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Reviews for Bunny love

By : bloodyqueen
  • From tszuke on December 14, 2008
    Yummy!!!^^ I love this story, and I love NaruSasu!!!^^
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  • From goodluckbadtimes on November 27, 2008
    lol Sasuke in a bunny suit, funny but still damn sexy!
    the one shot was wow.... so intense and Sasuke makes one hot uke.
    i have such a fetish for Sasuke being tied up and being uke! lol
    this one shot practically had me drooling.
    it was really creative, hope you keep making more
    please do
    and Happy Thanksgiving***

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  • From ANON - Anon on November 24, 2008
    Hi ya, thanks for your review too, it's always nice to hear what people think.

    Err, I still spotted a few typos, eg. 'their' again, and I'm probably being picky but 'But' shouldn't begin a sentence, and I think you used a semi-colon incorrectly, lol. However aside from the 'their' thing which changes the meaning of the sentence the grammar isn't too big of a deal, a lot of authors mess with grammar to suit their purpose anyway, and the story has a lot of potential and as I said is rather good :)

    What I meant by my previous comment is the first half is rather dialogue heavy. You have a lot of speech but not much description, hence it reads a little like a script rather than a story, the reader has a lot left to imagintion such as facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, setting etc. all of which can totally change your meaning and interpretation. For example if Sasuke replied gruffly it's a lot different to replying sincerely, if Neji had his arms folded it gives a different impression to leaning back on a chair. Too much description I admit can be bad, but when there's none and only speech it sometimes doesn't work too well as the reader's left guessing on a lot of things.

    Sorry! I shouldn't really be leaving a mini-essay as a review, however I really do think you have a lot of potential with this story; it's uinque, a lot of effort has been put in, you really seem to try and get into the character's minds and it's enjoyable to read :) I really look forward to more works from you in future and seeing how your writing evolves, you have potential and I can't wait to see how you use it :)
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 23, 2008
    Good story - you had a couple of typos though, like with with 'their' it should have been 'there', the first meaning belonging to someone as in 'it's their house' and the second meaning a place, as in 'right there, Naruto' which I think was what was in the story, lol. You were also a bit heavy on dialogue and not a lot with description, but it was a nice read nonetheless.
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