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Reviews for Original Sin

By : Shiruy
  • From DetoxAngel on June 04, 2008
    I read your post, you bet your ass I came back! You're MY hero! I hope there's more where this came from, glad you liked my fics, still haven't gotten to your request, but I should, huh? Coming out with some hot Naruto(don't know if you read Three's Company)fics soon, hope you read them. This story went from perfect to ineffable(sp?) I just don't know what else to say. I'll be keeping tabs on your progress and my email address is sondarmah@aol.com. I love your portrayal of Minato, he'd be just like that and sometimes I do wish Naruto did grow up that way, all the same, I hope you continue as soon as you can, I'll be glad to wait on you. If not, I'll be looking forward to any other fics you have coming out, if you do. You're awesome! Ja'ne!
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  • From blueh on June 03, 2008
    Yeap! I love it! My first MinaNaru and I'm glad I read yours!
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  • From snnj11220 on June 03, 2008
    This chapter was pretty yummy and hot. I loved Naruto's flirtatious behavior and of course Minato can do know wrong. Although he really should stop thinking so hard and just feel. Looking forward to the next chapter.
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  • From calicalicali on June 03, 2008
    I think I died a little reading this, and in a good way. SO FREAKING HOT. Your writing is excellent - it flows nicely, with just enough description without bogging the reader down in unneeded details. I can easily picture everything in my mind as I read. And it's HOT. Have I mentioned it's HOT? In other words, I think I love you. ;)


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  • From Nikana on June 02, 2008
    Now!really! O_o this wasnt your first lemmon!no kidding!and this second chap was OMG! hotttttt!with a capital H...so,I thought the first chap was a sort of one shot,but please now that you added another,do continue it,its just very good.I mean there arent many fics depicting Min/naru,mainly because one of them is ...you know,kind of dead but your story(because I can see a plot!!!) its ¡whao!and hat says all^^silly me!
    hope u good
    bye
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  • From snnj11220 on May 17, 2008
    I absolutely loved this. This has always been one of my favorite pairings although its rare to see it come up in fanfiction. I found this to be well written and perfect. It wasn't too angsty, had just the right play of emotions and the lemon was so hot!
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  • From antimatterannihilation on May 14, 2008
    oh i like it hehehe
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  • From Nikana on May 14, 2008
    hey! why dont you make this a long story? i mean if you want of course,but its really good you may as well try it out. I also read your other stories at fanfic dot net and they are pretty good too, so...hope you make this one longer,even if its ths bestone shot i've read of Min/Naru in a long, long time
    ja ne!^^
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  • From ANON - Anon on May 14, 2008
    Though I have to admit I was freaked out the whole time that someone would hear and they'd be caught XD

    *sighs* I'm just too much of a worry-wart
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  • From ANON - Anon on May 14, 2008
    I adore it.


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  • From narugal101 on May 07, 2008
    I would like to just take this moment to say...damn. I never ever review but after a fic like this I felt compelled to do so. Without a doubt one of the best fics I have ever read. I still can't believe this is your first lemon. That was beyond hot, we're talking serious gushing bloody action from the nose area. I have never read any fics pertaining to this pairing so yet another great idea you have had. If I had a hat it would go off to you.
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  • From Zrina on May 07, 2008
    great story! I loved the interaction between the two and the way you built things up. And, of course, the smex was HOT!!! Just to let you know to do italics and bold on aff you need to put < i> without the space in front of the word and < /i> behind it... bold works the same way but with a "b" instead of the "i". I had the same problem when I first started posting here, so I can sympathize.

    Anyway, awesome PWP. Extremely drool-worthy!! XD
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  • From DetoxAngel on May 07, 2008
    And just when I thought I found the perfect story, something like this pops up! This was, in all honesty, the hottest thing my eyes have ever seen! I thought I would die at some parts! God, I thought nobody would ever do a Minato/Naruto. This was perfect and so sinuosly hot, I can't believe words can be so sexy. And the things I envisioned, oh I'm sure my peverted thoughts were the accompanying movie to this story. It was so detailed and long, and great and...I don't know how else to describe it. Just perfect. It would be nice if you jumped on the Mina/Naru bandwagon and made this pairing your signature pairing because no one else writes this. With talent like this, you would be God.
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  • From lefthandwrite on May 07, 2008
    WAAA! gowd i like uzumakicest. yessss. you have good smut talent. =]
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  • From Elli on May 06, 2008
    I've never really considered Minato/Naruto as a viable pairing before, not because of the incest (we yaoi fangirls tend to eat most taboo topics like cheesecake) but because there was no foundation whatsoever. And I don't mean a foundation of the sexual sort, I mean any sort of relationship at all, since Minato and Naruto never really had a chance to bond. Not only that but the fact that it's hard to characterize how Minato would act with Naruto and vice versa since we're not given even an inkling of that in the manga.

    That being said, I thought you did a wonderful job portraying a could-have-been. Sure, a could-have-been that could-have-only-ever-occurred-in-fanfiction, but a solid one nevertheless. At first I didn't think it could really be classified as anything but a PWP (and it would've made a damn good one regardless) but I think you might have something in there worth continuing. I thought the dialog exchange between the two - both father/son and lovers was spot on... at least to how I see it in my mind.

    As for your writing itself, length wise, I adored it. You drew the lemon out the way its meant to be done without getting too technical - you didn't describe ever single twitch of their hand/cock/pancreas (what? it's been done before, don't look at me like that!) but you gave enough powerful imagery that I could visualize it without a second thought.

    ...in other words, it was HOT.

    The flow of the entire fic was smooth and unhurried, and I loved that about it. You gave us time to sink into the story and the characterizations before making us all hot and bothered (and may I add you did that *quite* well) and I really appreciate that, along with the fact that you actually took the time to write an honest to god DECENT piece of fiction. That's something that is damn hard to find these days.

    I enjoyed reading and the fact that I almost never review should tell you just how much. :D

    I look forward to seeing more from you, whether it be a continuation of this story (I would LOVE that) or anything else you could think to write up.

    Much love,

    Ella
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