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Reviews for Trainer

By : Inigeshi
  • From ANON - Taku on April 24, 2008
    I like your story, and I feel the same about writin habits. And as for thsecond to last thing you said... THANK YOU! I've been telling people that for fucing ever!
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  • From DragonMan220 on April 23, 2008
    Well, if you need another girl I suggest Naruto occasionally enjoy being in Sexy no Jutsu form as Naruko and playing with Hinata to help her break in the other girls. It would be a big blow to their pride if Naruto can make a better kunoichi than them. Plus, Hinata likes Naruto and probably wouldn't mind.
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  • From MisaRay on April 23, 2008
    I'm very much enjoying your story and can't believe that anyone would be stupid enough to flame it. Ya, don't let those people rush you and your writing. The creative mind is a process and rushing it doesn't let you write as well as you would've hoped. Love the story, and I can't wait to read more when you do post :)
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  • From bimorgan on April 12, 2008
    i know it wasnt waterworks wich is something i really dont like but ino peeing herself was a bit of an unsettling scene but other than that i love the story and i cant wait to read the rest
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  • From on March 31, 2008
    good job, cant wait for an update.
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  • From Cortman on March 04, 2008
    Sorry it’s taken me so long to review. When it’s something significant like this you tend to put things off, you know? __

    Excuse me if you find such a long and detailed review but you said you liked my encouragement and I want you to write more so:

    I LOVED this chapter. All I could hope for. I was a little worried you’d be doing watersports at the start but my fears were allayed. Great job.

    I liked:

    - Orgasm denial for Ino and to a lesser extent Neji (But of course writing this maybe your strongest suite as well as a cornerstone of BDSM). Excellent way to start the smut.

    - The quality and consistency with which you write you Dominant Hinata and Submissive Neji characters

    - Hinata having her slaves wander around the house nekkid is a lovely idea (Who wouldn’t want that?)

    - I love nudity but with highlights: Ino nekkid but with a collar (Love collars) and a bell on it (Love that idea) and Neji with nothing but a cock ring (Well, strap)

    - Changing character’s appearance is good too i.e. changing Ino’s hairstyle and oiling her up. I can even smell the lavender :3

    - Hinata cleaning her pets: Washing fun is always sexy plus it cements Hinata’s dominance (While also beign caring) plus it allows her to get to know those bodies (they are now her’s afterall >3)

    - Lovely visual: Ino and Neji kneel and facing each other in a submissive and revealing position while they sweaty away

    - Hinata counting up punishments (Which were kind of impossible to avoid in the first place)

    - Keeping Ino in a locked room (more control)

    - Listed appraisal of Ino’s body by Hinata (Godo description though I’d say Ino’s breasts were more of a C than a B)

    That said, a few small criticisms:

    - Hinata washes Ino’s hair but she never actually puts water on her

    - I assume Hinata braids Ino’s hair with the purple ribbon but you never actually say so…

    - While I don’t want to jump on your artistry try not to go overboard with this “Neglect by parents business.” It’s sooo none-canon, distracts from the fun and I’m not sure I like the “Abused child find approval in BDSM” idea

    Still, great stuff. Of the many authors on here or FF.net or any other erotica site you’re certainly top tier. Hell, most professional erotica is inferior to this.

    The future: I don’t want to suggest lots of ideas for fear of corrupting your writing. You do what you want. It’s your story. (Though if you ask I can always provide ideas maybe…)

    - Sakura is up next chapter I assume. Treat her well, she’s my fave character.

    - Keep up the smut. Chapters without it feel like filler (Though you can get aroudn this by releasing none-smut chapters at the same time as smut ones)

    - Don’t limit yourself to ten chapters… this fic deserves to go on and on…

    - Don’t overdo the angst

    - Don’t have Ino and Sakura collapse into submissivedom straight away. A little resistance and reluctance is fun and you have six months of in-story time (And beyond) to play with.

    - This is a BDSM yuri-fic. Keep the boys out of it. Neji is a total exception to this. Gaara is not. If you need to write Yaoi or Het urgently then write it in another fic. That said, Sexy No Jutsu is fun for boys 8D

    I think that’s everything…

    NOW GET WRITING!
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  • From ANON - ^^ on February 24, 2008
    Loving the lashes ;p
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  • From Ladylara on February 23, 2008
    Wow, that was amazing. I am thoroughly enjoying your story. It is very unique and intriguing. Cant wait for more.
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  • From UzumakiIno on February 23, 2008
    Ino's chapter was sexy. Keep it coming.
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  • From Cortman on February 19, 2008
    Well, you finally forced me too it.

    I registered just so I can review this story BEGGING you for updates

    BEG I SAY!

    Your Oranges, Strawberry and Lemon Juice stories are excellent.

    My heart soared when I saw you were writing a Yuri fic. Yuri is rare enough. But a BDSM fic? With Sakura, Ino and Hinata? Written by an author who knows what they're doing? That's the stuff of the smut Gods.

    So please please please update this potentially epic fic with some smut! ^____^
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  • From littlecutie10567 on February 16, 2008
    Oooh I like it..You should update soon!
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  • From ANON - Kayaka03 on February 04, 2008
    Awesome story, I want more.
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  • From EddieTheLightbringer on January 02, 2008
    Finally an update to chapter 2! I like where you're going with this and so far I'm looking forward to what you have in store next =)
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  • From uberleettehpwnzor on December 14, 2007
    i like where this story is going, please update soon? thanks!
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  • From Chocolat on December 14, 2007
    Seems cool so far. Write more soon.
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