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Reviews for Hinata's Failure

By : inediblefrogs
  • From CrimsonEmbrace on March 28, 2008
    Interesting seems almost like a continuation of 'Hinata's Secrets'.
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  • From llyoung on January 30, 2008
    Sad and sweet. Very well written as all your stories are.
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  • From kakashizgirl on October 20, 2007
    You know...you are amazing. Not only can you write nasty in your face smut, you also are able to write elegant poetic prose. I admire you for your wellroundedness. Brava! Shikyaku!
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  • From manicandyshumway on July 18, 2007
    It's really amazing how you are able to make the reader sympathise with the characters. Again, I applaud you.
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  • From ANON - Unborn on June 30, 2007
    In all of these stories where Hinata ends up with Kiba and common thread appears, why would Hinata choose Kiba? This was rather short and offered no development for why Hinata suddenly stopped pursuing Naruto and decided to pursue Kiba instead. Why would she try to stop loving Naruto, when was this taking place, why Kiba, what does he have that Naruto doesn't, what can he offer her that Naruto couldn't? You need to expand on a story to help us understand it. I can see where you were going with this, you wanted to convey even though Hinata was with another man her feelings for Naruto hadn't changed she still loves him. Still that isn't enough for us to see the whole picture, you need reasons for why this happened, was Kiba there for her, had Naruto upped and disappeared from the village, had he found someone else and Kiba was all Hinata could do.

    Good short synopsis but that's all it was, if you want a real story, had character development, conflict, did Hinata see Naruto with Sakura, or some other woman. Did Kiba pick her up when her heart was broken, or is he just capitalizing on her heartbreak just some questions to think about if you plan on adding to this story, which I think you should do because its very interesting to see a follow up to this piece.
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