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Reviews for The Truth Revealed

By : Shadowfox32459
  • From serenagold on December 10, 2007
    This is an interesting story and there are a lot of good ideas within it, but it needs some serious editing and grammatical work. The story is also a little stiff. I would have liked to have seen a little more depth into the characters. And the Naruto sex lecture was just plain strange.

    Overall, you've done a good job, and with a little development you could have a well written story on your hands. Keep up the good work. ^^
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  • From Mangafreak on December 06, 2007
    the plot is good and i love the pairings but your grammar need work
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  • From BlazinAtsuma on December 06, 2007
    Nice update.. So what is going to happen to Sasuke. I know those two want him back in Konoha but what would they put him through before they accept him back completely
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  • From killjoevolume1 on December 05, 2007
    I'm loving the concept right now, but please put quotations where there's dialoge, it would make things much easier, but for now, keep up the good work
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  • From bladeknight88 on December 05, 2007
    Commas and quotation marks are your friends.
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  • From BlazinAtsuma on December 05, 2007
    Well I don't know about the fourth having two kids but who knows.... And if Naruto is one of the fourths kid then who is his mother... If Takamichi's mother passed after having him... The only thing that I didn't like was the sentencing and the way you put words that didn't go together all that well... But keep on writing it is very good.. But I don't think Konohamoru and Hanabi should be doingany of that yet anyways...
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  • From kagehoshi on December 04, 2007
    @_@ Where's the punctuation? I can't get through this if makes my head hurt. Get someone to read and correct this please and add some quotation marks PLEASE!
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  • From Coldstone on December 04, 2007
    Oh no. In my opinion it is far from "sucking".

    I'm eager to read more. But one request. Please try to mark direct Speech, thoughts and story with some tags. Sometimes it is hard to follow.

    Otherwise it is a very good 1st chapter.

    I wan't to read more of this.
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