Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Eyes of Clouds and Shadows

By : ShikaNejiLover
  • From smint45 on April 14, 2010
    Absoloutly wonderful story!!! I totally love this pairing!!!
    Report Review

  • From PrplGrl on October 22, 2008
    I must say that wasn't a bad start. If you don't mind some constructive criticism from me, I'll give some advice. :)
    The first half of the story was really good; you grasped the emotions and situations of both Shikamaru and Neji very well. I might suggest though (whether you have a beta or not) is that you reread the story aloud to yourself once you finish it. It's a technique that should help you catch some grammatical issues, like the usage of the same word too many times. For example, you used "obsession" three times in four or five following sentences. It's something I try to avoid because it starts sounding too repetitive and may irritate the reader, in the "I get the point" kind of way. You did this a few times, but nothing to panic over; this is all about increasing your skill, after all! :)
    The second half of the story seemed a bit forced or, perhaps, extremely fast, like you wanted to end the story quickly. It wasn't even the entire section, more like right after you wrote about Shikamaru and Neji's feelings immediately following their first night together. Again, nothing to freak out about, just remember to try and keep your pacing as constant as possible. Yes, there will be times when one scene goes by faster than another, but in this context it didn't really fit the criteria of the story. With the beginning long, drawn out and detailed, the ending kind of seemed like a quick-fix or something, but again just my own little opinion.
    Overall, your spelling and grammer were very good; even I skim over one or three small spelling errors from time to time. I know it's something you catch later and start beating yourself up for not seeing it before you posted. ;)
    So, in conclusion, you did a very good job; I'd give you four and a half stars!! Don't give up and please don't let my list of things deter you from writing!! You did ask from the readers what you could do to improve your next story and lucky for you I felt like giving out advice! :P
    Again, keep up the good work and I hope to read another story from you soon!

    Luv,
    Prpl Grl
    Report Review

  • From Infek on September 03, 2008
    You did an excellent job on these two ShikaNeji stories. I'll be looking forward to seeing more of you.

    Perhaps the only minor point is that at times, the story seemed a bit rushed, just briefly explaining a situation that is the sole reason of why they turned out that way.But I do add that that is my opinion and that others could very easily attest to the opposite.
    Meh, you wanted comments.
    Report Review

  • From Prism0467 on September 03, 2008
    Long live ShikaNejiShika!
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!