Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Territorial

By : Hedder

From ANON - Timberfox on February 06, 2008
I love the pairing and the story. There's a nice blend of lust and humor mixed into the story. I liked the part with Pakkun noting that he's a top. Alpha!Kiba is hot and I'm glad that Iruka took the initiative with the collar. Hopefully, they'll be able to get together without killing each other (lol). I also like Hana, Tsume, and Akamaru's helping hands even if Tsume's helping hand often forms a punch for Kiba. I'm lookng forward to seeing how Raidou will impact the couple in the future. Genma/Kakashi is an interesting side pairing.
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From Gingitsune32 on February 06, 2008
I just saw that nasty email that someone had sent to you. Go Dominic Shade for saying what needs to be said. I can't understand these people who feel the need to 'correct' an author's pairing. If you have a certain liking, then go read fics with that pairing or better yet, write your own! Personally, this is a pairing that is different for me, I personally like KakaxIru best. But this plot speaks to me. :D Good stories are good stories and I can appreciate that. In fact, you got hooked on this story! :D Just hang in there. There are always going to be stupid, bigoted people but YOU can choose your reactions towards them. Have a happy day! :D
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From Gingitsune32 on February 06, 2008
Finally!!!!! Wow! At least they are starting to get somewhere! Go Iruka. Haha if we leave it to Kiba, we'll be waiting forever! Can't wait for the next chapter to see how Kiba is going to reconcile his feelings toward Iruka. Great job on this story!
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From ANON - reri on January 27, 2008
I know you are probably busy, but i just wanted to say i love "territorial". =) I like Kiba and Iruka together!
I can't wait to read future chapters to find out what happens to these two hot couple. I hope you update soon!

your fan,
reri

ps. sorry if i sound like im hurrying you to write the chapters, im not. please dont take me the wrong way! =)

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From ANON - Alondra on January 26, 2008
I'm loving this story! Please update! I want more!
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From Nickname on January 25, 2008
I really do hope you continue this story. At the moment, it looks like you've given up on it, which is a real shame.

Also, regarding this flamer:
I have no idea who this narufan4eva88 person is. However, I completely agree with everything Dominic Shade has said. Every 'suggestion' given by narufan4eva88 was complete and utter crack. Don't let narufan get to you! You're an extremely talented author with a brilliant idea!

Here's hoping that you continue,
~ PenPal
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From drivven on January 01, 2008
That was truly amazing. I loved it. Will we be seeing more soon? I have never seen this pairing before and you have done it all so well and with such imagination! More please!
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From NekoIzumi on December 08, 2007
What can I possibly say that you havent heard before? Uhm... not much. Maybe except that your writing skills are awesome.
I get these highly annoying giggleattacks whenever I think about this fic and I think about it a lot. ... I dont do giggles.
Did that give you a hint of my personality? Well, its the truth. Either way... I patiently await your next update and please keep up
the good work. Hopefully the two morons will cave in soon.
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From Princessdragonsbane on November 24, 2007
I can't believe that bastard would say such terrible about your beautiful story. I agree whole heartedly with Dom. I have enjoyed your story for the first paragraph the the most resent. I think the attraction between Iruka and Kiba is sweet, they both realize they is a age difference and have there inner battles with it. I think you have covered this story very well, and what the hell it's your right as a fanfic author to write what make you happy, not what make that 'chicken shit' who wrote you that e-mail get off. I love your story and I thank you for sharing it with all of us. Anyhow read ya later here or at y gallery were I'm Dragonsbane. Lot of love and encouragement to you.
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From ANON - KaraQ on November 24, 2007
It just keeps getting better and better. XD More please! *Dangles a bone over your head* Be a good girl, and write some more. ^^

~KaraQ
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From tovah on November 24, 2007
I agree that review was uncalled for. I think the most important thing about any fic is if it is entertaining or not. I happen to find yours to be very much fun and entertaining. I look forward to more chapters, so keep writing despite what this jerk had to say.
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From llyoung on November 24, 2007
I agree with Dominic Shade (she expresses herself alot better than I ever could).

I love your story and I'm always very happy when I see a new chapter. Thanks for writing and sharing your work with us.
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From Glenndolyn on November 24, 2007
Dear narufan4eva88@gmail.com (who created an email account solely to flame this writer personally and then deleted it so she couldn�t get what she deserved),

You suck at life and all it offers. Let me explain to you why. Oh, first of all, to those who think I might just be acting a bitch let me show you the email this idiot sent the writer of this fict, Hedder�

"I read (1)you�re story on Adult Fanfiction and wanted to
tell you how completely and (2)utterly disgusting it is.
How the hell can you write something about Kiba and
Iruka?!?!?! Iruka is like (3)15 or something years
older!!!seriously! I can�t get over that fact that
someone would actually write about (4)Iruka being with
one of his students. Gross. (5)Why would he when he could
easily be with someone his own age. You should change
it to (6)Kiba and Naruto so it would be worth reading.
Not to mention believable

I would also like to point out that you have some
(7)grammatical errors. (8)�chuunin� is spelled �chunin� and
�jounin� is spelled �Jonin� It seems like you break up
the dialogue into single lines just to make your
chapters look longer. Stupid and annoying. (9)The dog
attributes you gave to Kiba are all wrong. They can�t
control the smells they put out and they can�t mark
people as you obviously made up

(10)Akamaru�s personality is also all wrong

I feel sorry for the people that get tricked into
reading your story. It�s a complete waste of time and
space. (11)I surprised more people haven�t complained
about it. I�m sorry to have to break it down like this
for you but someone HAD to do it. (12)Just do yourself a
favor and save us all a lot of time and hit �delete� "

heres another one I got on AFF

"ugh at first i thought this was a kiba/naru story,
please put that its an kiba/iruka story in the
summary, *shudder* did not need to get that picture in
my head" from Pics Pixie.

Okay. Did everyone get that? Good. Now, if you�re still reading this, then get out your pencils and notebooks, because you�re about to be schooled.

1. �you�re� is different than �your�. We should all go out of our way to learn this. Break it down. �You�re� = �you� �are� Easy? Yay. We�re growing.

2. utterly disgusting�wow. Let�s just skip over the part where this is only �your� (notice my grammar here) opinion and get straight to the point where it is the author�s right to make a fiction about whatever she feels strongly about. To say you find it utterly disgusting is juvenile and really, just shows poor judgment on your part.

3. Ten years. If �you�re� (again, notice my grammar) going to flame with �facts�, then at least get them right.

4. Iruka being with one of his students�there�s actually a very large fan base for it, case and point, NaruIru. She shoots. She scores. I win.

5. when he could easily be with someone his own age�okay, ignoring the fact that not many in the anime are Iruka�s age (who aren�t dead or female; most the jounin have a good 4 + years on him ), let me just reveal something to you�lean in now, it�s a secret�most people can�t control who they love. I know. Mind fuck right? Yeah. Get over it.

6. you should change it to Kiba and Naruto�.again. Just wow. Obviously you clicked on the wrong fict. Yet you kept reading. It�s like you�re (everyone taking notes on my grammar? This time I mean �you� �were�) just begging to live out your (oh, I switched it up!) masochistic fantasies. By the first chapter, you should know who you�re (and again!) dealing with as a pairing. Notice that �back� button? Yeah. So did everyone else who didn�t like this couple.

7. you have some grammatical errors�.now, I�m not going to touch this one, I just wanted you to know that I saw the humor in it.

8. Actually, Hedder was right in how she spelled it. �Chunin� is the American fangirl way to spell it. Do your research.

9. Yeah. In real life people can�t control the pheromones they put out. They also can�t summon giant king toads either.

10. Akamaru�s personality is also all wrong�right. Never mind that there�s always the little �artistic privilege�, but Akamaru doesn�t have a staple personality that anyone knows of. Do you know why? Because no one speaks Dog you idiot.

11. I�m surprised more people haven�t complained about it�I�m sure that the list of things that surprise you could fill in for the Great Wall of China.

12. Just do yourself a favor and save all of us a lot of time a hit �delete��again, wow is all I can say. This was a review? A critique? No, this was a rancid flame very poorly thought out by a person who is not only rude, but seems to have very little tolerance and respect for other people�s ideas and hard work. It makes me really sad that my friend Hedder had to suffer through this idiocy and that this person probably thinks that what he/she/it/thing from the black lagoon said was alright.

It�s not. This shouldn�t be an outline for a review. This was extremely rude and offensive. You should really be ashamed of yourself for taking the time to not only write this out, but create a false account so that you could get away with it. Feel bad.

And to Hedder, I�m sorry for taking up so much space on your review board, but I just had to answer back. I hope this person reads this and decides to email me. I would love to talk to them in person or as close to it as I can get.

Personally, I think your story is brilliant. It has its small problems, but nothing that takes away from the story or plot. It�s a great pairing and you write the dynamics of it�just awesomely. It�s a fresh and new fict and I�m glad you�ve posted it and that other people appreciate it just as much as I do.

Never listen to the few idiots who would love to ruin you (this goes for all writers here, unless you�re really, really bad).

Hugs and kisses,

Dom

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From Shiola on November 21, 2007
yet again you deliver an amazing chapter! please update soon!
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From cynaga on November 21, 2007
fanfuckintastic! Can't wait for more. Great pacing - unique pair. Always love to know more about the Inuzukas. Thanks!
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