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Reviews for War and Regret

By : BlackVixin
  • From solitare1 on October 05, 2007
    I am sorry to hear about your aunt and mom. I am impressed by your faithfulness to your story and your new fans. Keep up the good work and I am lookin forward to reading your finished work.
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  • From BlackSandGara on October 04, 2007
    Hello again,

    Woot, did I call that or what. =^-^= I read Bookworm5185’s review and have to agree that there were a few typos that a spell check would not catch because you typed correct English words but not the right word you were looking for, for the sentence.

    For example: “The greating of the other villagers had beed estactic as they all happily greated Kyuubi and lovingly welcomed Naruto into their home.”

    Should be: The greeting of the other villagers had been ecstatic as they all happily greeted Kyuubi and lovingly welcomed Naruto into their home.

    This is also a great part to put more info into the sentence that could easily make it a lot more detailed. Maybe you could do this by going into how nervous Naruto is to enter Kyuubi’s home village, or the shock of the village once again seeing Kyuubi who had been gone/missing/sealed for the last I believe 17-18 years (sorry if that is not right amount of time). Which actually brings me to a question what does Kyuubi look like? At first I thought he had just human features but then he has a tail in this chapter to wrap around Naruto (totally cute); as well as Naruto thinks that the demons are not scary but how so? What did he think they look like verses how they actually look? Over all a great chapter and I love the scenery around the village. I had pictured a waterfall and the fact that you had actually put a waterfall in makes me smile.

    ~The Black Sand of Gara
    10-04-07

    P.S. If you would like a Beta I wouldn’t mind being one for you since it seems that Bookworm was only going to tell you that you needed a Beta but not help you out. But the down side is that I do both work and go to school so I can not guarantee that I can get it back to you the same day you send it thou I will try my best. That is if you do want me as your Beta.

    P.P.S. I wish your mother the best of luck in surgery and may your aunt rest in peace.

    P.P.P.S. My e-mail is BlackDragonRose5@aol.com (I’m away this weekend but I’ll try to check my mail at the hotel if there is an internet connection.)(In short sorry if I can’t get back to you until Monday when I get back.)

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  • From Bookworm51485 on October 04, 2007
    You really need a beta for this story. You have A LOT of little spelling errors scattered throughout the story, and it's distracting. It's a bit sad that some so small is taking from the general quality of the story. It's not a bad story (at least as far I can see from the first chapter). You've started on a decent foot, but you really need to fix all those little (and they are little, they're just so numerous that they become bigger than they would be alone) spelling problems.
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  • From TseuTsumi on September 06, 2007
    awwww....so cute. KyuuNaru is such an awesome couple. Cant wait for the next chapter.
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  • From PixiMe on September 05, 2007
    I would love to see this updated. You have a really good begining. Keep it up.
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  • From spoon10488 on September 05, 2007
    SO CUTE! I love this story it's so unique. I can't wait for the next chapter, please update soon.
    =)
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  • From Kaishiou on September 05, 2007
    nice. i like the interaction between kyuubi and naruto. would love to read more of this story, so do continue updating =D
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  • From nekoleopard on September 05, 2007
    wow i almost cried at the part where naruto asks kyuubi not to leave him. this story is so good please update soon.
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  • From BlackSandGara on September 05, 2007
    Happy Midnight BlackVixin,
    I love your story. The style of beginning at the almost end then going to the beginning to tell the story thought to the end is one of my favorite ways of writing. The idea of Naruto letting Kyuubi out before he dies while looking up at the dark night sky was absolutely beautiful. And to have Kyuubi want Naruto as his mate makes me smile (it reminded me of my Yu Yu Hakusho roots ^-^), I have been reading Naruto fanfics for almost two years now and I can't remember ever reading a Kyuubi X Naruto fanfic that was not AU, so very originally. A comment on the flow of the writing of the story itself I would say that you need to be careful of not putting enough details you have the basic information but not the extra details which then makes the story seem almost like a textbook where it is all facts and no flow or transitions from one feeling to the next so it becomes choppy at parts. I can't wait for the next chapter thou can I make a guess to where Kyuubi is bring Naruto is either a. his old demon village or b. his old home in the middle of nowhere with crazy beautiful scenery.
    Until next time,
    ~ The Black Sand of Gara
    9-5-07
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