Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Questionable Loyalty

By : gingermaya

From satterb on May 05, 2009
OH MY GOD!!!! Congratulations! You got 100 reviews! I am anxiously awaiting what you've got coming up! I am loving how you're building up to it. Pure EFFIN genius! It's been nice to have a little reprieve from the angst, but I know it's got to get tough before it can get better. You had me chuckling when Kakashi questioned Pein about Kisame...I would have loved to know what was going through his head...Hahahaha! Thanks for all your hard work, I know how much blood, sweat and tears you put into your fics. Love ya girl! Beth
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From suzannecmc on May 04, 2009
ah a little hint of Konan, and is he using his friend Yahiko's body
like in the manga?

I like the oragami, it's very sweet:)
thank you.

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From ANON - Yuki on May 04, 2009
Good god, you make Kakashi suffer! I have no way of predicting how this is going to end- which I like, because normally I'm able to accurately predict how most ff writer's are going to end their stories.

Keep up the great work! =D
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From satterb on May 03, 2009
Oh! I wasn't expecting that. For Itachi to die. I feel so bad for Kakashi, Pein knows how difficult this is for him. It's all becoming so twisted and dangerous as well. But I expect nothing short of pure genious from you. As I've mentioned before, you have no qualms about taking your characters to the brink of the chasm and even then have been known to throw one or two off before you set it all to rights. It's probably easy to just wave your wand and make all the hurt go away, but that's not really what always happens is it? Love ya girl, and I miss you. I've been really busy with work lately, but I will contact you soon. Take care sweetie and keep on churning out the gold!
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From Ladyareku on May 01, 2009
This story is absolutely addicting to read. I love the way you have created an unlikely bond between the two characters of Kakashi and Pein that many don't interest themselves in properly. I just everything works out for Kakashi because if he does develop feelings for Iruka or Iruka finds the truth of his betrayl like with Mizuki all hell will ensue (which I will admit I would enjoy reading nevertheless xD)
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From satterb on April 28, 2009
Oh hell! What a gut wrenching, emotional blender Kakashi has himself in! This is tearing him apart. Itachi's emotional state has really become clearer now that you've given this insight into what Kakashi is going through as he finds himself betraying Konoha, Iruka and Minato's son. If he loses himself to the mission, it will tear his psyche apart. If he gets emotionally wrapped up in his portrayal of his feelings toward Iruka and Naruto, then that could destroy him as well. Looking forward to more of this part of the story, but would'nt mind a trip to the past in Kakashi's memory. Love ya - Beth
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From suzannecmc on April 28, 2009
I believe you mean pinched the "bridge" of his nose.
if he pinched the "base" he would suffocate!
now with that said...

Kakashi...oh what a tangled web we weave...
this is turning quite complicated!

thanks:)
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From ANON - Yuki on April 27, 2009
Apparently, parent's don't understand that being 18 under their roof doesn't mean you can still be grounded. =_=

I'm sorry I won't be able to give you really in-depth reviews for awhile.

However, I LOVE chapter 35. It was hilarious- and creative. =D
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From suzannecmc on April 27, 2009
you've got to adore this Naruto.
very true to character:)
poor Kakashi - he really will be emotionally shredded when he
realizes just how much he has in Konoha. I look forward to the heart to heart
between Kakashi and Naruto.
thank you:)
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From satterb on April 26, 2009
AHHH! Naruto! I love him. And you've got him very observant in this story. "Out of the mouths of babes" so to speak. HMMM. I loved it that he busted them making out. It was too funny. How akward. And Gai asking if Kakashi held feelings for him had me laughing out loud! Thanks for the update, and keep up the great work. I love you for all you do! Talk to you soon I hope, Beth
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From arabuzumaki on April 25, 2009
hmmm kashi has a tough road ahead of him. i can't wait for more.
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From satterb on April 25, 2009
It really squicks me to see Iruka try to be dominate to Kakashi! I know it's intergral to the story and all, but it's just so wrong. Kakashi belongs to Pein and I hate to see Iruka take what should be his to command. I see Kakashi's target has entered the picture now. I guess it won't be long before all hell breaks loose! It would be wonderful to be able to go back in time to Ame and just revel in the happiness Kakashi found there, but I know this has to go forward, and I really want to see how this plays out. Thanks for all your hard work! I can't wait to see what you have in store for us next. Later! - Beth
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From JackalNinja on April 22, 2009
Man-oh-man.

I am /THIS/ close to being grounded. If I do get grounded, and this website is blocked, then I'll just go around the block.

Unfortunately, 'going around the block' does not include allowing me to send postdata pages (like reviews, comments, posts, click to a new page, ect)

So if for some reason you've posted a new chapter and I have NOT reviewed, then simply assume I have been grounded until the end of time... or at least for another month and a half... again.

>_> how do I land myself in this much trouble?!
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From JackalNinja on April 21, 2009
And welcome Yuki, congrats on the account:)
Pein's versital, he bottomed for Kisame in one of the earlier chapters;)
---
Thank you. =D I might post stories of my own... once I finish writing my book, anyways, but at the rate it's going, that won't happen 'till... um... hm... (does math in head) I've been writing it for a year and a half and it's 53 chapters and over 450 pages... and I'm 1/3 of the way done with it. =_= At least I have an "editor" (a friend.)

And True, true. -nod nod- Pein DID bottom then...

But it's just still hard to IMAGINE. Sometimes you need words to do that for you. =O

But I really cannot imagine him bottoming for Kakashi, or Kakashi insiting on Topping, whichever would/could/theoretically come first.
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From JackalNinja on April 21, 2009
Well, actually, online, I normally pretend I'm a guy... so I go by all kinds of names. Covu, Viper, Yukimaru, Sora, Ren, etc etc etc. =O it's just that I get called "Yuki" as a nickname... (its not my real name. =_= but someday I WILL be a manga artist!)

And I guess it is just girls who read YAOI... I have yet to meet a guy (anywhere) who reads it.

Not that I try very hard. Or at all, it seems.

And, jeez, I almost got grounded from AFF.net. >_> I'm already grounded from FF.net. Right now, I'm on such a tight line... You how some people think tying a dog to the wall and placing a bone just out of reach will teach the dog not to go at it? Thats stupid. because blocking sites I like going to (fanfiction, for starters) is just going to make me try to break the chain even more.

Blegh.

SO! Onto the review...

I thought the pancake thing was funny, but also meaningful. Kakashi seems to keep going in and out of it, doesn't he? Things Iruka does collides with memories... (I honestly feel "Kisame" and "Pancakes" are the funniest possible combination of words possible. Ever.) And I though the mention of Kakashi being all but banned from kitchen appliances excluding the refridgerator was hilarious. Absolutely hilarious- I was laughing.

And the way you wrote Gai out- normally, it's when people try to write about Gai that I tend to balk, because they either write him as hyperactive, oblivious, stupid, and/or very badly. Mentioning Gai, even for a moment, is what usually seems to ruin most stories people write.

Instead, you did it as near-perfectly as is humanly possible! No useless ranting about "THE POWER OF YOUTH!" or randomly screaming, when it is obviously NOT the best thing to do: "MY DEAR ETERNAL RIVAL! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU HAVE FOUND TRUE LOVE AT LAST!" And then bring up some dumb "Find love in a week!" challenge. Trust me, it's so stupid that I often end up stopping because it's just /that/ repelling and repulsive. =D I bet even Kishimoto would be proud. (lol)

And the last sentence- the lightning bit- is a bit ironic, since Kakashi uses Raikiri/Chidori/Lightning Blade. But that was a good ending to the chapter, because I now have a really good idea of whats going on in his mind without you having to explicitly write everything at that one moment. Of course, we can now obviously deduce that he's feeling incredibly guilty, somewhat hypocritic, and probably a little confused as well as alone (I'm guessing he misses Pein even more, being stuck with Iruka now.)

Poor Iruka. I still can't wait to see how the rest of this plays out.

=D
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