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From AngelTalion on June 11, 2011
Gah love it... and I can't help but love the play between Neji & Naruto as well as Shika and Neji... I've got a weak spot for them but I'm egarly awaiting the Naruto and Sasuke stuff :) YAY for new chapters.
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From ANON - Jen on June 09, 2011
Sorry, just to jump in: in your review response to Althydia you said you didn't know what canon is. "Canon" (one "n," not two) is just a fandom term that refers to the official characterization, plot, setting, etc. of a fictional universe. Canon is pretty much the standard by which we fans determine if a piece of fic is in-character or not. From wikipeda:

"In the context of a work of fiction, the term canon denotes the material accepted as "official", in a fictional universe's fan base. It is often contrasted with, or used as the basis for, works of fan fiction, which are not considered canonical. It is used in two slightly different meanings: first, "it refers to the overall set of storylines, premises, settings, and characters offered by the source media text".[1]:28 In this sense, canon is "the original work from which the fan fiction author borrows,"[2] or "the original media on which the fan fictions are based."[3] Secondly, it is used "as a descriptor of specific incidents, relationships, or story arcs that take place within the overall canon"; thus certain incidents or relationships may be described as being canon or not.[1]:32"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canon_(fiction)

In contrast, "fanon"--fan + canon--is widely accepted/popular ideas within a fandom. Kyuubi-induced mpreg is fanon. (There is NO evidence of either mpreg or tailed beasts having that kind of power over their hosts in canon.) Naruto making fun of Sasuke's hair for looking like a duck butt is fanon. (Neither Naruto, nor anyone else for that matter, has ever described Sasuke that way in canon.) Sakura + Ino as presidents of the Naruto x Sasuke fanclub is also fanon. Probably you can think of plenty of other examples of fanon yourself if you have a good familiarity with the official manga.

Hope that helped. :)
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From bloodshound on June 09, 2011
i'm likeing this a lot and I'm glad you continued. I'm with neji. How dare those bastards do that to him... though i am kinda surprised he didn't jutsu out. I can't wait to see how things develope
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From ANON - Anon on June 08, 2011
Who's afraid of the NejiNaru thing? I'm not. It will be interesting to see how this comes about. I really like that pairing. Maybe a compromise could be met between the 3 boys.
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From ANON - Althydia on June 08, 2011
Well I'm glad to know there's a reason for the bullying and that things are quite different from the manga. I look forward to discovering all the changes you've brought. Yes, the fox tail and ears were already a good indication but since Naruto wasn't born with them in your story and it was just a recent addition, it could still have lots of similar elements with the more recent manga chapters (which I didn't know you hadn't read yet - sorry for the spoilers!). Also, I think I had a rather strong reaction to the bullying because I had read a few fics where Naruto seemed to be victimised a lot and appeared very weak because of that, which is very different from my own perspective of him (which is that he's one of - if not the strongest character in the manga, although it's admittedly a purely personal opinion). I think that your Naruto is still strong, though, and I like the fact that his friends are protective and ready to take matters into their own hands about the bullying if Naruto won't (in particular: thanks Neji for your swift reaction!).
So, are you going to develop the Neji/Naruto relationship for a while before going to the Naruto/Sasuke part? And I wonder how long can Naruto and Sasuke put off their confrontation... And if their friends will help them quicken the process. Plus, it seems that both Neji and Sasuke have feelings for Naruto (even though Sasuke appears to be more in denial), which has the potential to mess up the harmony in the group of friends quite a bit. But who is Naruto's favourite? :)
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From Dorkchic on June 08, 2011
Of course there are going to be random mistypes and grammatical errors if you are functioning without the benefit of a proofreader so I will not bug you by pointing out a lot of nitpicky details. There is one thing that was bugging me though... I am only pointing this out because I see it in a decent amount of stories and I have no clue why. In this fic you use the word 'sever'. Just so you know- that word means to cut or to seperate. The word you were looking for is 'serve' which means to deliver or to give to. The other one that I see alot is the quite/quiet mix up. Quiet means a lack of noise and quite mean completely or totally. As in... are you quite finished rambling through someone's review? lol You did not make this second mistake- I was just pointing it out for reference purposes. Love the story so far and cannot wait for the rest!
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From ANON - BloodsuckingmonsterFAM on April 26, 2011
Ooooooh, I'm lovin' where this story's going, please post more soon??? *does bubby eyes* Plu-weeeeas?????
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From Carousel on April 12, 2011
This is such an awesome fic. I hope you update soon, because i am eager to read more!
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From moodysavage on April 11, 2011
LOOOOVVEE this story! LOve it love it love it!I'm going to start your other one next... I've been saving it for when I had more time :)

Sasuke smelling like arrogance, insecurity and blood... that was an awesome description of him. And it's so cute how Naruto is kind of snuggly now.

Now do this...put your left thumb in your left ear, your right thumb in your right ear, stick out your tongue, wiggle your fingers, and go "naaaaaaa" That's for those giving you flack about your spelling/grammar lol.

Really you don't have much to worry about. A typo or word tense change here and there won't kill them and it doesn't detract from the story at all. Strong readers substitute naturally when they read and weak readers won't notice. So no worries!

chap. 3 just had 4 places where a wrong word was used which changed the meaning from what you meant. ie. When team Sasuke were putting their hoods up with the "paltry(inadequate) piece of cloth" not "poultry" (chicken). Just let me know if you want to bother with the others.

Till next chapter...write lots!!!! :)

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From ANON - Althydia on April 10, 2011
I really like this story and I'm interested about where you will go with this. I also would like mpreg, if you decide to do it.

I'm only slightly doubtful about one aspect: the violent bullying of Naruto by other shinobi and civilians. I don't know how many of the events from canon you are keeping, but since Sasuke also attacked the Kage summit (as you mentioned), I'd think Naruto also defeated Pein. Correct me if I'm wrong there, but that episode seriously changed how the other shinobi and all civilians thought of Naruto in a very positive way (he was considered a hero and untouchable even by Danzo). And I don't think him sporting fox ears and a tail would bring such a radical change of heart from the population (like Kakashi said: they are shinobi and see weird things constantly - like Orochimaru for example). Plus, even before the Pein attack, shinobi and civilians had been getting better with Naruto because of his many achievements and most importantly they NEVER beat him like that, at least since he became a ninja; their bullying was more oral or through neglect (and shinobi must respect strict rules and can't beat up other shinobi - no matter what they think of them - without facing serious consequences. They are soldiers and are supposed to be sort of role models for the population). Of course you can choose that many of these things didn't happen in your story, but then it would mean that people are worse than in canon (which is already not very high in my opinion) and incapable of changing and evolving positively, which I find hard to believe and a bit depressing. Also, the way things are going, Naruto would have close to no chance of ever becoming Hokage because people can't seem to be able to move on from the past...

I hope you don't think I'm flaming or anything, because I truly like the story, but I just wanted to let you know of my perspective on this because it was bothering me a little. And we're always more critical with the things/people we like. I'm looking forward to another confrontation between Naruto and Sasuke away from prying eyes. I kind of expected Sasuke to have a nosebleed when seeing Naruto's new foxy figure (funny mental picture anyway)...
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From bloodshound on April 10, 2011
things should be getting fun now, neh?
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From AngelTalion on April 10, 2011
pretty good with picturing things in my head based on description! I loves this chapter! Hee hee something in me wonders if Naruto really wnts to rip Sasuke's throat out or not. I totlay could picture Kiba's victory dance and I LOVED his descriptionof Sasuke's scent. Awesome. Nice development with Neji being protective and Shikamaru cuddling Naruto kind of awesome. :) I really hope the next chapter is soon.

As for editing issues don't worry about it. I didn't see anything that made me stumble in the story. I've learned sometimes you just have to ignore some of the things said in feedback or else they'll eat you alive until you just can't post anymore. :( Sad but true... if the editing were REALLY that big of a deal, they'd stop reading. So buck up butter cup ;0p
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