Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for In the cold of space you find the heat of suns

By : mannahpierce

From ANON - Courtney on February 23, 2010
After reading your AN I had to reply to what Kat said. This is your story
and you can use any analogy you want to use this is a sci-fi story that means that a lot of guys are the dominant ones and guys don't use
gentle words like love-making or any other word but fucking. Most of us got what you were trying to say and got on with their lives hell all of us use fuck and have heard the word fuck it's a common thing to hear and say involing sex it implies that what is being done has a no strings attached.

Report Review
From ANON - XCrystalxXxRoseX on February 23, 2010
I think you should just stick to 'Fucking' as changing it now will just change the way the story flows as it is read. You should us words that you think will read well as if you change every word that offends someone then it will end up not being your story. I am really enjoying this story so far, looking forward to your next chapter.
Report Review
From Prism0467 on February 23, 2010
I personally have no issue with your gratuitous use of the word 'fuck'. Your intent translates adequately.

I don't need the glossary either.

I see you have segued via the use of the words 'cloning' and 'Kabuto'. Eek! I am mentally preparing myself. Unless I have written the fic, when the name Kabuto pops up, it is not a good thing.

I see your story writing itself and empathise. I was there once or twice. It was wonderful, if time consuming.

So...Shino loves Shikamaru. I suspected, but now that I've seen it in print...it's so sad. So unfair. *sighs*
Report Review
From ANON - Nivell on February 23, 2010
Forgot to say in my earlier review. I read the previous comments and while it is nice of you to consider your reviewer's suggestions, remember that this is your story and you may choose to do whatever you want with it. Jesus, just reading that person's expectations makes my blood boil. This is your world, you decide if you want het or more female characters in your story. Just a suggestion but it really irks me when authors try to cater to every whim that their fans give out. Girl, I've read your story from the beginning and I truly love it so please please please you already have loyal readers out there that love your creation the way it is.
Report Review
From ANON - Nivell on February 23, 2010
I like the word fuck. Though it may seem crude to some people, in reality, it is far much common in everyday life also. I use it, my friends use it, people I know use it, it's not a word to be shy about. Come on now, we're all adults here, that's why this story is hosted on aff.net! So please use the word 'fucking', 'fuck' or whatever profanities you wish to use. I'm expecting it, lol! Besides, for a fic that centers itself in a hardened space world with men dominating the field, you'd expect a rougher term to describe love-making. Love making..psh, that's for pansies! Love your story so much!
Report Review
From ANON - boo on February 23, 2010
Firking or Ferking...they sound kinda stupid...granted the original word is jarring however it also draws your attention immediately and focuses you mind to the current situation going on in the story..I'd stick to *Fuck*..it suits the story.
Report Review
From ANON - Chloe on February 23, 2010
i have been a constant reader, though a mute one. my comment is on your wording Q, i think it is fine with the word fuck. in my family it always means no strings sex so i caught your meaning right away. however if offends it would be ashame to lose readers of a wonderfully written and very "alive" story over one word. and you would not lose me with the 16c. words either (history buff) though i would be afraid you might confuse a less learned person. just my 2 cents. :)
Report Review
From Halskr on February 23, 2010
I dont think a glossary is necessary. You have given us e-machine, implant, drives, etc; and, it is enough. I dont really need a detailed description of it just the basic context in what it is used for. I have really enjoyed the last few chapters of this. I don't mind the language since the setting is pretty casual about sex the language fits. Thanks for writing and sharing this.
Report Review
From ANON - Kat on February 22, 2010
Hi! I love this fic, it is really very excellent. And I want to particularly stress how happy I am to see a very natural, well-written NaruSasuNaru. Your universe is very interesting, as well, but I would suggest changing your summary to include definitions of some terms in your universe, as well as an explicitly stated NaruSasuNaru, KakaIru warning.
Now, as far as the technical aspect is concerned , you serious should look into finding synonyms to the word 'fucking'. I can see Narut ususing it, but Iruka??? and Sasuke!!!??? During a formal introduction of a new crew member? Not possible. They could call in intercourse, intimate, services, sex-but not fucking. It is a vulgar word, and Both Sasuke and Iruka have to be fairly formal in a lot of instances. Another word that really needs a synonym is 'coping'. You use it far too frequently to mean things for which coping is not really an appropriate word choice. 'Dealing with something', 'being able to stand something', 'accomodating', 'getting used to' are a few choices you have got. Another little thing I want to point out in the spirit of sci-fi realism is having genes in one's blood (latest chapter). Blood can contain foreign cells or proteins. Proteins make more sense in your story. But blood does not contain genes.
The literary aspect of the fic earns you a lot of praise. It is original, new and in many ways great.
Future action that I am looking forward to includes the epic battle with Itachi. I also hope for a happy ending he did not get in the manage/anime. You mentioned a gene bank with frozen zygotes. I think Itachi deserves a second chance at life with a happy childhood and Kisame deserves a partner capable of love. And I am sure Iruka would love having a kid to raise and pamper. I also hope that the boys do wait longer than a standard before they themselves reproduce-just because the Uchiha organization needs to be completely re-fromed. There is reputation and respect to be re-established, enemies to control and finaces to secure. That takes years and fututre Uchiah heirs should hot be dumped on Iruka. It is considerably better than wet nurses, nannies and babysitters, but it isn't the same as having parents there for you.
Personally, I am also hankering for some het pairing development. There are very few solid fics that can combine slash romance with het romance, but I think you can do it and do it well. Seeing Jiraiya and Tsunade interact would be great. Also, I think it would be very in character - not to mention a great potential comic relief - if Jiraiya decided to cat on Tsunade's all-female ship for a division or two! Oh! and the possibilities with the crew on that ship. Please consider Temari,Tayuya and TenTen at least. On that note, given Rin's recent remark, will the household/crew ever be ready for a female cat? I personally think that Moegi and Konohamaru are fairly adorable together. Suigetsu and Karin are a scream as well. I will keep my fingers crossed that they will make an appearance!
In addition to action-whic I think you have got nice and brewing-I personally also place a lot of value in character development. So far, Ibiki is a dark horse - who is he, why is he so lonely, etc. I was also hoping you will consider rewarding him with a companion - Anko, maybe? She is one kick-ass addition to the Unchiha household. I admit that I think him falling for her and courting her might develop into the most entertaining mind game. the main point here is the midngame aspect, fo course. It could even turn int a romantic mystery. OOOh,the possibilities! Another flat character as of now is Shino. What is up with his red lipstick obsession and is it that, while he was surprising generous of a lover with Shikamaru, he was such a dick to Konohamaru, especially seeing how he never catted for anyone. What are his goal, his aspiration, his familial obligation and expectation? Are there some feelings or jealousy issues due to Shika and Neji's developing relationship? And speaking of Neji., I am dying t ohear his back story-the good, the bad and the ugly- and see how Shakamaru helps heal those scars and rehabilitate Neji. And how is Iruka feeling in light of Kakashi being reminded of Obito? Does he have any hagging insecurities? I also secretly hope to see Iruka holding his own to Kakashi in the bedroom. Mosty fics portray him as a perpetual uke. But I think that Iruka can be uncompromizing and manipulative. Guess I just think Iruka deserves some lovin' after being thought of as a woman by some snotty-nosed newcomers! Go Iruka!
Update soon!
~Kat
Report Review
From cynaga on February 21, 2010
This gets more incredible every chapter~! How do you do it? You weave a story like gossamar threads through the night...
Report Review
From Prism0467 on February 21, 2010
WFTH happened?!

In the blink of an eye everything changed! Wow! I can't wait to read the analysis of the boy's enhancement...

Thank you for updating so quickly. I am completely hooked on this story!
Report Review
From roro237 on February 21, 2010
OMG!!!! That was so intense!!! I loved every word!! WoW! The adding of Sumaru is crazy good:) I started reading this chapter setting back in my chair by the time I ended I was on the edge of the seat:) Yea Baby!!!!!! I can't wait to see how Naruto will react to this?! ^_^
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on February 21, 2010
I just wanted to say that I have read this story from the beginning and think it's a great combination of the Naruto characters and Sci- Fi. I also love the fact that you update so frequently. I look forward to more of the story.
Report Review
From arabuzumaki on February 21, 2010
I got a bit scared at the end of that chapter >.>
I hope to get more of this boy and his mom's story
Report Review
From ANON - boo on February 20, 2010
Could I adore this story anymore than I already do?? I love your cliffhanger... I can't wait to see who the boy is...my nerves are shot wondering about your original characters and if they are gonna be bothersome..and having "O" in the storyline freaks me out completely..so exciting...I can't wait for the next chapter and how wonderful of you to keep us updated like you do. My favorite story on AFN!!!!
Report Review