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Reviews for Highs and Lows

By : Jelp

From ANON - moodysavage on June 25, 2010
It grows on you...like reality TV. At first you're not sure you like it... but before you know it you really DO want to know all the little details. Chapter 1 had ALOT of information & I wasn't sure whether that would get in the way of getting to know and care about the characters. But now I do & I also look forward to the extra & personal information at the end. This story seems like it's done in real time and I must say I rather like it.
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From ANON - spiffycaptainJ on February 06, 2009
I love this story. It has completely caught my attention, and for the most part is still true to the characters, please keep up the good work, i am really looking foreward to reading more!!
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From Windchild on February 05, 2009
This is totally new and very interesting plot. I've read all of your stories and they're all wonderful, I love them very much. I haven't seen anything like this till now. Just few months back, my parents got to know they both have diabetics. Although several of my relatives has it but I'm always on the move and never got to know much about this. The things you explained, I found one of them match perfectly with my parents' current state. Thank you so much for sharing all these information in such a nice way. Please keep it up, I'm looking forward to see where this is going. By the way, I love Sasuke's inner thought of juicy juice! lol!

~Wind
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From Raelyn on February 04, 2009
I'm hypoglycemic, but not too bad, so I've got a vague understanding of the issues mentioned, though I don't often get worse than being dizzy and bitchy when I crash. So, it's really interesting reading this story that opens up a lot of information that I previously didn't know.

When you mentioned the saber I nearly squealed. I haven't fenced in years, and from the sound of it, twas a different style. During one of my practices, these two guys were fighting epee and one of them forgot which style he was using and ending up slashing a hit on the other guy's butt. hehe This chapter has brought up all kinds of happy memories.

Happily awaiting more updates!
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From dolphina23 on February 04, 2009
Okay, I wasn't going to comment again because I prefer to see if the author's style grows with the story and to see if they improve, even slightly, when there are issues with grammar or any other problems associated with the craft that can come up with a new piece. But, honestly, I'm very dissapointed. The little asides you put in at the end basically revealing that much of what you place in the plot is from your own life, almost verbatim at times, has basically turned the characters into versions of yourself rather than taking the characters from the manga and placing them in a unique situation that I would want to read. This is purely from an editorial/critique basis, by the way, before you get all offended. Either don't reveal that it is some story from your past, and let me continue thinking you actually thought that up on your own using your imagination, or use other possible instances that can illustrate the effects of diabetes and/or problems associated with it. While writing what you know generally infuses an air of realistic nature to the writing, basically using these characters to tell your autobiography, except for the interactions and reactions between Naruto and Sasuke as a burgeoning homosexual couple, has drastically lowered my expectations for an orginal, alternate-universe setting that started out with great promise. The dry, clinical medical explanations and terminology along with the repeated use of their status as diabetic not to mention using that word in particular, something we already know from the first few paragraphs of the story, all add to the gratingly lowered quality of the writing. I'm being brutally honest here, in hopes that you'll take a really honest look at the writing and improve it. That is, if you want it taken seriously later on. Just because this is fanfiction versus orignal doesn't mean it can't be taken as a very serious expression of great writing. I'll read on for a bit, hoping it does improve and that you are able to see some of this as an aide to help your writing and not some egregious insult to you, or the storyline, which it is not.
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From ZenithB on December 29, 2008
Wow...this is amazing. I love it!! Please update soon
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From hsosborne on December 08, 2008
love it, can't wait til the next chapter...and I wonder just what Kabuto did to loose his license
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From Blackwidina on December 08, 2008
Hi again! I was actually looking through your reviews (I'm interested by that stuff, because I know what kind of reviews I get, and I wonder about others), and I wanted to add a counterpoint to dolphina's review.

I can kind of get what she's saying about how sometimes things can seem a little rambly, but that was one of the things that actually caught my attention on this fic. I've read all or most of your other stuff-I know you can write in a very clear, concise manner. However, being as this is a fic in first person, the first chapter being NARUTO, I think it was perfect. When I write Naruto, that's actually very similar to the way I think he thinks. It's kind of got that ADHD feel to it. And it changed with his blood sugar, from the low, where he was kinda cranky, to medium, where he was his usual Naruto-y self, and it helped emphasize the effect of blood sugar on one's mood swings. Especially when the next chapter was Sasuke's, and he went on to demonstrate some of the extreme effects.

I can understand that personally, because while I'm not diabetic, as I said before, I have to be careful to make sure I eat something pretty often, or I get tired or nauseous or bitchy. Which . . . now that I'm thinking about it, actually makes me want to call my grandmother and ask her some questions, because it's been a problem for a while, but my mom wouldn't take me to the doctor unless I were dying . . . or possibly dead . . .

But I digress. What I simply meant to convey was that while Dolphina may have a point about the style of writing affecting its readability, I think it's actually a good point. Of course, if you choose to change styles or edit, that's entirely your choice, but I just wanted to let you know that I think that, being from Naruto's first person view, I think it fits nicely with Naruto's personality, and Sasuke is also well done, in my opinion. Take that as you will!

Ja ne! Dina
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From Blackwidina on December 08, 2008
Okay, I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm one of those weird people that thinks learning is the coolest thing in the world. I'd be a lifetime student if I could. I'm not diabetic-though Type II runs in my family, mostly in the older ones-but I love learning about *anything*, and right now, this fic is a font of incredibly interesting info. Add Naruto characters, and I'm totally in love. I especially love Tsunade.

And for the record, I took the blonde helicopter joke to work today. Freaking hilarious.

I can't wait until you update again!

-Dina
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From dolphina23 on December 07, 2008
Well, first off, I really like the premise of both Sasuke and Naruto being diabetic. Trust me when I say anyone with a modicum of intelligence could figure out part way through that you were probably diabetc. You knew too much and wreote those parts well. But, I hate the style you wrote in. It's fine to write in first person, definitely, many stories and books are done that way and using second person is inevitable for conversation. But, the rambling and almost no plot after the explanations of the disease was far too lnog. I understand you were trying to make a point about diabetics and how they can react when sugars are too low or too high, but you could cut this chapter in half, maybe a little less, and add a little more to the intro for Sasuke and maybe a descriton of the setting and it would be so much better. I have a friend in her late forties whose diabetic and have even been told I might be hypoglycemic since my sugars were 60 nearly two hours after eating and a lot of how she acts or reacts is here. I'm very excited about that part. Just watch the language you use when detailing and when expressing different points of view. By the way, it should never be necessary to give a heads up to a point of view change or to a flashback. I've never seen it in stories or novels before I started reading fanfiction. It should flow right out of the story. Also, many writers don't seem to realize this, but 'flashbacks' can be done in sentences interspered within the prose. Like, "Gary looked at me with chilling eyes and a scowl. His temper had gone so far that I knew what was coming. Though, he'd never before threatened me with a knife. Usually, it was onl his fists I had to contend with." That, right there, is a flashback detailing that the person had never seen 'Gary' angry enough to use a knife as well as telling the reader that he had violent tendecies before. This is a critique. You did ask for feedback.

My advice, take a really good look at the flow and the tone you're trying to set and try to avoid fragmenting your sentencing as if it was all someone's thoughts instead of someone relaying a story. It reads better that way and still gets people to understand that this is told in a certain person's point of view. I'm going to go through chapter two and maybe all this will have evened out because I realy like the premise, as I said, and hope it will grow into a great story versus a potentially great one. :)
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From ANON - Fayte on December 06, 2008
I really liked this chapter!! I was actually scared that you were going to discontinue this story (i don't know why though.. ^^;;)
Haha the last joke cracked me up XD Anyways so glad that you didn't!! I'm actually leanring alot from this story to so it's very awsome!
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From brook13baby13 on November 18, 2008
I have to thank you for posting this story. It helped a lot when I was talking to my grandma who is diabetic (I didn't know! That she had it!) She had a machine 'Beeze2' (It think that what it's called?) She showed in how to use it and everything. Then I asked her if my other grandma had Diabetes. She said 'yes' (She dead.)So it kinda runs in my family...Just my two grandma has it nobody else but it can always skip a generation.

Update so I can learn more!
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From ANON - jewel on September 30, 2008
It's kind of scary. I didn't know much about diabetics but this summer we had a guy going around a pilot car on a road construction site. He struck and killed one of the workers. He had absolutely no memory of the last few hours of his life. At first a lot of people couldn't believe it but one of the local doctors was explaining diabetes and the side affects. He also said that most newly diagnoised could just tell if the blood sugar was out of wack but that someone who had had diabetes for a long time might have a harder time. I talked to a friend of mine about it and what your discribing is almost exactly like his. Like I said scary.
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From TheSimi on September 30, 2008
Um...this is the same review as the one I left at FF.net because I'm lazy that way. I really adore this story though...

It�s interesting that you�re changing POV�s in this story and it was really nice to hear (read) Sasuke�s story. He has a bit of a weird family! Even though you�re good at monitoring your blood sugar and handle your diabetes you could still need help and support.

Poor Sasuke, it must be so scary to wake up to such low blood sugar. I understand the feeling if helplessness he get when he does all that he�s suppose to and it still doesn�t work. It must be so frustrating.

Aww Sasuke, he�s not a failure and I�m very, very happy that he didn�t go through with his suicide. No matter how dark your world gets there�s always some light somewhere and I�m hoping that Sasuke will find his�

The meeting between Naruto and Sasuke was great and I do think that they can help each other.

As I said last chapter I�m really impressed with the way you include medical and technical terms in your story without clogging your readers brain, instead you make everything easy to understand.

Thank you so much for a wonderful chapter and I can�t wait to read more!

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From ANON - Nanin on September 09, 2008
This is a very interesting situation/scenery for both of them.
I'm already jumpy about the next chapter.
Can't wait!
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