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Reviews for Beyond the River’s Edge

By : dolphina23
  • From ItaNarulover on January 23, 2009
    Oh, shit! What a cliffy!
    You're evil, leaving it like that. *cries*
    But that was an amazing chapter, it really was. How Kakashi, Sasuke, Naruto and Obito behaved, even Kabuto. It was so realistic for an AU.
    And poor Naruto, who is that (excuse me for my use of words) bitch anyway? She is seriously pissig me off. First she claims she's his mother then she tells him she'll make him forget about someone and kiss him? What the? I'm so confused and anxious to read more.
    Good job! Can't wait for the next chapter.
    Keep up with the good work and good luck with the writing.
    Take care. Hugs
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  • From Ljiljana on January 22, 2009
    Yeah, I forgot to ask. About who?! :P

    Now, I'm sitting patiently and waiting Safe House. =D
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  • From blugirlami21 on January 21, 2009
    Didn't really see what you changed, there is still really no mention of what Minato had set up in the event of his unlikely departure from the world for Naruto, does he have a godparent? Is Kakashi really his legal guardian? If so there should have been more hoops for her to jump through to get Naruto into her custody. I also can't believe that Kakashi would allow Naruto to go somewhere with a complete stranger with at least not consulting with his lawyer about the validity of Sute and Kabuto's claims. It's clear from the end where she is going with this and I just think she was just a little to easily able to snatch such a well loved and protected child to do anything she wants with.

    I can see where you are going with Naruto and Sute and while it's true what Naruto will endure and the confusion that result from being molested and manipulated by someone you think to be your parent, it's also a little predictable. I think it would be a little more interesting and hurtful to Naruto in the long wrong if Sute weren't quite so transparent with her actions and her motives. She should build on her relationship with Naruto and her facade with Kakashi and everyone else before she starts trying to treat Naruto like a replacement for Minato.

    What will Naruto's reaction be? I think he is a little too old to be convinced by a complete stranger that it is ok for a mother to treat her son in this manner. His grief might cloud his judgement for a little while but it shouldn't for very long, Minato was very protective of Naruto and Naruto's thinking and behaviors should reflect that. Is she really his mother? If she isn't why isn't she more worried about what the DNA test will reveal? Something about this story rubs me the wrong and I guess that is kind of the point.

    I like this story but make it a little more believable in some parts, Naruto's custody being put into Sute's hands without any real proof is a major part and it's a little hard to swallow.
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  • From blugirlami21 on December 16, 2008
    I was waiting for something bad to happen and I was right. When things are going really great with Naruto, I just know that something terrible is going to happen. I'm sad that we couldn't keep Minato around for the duration, you did such a good job with his characterization. I find it interesting that nobody thought it was suspicious that Sute was the last person to see Minato alive especially Obito since he had an inkling that Minato didn't like her so much and I hope that they are going to do a paternity test before just handing Naruto over to some strange woman, who Naruto has never met or even ever heard of. You made it pretty clear that she wasn't Naruto's mother and didn't Minato have provisions in place in case something happened to him? He was an overprotective Dad, so that probably would been a huge priority for him. This is a very interesting story, I'm not quite sure where it's going but I'm looking forward to the journey.
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  • From Ljiljana on December 01, 2008
    Damn. Let's try this again.

    See? I told you I'd read it today! =D

    Okay, first, you said you've changed the first part, but the only thing I couldn't remember was Sasuke being Naruto's friend and that entire business/art thing.
    Hmm, I know nothing about horses, so I have no idea if you did the research or not, but it all sounded very convincing to me.

    Hehe, I have to say Sasuke reacted much better then I would on 'he was the one who knocked her out in the first place' because that was just disturbing. And, yeah, some tension already. =D Sasuke is mature. Not very IC with all the warm smiling but much more mature then Naruto.


    So, okay, she definitely reacted to Naruto. And he doesn't like her at all, even if there was nothing obviously repulsive at the first sight. I like it. Good intro into what is going to happen.

    I really like the opportunity to see Naruto while he is still happy and normal, his relationship with Minato and Kakashi, and the little bit about Sasuke was also satisfying. There was slightly too much in the stable part in my opinion, but that might be because I am extremely unfamiliar with the terminology, so I had to stop and check what's what too many times. And I look forward to the Minato's interaction with the woman I'm hoping you'll do next time. (Can't call her anything but 'woman' yet. :|)


    Okay, if I missed to comment on something and you want to know what I think about it, just ask. This is too long as it is.
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  • From ItaNarulover on November 22, 2008
    Awww.. This is so kawaii!!! A really adorable fic.
    It's quite different compared to The Fall of the Dogs of War, but they're both equally amazing. And it's easy to tell, from the style and all, that you're the writer ;P
    I really like how you described Minato. It's hard to portray him since you barely saw him in the anime and therefore never really got to know his personality that well. But I think that he really is/was like you've portrayed him, goofy yet loving.
    I also think that you made a good job with Naruto. A lot of authors fail to make a child behave like a child in a fic, if you know what I mean. They tend to make the child seem older, by for example, making the child speak with a too formal language or making it think like an adult. But you really manage to make Naruto seem like a seven-year-old. Because his launguage skills as well as thoughts are quite typical for children that age, I think... ;) It was very believable.
    Anyway...I like it a lot and I can't wait to read the next chapter.
    Keep up with the good work and good luck with the writing.
    and thanks for making awesome fics!
    Take care. Hugs
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  • From Ljiljana on November 20, 2008
    I have high hopes for this fic. And as we discussed it in length through e-mail, that is all I'm going to say, except - did I mention Naruto is absolutely adorable? =D
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