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Reviews for A contract with a bastard!

By : bellabambina24
  • From ANON - ilovepurple on June 29, 2014
    Loved it.... Nice one
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  • From PookyMonster93 on January 17, 2013
    I can not find the cut scenes on you live account and was also wondering why you cut them out. Could you maybe send me a link to the cut scenes? other then that I love the story and your other one Its a seme world!
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  • From Menow on November 17, 2012
    So let me tell you why I'm so disappointed.
    The story is a fun premise, the whole Master/servant theme. Those are always enjoyable.
    You have some really great humor; the bathroom scene with Sai was fantastic.
    While I think the Naruto character is the typical one-dimensional fanfic dobe, the Sasuke character has a unique flavor to him in which he's a little more bold than usual, and the openness of his sexuality (as well as his willingness to use it-- often) adds some complexity to the character.
    However, multiple spelling mistakes, misused words, and bad formatting aside, taking out the sex scenes from a yaoi smutfic has left my entire experience with this story in a state of anti-climactic, unfulfilled dissatisfaction.
    To be honest, despite the fact that I would probably enjoy reading this story to the end, I don't even want to finish it, or even read any of your other stories because I'm just going to be left yearning for gratification.
    Not to mention how confused I am over the reason you would remove sex scenes from an adult site. On ff.net, I totally understand. It's against the rules there. But this site is built for smut. I am simply befuddled at your choice. Use the site for what it offers, or at the very least, don't force your readers to go join an alternative site in order to read the full stories (i.e. make them available to more than just livejournal "friends").

    One more note of critique for future stories (or stories you plan to have beta'd): don't put author's notes in the middle of your story. Using parentheses to offer an explanation is breaking the 4th wall. While that can be fun in film, it's absolutely terrible for written work as it completely disrupts the flow of your story and forces your readers to work to re-immerse themselves after being violently ripped out of the fiction. Use footnotes and put your explanation at the end.
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  • From Menow on November 17, 2012
    Why would you cut the scene on adultfanfiction? It's allowed here. It's part of the reason many of us come here. I wouldn't mind going to livejournal to read the edits, except that most of your stories are for friends (as you said) and I don't have or want a livejournal account. Why not open the stories to all access by putting them here, so you can get more traffic?
    I'm disappointed.
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  • From Menow on November 17, 2012
    The formatting got a little messed up when you posted. Also, beta needed.

    Other than that, story sounds promising.
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  • From SilentShadows101 on November 11, 2011
    I really liked the contract it seemed very realist.
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  • From Hotanimeguysfan on November 24, 2010
    Chap. 9
    The conversation the other employees heard going on in Sasuke's office had me laughing my head off!! This chapter was AWSOME!! LOVE IT!! Oh and the shock of Itachi showing up was just like OH MY GOSH!! WHAT DID HE SEE?? EEEKKKKKK So embarassing!!!
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  • From Hotanimeguysfan on November 24, 2010
    Chap. 8
    The chat over buns and coffee and if Naruto wanted some just had me laughing and grinning like an idiot!! LOVED IT!! :) ehehheh SWEET
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  • From Hotanimeguysfan on November 24, 2010
    Chap. 5 Happy again hehe
    Had to pop over here to read this chap again....the other story where Sasuke adopts Naruto just irritated me so badly and I really wanted to see someone run over him so I could dance on his grave....but changed my mind and left it to come over to this story ....I like Sasuke much better in this one! :)
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  • From Hotanimeguysfan on November 19, 2010
    Chap. 7
    I laughed my dang head off and on and on till my sides hurt!! The thing about the blinds and chair just killed me from laughing so hard. I can so picture the situation.

    Loved the Truth or Dare game and their first kiss. That was just so SWEET!!
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  • From Hotanimeguysfan on November 19, 2010
    Chap. 6
    I think Sasuke is going to kill him!! LOL
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  • From Hotanimeguysfan on November 18, 2010
    Chap. 5
    Have to dash to work but had to say how much I enjoyed this chapter!! I can just picture Sasuke's shock of Naruto's apartment and how sick Naruto looks to be....excited to see where this goes!! :) Wicked Grin
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  • From arcticfox on November 16, 2010
    I friggen loved! The story! Buill be honest I hated the ending. Partly because It was the END and partly becouse it was kind of confusing. It should be re written honestly. But on the most part it was absolutely amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of reading it. And I hope to read some of your other stories.

    But this one most definitely deserves a sequel you can just end it where you did! I wanna know what happens next! I want an epic happy ending! To match an epic story!

    Yah anyways I really do love the story and for that you get 1 cookeez you get the second one when I see a sequel! Loovea yah!

    Now write godamnit! Lol
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  • From ANON - Saiou-chan on November 15, 2010
    Hey this was a good story! There are some spelling errors I think you should be aware of, but other then that, you did a pretty good job. I would not be opposed to a sequel, but I think this story won't be hurt if you decide not to do one.
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  • From hisoka on November 14, 2010
    ohh...so lovely glad sasuke finally told his brother to shove it and is taking his life be they reins.so glad they both didnt have to give up their lives to be happy,does this mean sasuke went back to his job at icha icha?too bad his parents dont support him well sasuke lost 2 people and gained a whole lot more(including a whole lot of orphans).well at least he has someone forever since he did already break hearts(like that sixteen year old boy).so loved this story and wouldnt mind a sequal but not pushing for one with bribes of cookies and time machines.its all up to you.forever support!!

    ~hisoka
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