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Reviews for Last Name

By : Nephele
  • From moor on November 07, 2010
    Oh, I'm so sorry this looks abandoned! (I just checked your profile -- no updates since 2008... :( )
    Just wanted to thank you for sharing "Last Name", I like the set-up and humour, and it did have me laughing at times, too.

    If you ever need/ want a beta, drop me a line. I'd be happy to help. ^_^b
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  • From moor on November 07, 2010
    Ooh, neat set-up! :D
    I like this. (And I really like the higher standard of language you're using.)
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  • From MistressDragonFlame on July 24, 2009
    I really like this story, and would offer my services as a beta, but 1) I'm leaving for boot camp in ten days and 2) my current computer is shit ( I'm using my iPhone right now).

    So I will merely settle to wait for another chapter. :D
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  • From tenshiama on August 29, 2008
    gd story diffrent from wot i normaly read keep up the gd work n plz update soon
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  • From Ladylara on July 04, 2008
    wow, I am really enjoying your story. I love the plot and the beautiful way you write. I cant wait to watch the story develope.
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  • From Ryokitty on June 07, 2008
    Ooh... this is actually quite interesting. I do hope that you'll be adding another chapter soon. :)
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  • From rxtechgirl on June 07, 2008
    I know what you mean about rereading and finding glaring mistakes. I've been spelling sasuke wrong. A review pointed it out to me. But anyway, keep up the good work.
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  • From dragonflyelj on June 06, 2008
    You know, none of us is in this to be professional. You do well enough without a beta - although they can be nice to have.

    Thanks for the comment, I was actually worried that you took my initial review the wrong way. I like to give my honest opinion to people - as you mentioned, if people only tell you how great your story is, there is no way to improve. I truly believe that.

    This chapter, I noticed that you used a great variety in your wording and was pleased to note that it was all in proper context. (do you know how rare a find that is in fanfiction?) I was itching for a bit more Ita/Saku action in this chapter, but I understand that you needed to do some setting up for it, so I am GREATLY looking forward to the next chapter. Until the next update!
    Tsukashi
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  • From rxtechgirl on May 29, 2008
    yay! Another chapter, update soon pleaseeeeee!
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  • From dragonflyelj on May 28, 2008
    Wah! There's no more to read! You MUST update soon! In this third chapter, I found myself completely hooked. I want to know why? I also want to know what the tradition is. You have an excellent way of building suspense. Overall, this is one of the better Ita/Saku stories out there. Kudo's - and update soon!
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  • From dragonflyelj on May 28, 2008
    Ok, just read chapter 2, and you make it a lot more believable in chapter 2, with his laughter. I am VERY curious about WHY. Can't wait to read more!

    The part with Tsunade got a little chuckle, the part with Shizune made me outright laugh. Kudo's!
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  • From dragonflyelj on May 28, 2008
    Only read chapter 1 so far. I'm REALLY liking this story so far. You have very good writing skills, which in and of itself is hard to find. Let alone finding that in a het story, and then one which features my favorite pairing of all time Ita/Saku.

    I have one point of constructive criticism: it isn't believable. I know, you're probably saying to yourself, they're fucking cartoon characters! or something like that, but hear me out. I think there should be some build up or some catalyst as to WHY it would happen. It is very OOC for Itachi to just snatch a random chick or Sakura - if he knew who she was - and marry her. So you have to make me believe that he would do that. (by me I mean your reader, not ME in particular) It is possible that you will reveal his reasoning in a later chapter, but it detracts from this first chapter, so you may want to do a foreshadowing of some sort to make it a little more realistic to what his character would do.

    I know how sensitive we writers are on a whole - myself included - so I am not trying to discourage you by any means. As a matter of fact, with the calibre of your writing, you have the potential to be one of the better Ita/Saku writers, which the fandom is so badly in need of. I look forward to reading more.
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  • From xXkuronekoXx on May 27, 2008
    Wow, this is one of the best stories I've read in a long time! Keep up the good work :) ja ne
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  • From KogasAngel on May 24, 2008
    I came upon this fic, and since I'm such a fool for Itachi, I had to take a peek, and I am so glad that I did. This fic has me wanting to read the next chapter and I can't wait to see what happens next. Great job!!!!
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  • From rxtechgirl on May 24, 2008
    I really am liking the pairing of Sakura and Itachi. I've never been a big fan of Sauske and her being together. Even though I did write a fic based on a SakaXSaus pairing. LOL Update soon!
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