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Reviews for Wakashudo

By : bob665
  • From ANON - Lil_lo on June 17, 2010
    I happened to adore the end. I read other reviewers thoughts and disagree with them on some points. You can tell by previous chapters

    1.)Naruto wasn't on the same page as Konohamaru. I think that you maybe summed everything up like you did because even though the story was told in a 3rd person narrative, things were majority seen from Naruto's view. I think that if you had went into depth with that we wouldn't have had Kono's thoughts and the only other way for him to express himself would have been for him to show trying to go to another level. That would have then showed them falling out when instead Naruto and Kono's friendship are in tact.

    2.)I think the theme of Wakashudo (breaking up when the younger partner was of age) went along with the theme of growing up. I might be biased in that even though you are a great scene writer I wasn't really comfortable with the sex scenes as in my own taste they were both kids (granted in the Narutoverse children regularly do things which are not childlike and on the whole make decisions that adult and real child wouldn't make. I think it's the imagery of children being together sexually, even consensually,that bothers me). However, I have to admit that they were needed in addition to the training to show why as Naruto approached things in canon he was matured for the sake of Konohamaru and that it honestly changed the story in one of the most satisfying AU moves I have ever read. I would trade this in for 20 Naruto gets a different sensei and now can defeat the world stories because you handled the parallels between Naruto and Kono like a pro, you still made it a ninja story with the added bonus of it not being a total recap of the anime and the growing up theme was so beautiful that I shoved my discomfort down a hole.

    3.) I love you for killing Sasuke like you did. You didn't bash him, he had dignity in his death,he really did it to himself, and I can smile thinking how much better the world turned out versus that pissball we call Shippuden.

    The only way I would ever want to see more is in a separate piece if you so deemed. I think that I was picking up signs of Mogei having a crush on Naruto, so I wonder if she would have picked up on hints of things maybe as she was older and really thought about the matter.


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  • From NarutoVixin on November 18, 2009
    wow umm that must have taken some real thought to come up with that but i loved it thank you so much and you just made it on my to watch list of people on here
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  • From Mario on September 22, 2009
    Hello, Small Fox. In case you don't know who I am, I'm the unworthy recipient of your consistent reviews of every chapter of "Pupil of the Serpent". Before I get into the actual content of this review, I'd like to take the opportunity to personally thank you once again for being such an ardent supporter of my story - you have no idea how much it is appreciated. As they say, one good turn deserves another, and I should have reviewed your story long before now. My only excuse for being so remiss is that I am not a regular reader of yaoi, and was unsure of how to approach a review of such a story. I think I know what I want to say now, so I'll get on with the review.

    You are an excellent writer - your characterization and understanding of the minds of children is worthy of more praise than I can express. With all sexual orientation preferences aside, I enjoyed this story simply because of the way the characters were portrayed. This is a rare occurence, and demonstrates a level of dedication and commitment to your writing that I admire and seek to emulate. The modification of the actual Naruto storyline was superbly done, and in some cases was just as believable as the real thing.

    My only "criticism" would be similar to those of a few others I've seen - I didn't like the ending. However, I see that many people enjoyed your ending, so you should interpret this as more of a personal preference issue than anything to do with your actual writing skills. As many people mentioned, the time-skip and subsequent termination of the characters' relationship seemed abrupt, and that threw me off. On the other hand, it was most definetely not what I was expecting, and perhaps that was what you were going for. In any case, it hardly takes anything away from the overall skill and design of this story.

    I think I've said all that I can say here. I wish you the best of luck in all your future writing endeavors, and I humbly beg you to continue to review my work.

    Yours,
    Repression
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  • From ANON - Willardlol on August 26, 2009
    Well I have to be honest, I'm dissapointed with the end. I don't mind that you changed the storyline of Naruto a bit, but you rushed through an entire arc, and then ended the story with no real resolution between the two characters. Hell, I was hoping for one last little sex scene or something, but no. I stopped reading as soon as it got to the 15 years later part. It just seemed to unimportant to the story after what I read. Good beginning, Great Middle, Awful ending. Hopefully your next story is better. -Willardlol
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 24, 2009
    I liked the fic, but the ending was poor, to me.

    Though, I'm biased. Seeing relationships end that way bugs me...:P


    Thanks for taking the time to write it.
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  • From serenagold on August 23, 2009
    Holy crap! You killed Sasuke!! lol

    I really enjoyed the ending to this story. It was entirely satisfying. Hell, if anyone knew killing Sasuke could have saved so many headaches then to hell with it! I say we just kill the bastard now! hehe

    I think the best thing about this story was the fact that Naruto's concern over Konohamaru really helped him to mature and make much wiser decisions during the course of the story. Such a different turn of events came about through different decision making. Its incredibly interesting.

    Keep up the good work! I look forward to what you come out with in the future.
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 23, 2009
    Aww, that's such a sad ending. Kind of quick, but good. I hope to see more writings from you soon.
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  • From ANON - Hitomi No Ryu on August 22, 2009
    The ending was awesome!

    THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS GREAT FIC WITH US!
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  • From ANON - Meikote on August 22, 2009
    Is this really the end of Wakashudo? Because, if it is, I'm really sadden by it. I don't want it to ever end. It's just that good.
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  • From serenagold on July 26, 2009
    Hmm.. Shikamaru could be trouble. Wheither or not he suspects anything will be based on Naruto's reaction, because, really, "Asuma had a date so he spent the night here," is a perfectly logical reason. lol.

    Keep up the good work!
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  • From serenagold on June 30, 2009
    Hmm.. I wonder what Asuma wants to talk about now...


    Keep up the great work!
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  • From ANON - Willardlol on June 27, 2009
    /Yum

    More pl0x
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  • From ladygizarme on June 27, 2009
    This isn't a pairing I normally read, but I finally got curious enough to check it out and I'm really enjoying it! You could use a lot of help from a beta editor, though--mostly with homonym confusion. Besides that, though, the story is really good and I like how you're still involving canon without describing the things we already know in too much detail. I wonder what Asuma is going to talk to Naruto about next...?
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  • From serenagold on June 12, 2009
    Not every chapter has to be smut. Im really enjoying this story.
    Keep up the good work!
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  • From kyuubifreak on May 29, 2009
    AWESOME STORY, i have ever read this type of parings before. keep it up
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