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Reviews for Byakykon's wind

By : Aldreal
  • From AngelOfYourDarkestDreams on November 23, 2007
    Heir of Byakykon?! Who are you trying to kid here? Neji and Hinata are the only heirs of Byakykon not your silly little Mary-Sue. Oh and people who do inherit the byakyon have pale purple eyes NOT green! What was that attack on the village all about? You gave no reason for it, in fact this story doesn't have a plot full stop, it makes no sense! Ever heard of a thing called quotation marks? They look like this: " " they are generally used when people are speaking so try using them. You might want to try breaking your story up into paragraphs too as one big block of words (Or two in your case) and poor punctuation makes this story an eyesore to read as does your Mary-Sue. Try to make a story and a character that actually make sense instead churning out a standard Sue fic, seriously people want to read about the actual characters not some overhyped, magical pretty girl. Bear that in mind next time you feel the need to subject people to this garbage.
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