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Reviews for Mr. Right

By : ringpop
  • From vanessaclarke on January 17, 2008
    Hey there Darlin'
    You made me very curious, so I read your story (not all of it, don't have that kind of time at the moment. Just 1 through 15) I gotta say, you don't have a problem. What's with all this dissin' you story?!
    Now allow me to elaborate. You have NO difficulties in the style department. Unconventional?.. Yes. But your writing is fairly clear and well edited enough and you've got style up the frickin' wahzoo! It's damn entertaining! You're hilarious! It's funny, it's hot, it's cute, it's creative and it easily draws the reader in. Now I will admit that the 'direction' seems to have lost some focus (not that this kills the story 'cause obviously I kept reading it) and when I looked over your list of other stories, I happened to note that none of them seems to have a COMPLETE sign on them anywhere. This leads me to think that if you're having trouble (and I still don't call this a problem because it's oh sooo easily fixed and has nothing to do with any kind of lack of talent) it has to do with planning.

    I love the flow of your words within each scene/chapter. It's dynamic and it 'works', slang and euphemisms and all! It shows that you're more than capable of that kind of flow on a bigger scale, which in my opinion, is the most important thing. (cause anything else can be worked on but that... you either got it or you don't) You just need to 'direct' that flow and don't lose track of where you were going. If you've found that this is an issue. (I don't like to presume but that was the impression I got from your little rant.) Just take the time, before you let yourself get caught up in details, to get a firm grasp on the bigger picture and don't lose sight of it.

    Admittedly, you probably don't need to take it as far as I do. (sheepish grin) I outline the ever-livin'-shit out of everything I write. Point form, scene for scene, right to the end. (Not that it's set in stone)You could just write yourself a summary before you start, but the main thing is the 'end'. You gotta know it and keep heading on that track. Honestly, I know exactly how hard it is to take this time. You get an idea and you're all enthusiastic and you want to jump right in and start getting it out there. But I think that's the reason behind most abandoned fics. You know inspiration hits and runs. It don't stick around. So you gotta make sure you get the license number. lol

    Seriously, scene for scene seems like a bit much but it really help to keep me from wandering of on a tangent. (No joke! I could stop mid chapter and ask myself what the HELL I'm doing. I've seen me do it. I'm rambling right now for god sake!) It also helps when you start losing steam. It's a lot easier to push through those chapter that you don't really care about when you at least know almost exactly what to put in them.

    Anyway, as I said, it's nothing to worry about and has no bearing on your talent. You do have some 'serious' talent. If I weren't so dead tired right now I'd be going straight back to read the rest of it! You said that it wasn't turning out like you wanted, but I'd say it's definitely still worth finishing. Afterwards you could always do a second version and change anything you like. (Most of my stuff has, or has had at some point, the proverbial version two) =^.^=

    TTYL
    dagget

    luv n kisses!!
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  • From ANON - Kent on January 15, 2008
    OOO IM SO GLAD I FOUND THIS FANFIC AGAIN!!!! YES I LOVE THIS FANFIC!!!! IT IS ONE THE BEST IF NOT IN THE TOP TEN ON THE BEST NARUSASU STORYS EVER!! THIS STORY INSPIRED ME SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR WRITING IT. I LOVE THIS FANFIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM ON THIS SITE 2 IM NARUSASU422
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  • From gaara89 on January 14, 2008
    Amazing! thanks for updating again. i do really love this story.
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  • From Dragon7 on January 14, 2008
    I love it the lemon scene was so hot. I can’t wait to read the next chapter so keep on writing and UPDATE SOON.

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  • From ANON - Anon on January 14, 2008
    oh my fucking god! hawt!
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  • From KoibitoFemme on January 14, 2008
    I got several questions for joo! One where you been I have missed this story! Two like Tommy from the show Martin what the HELL do those do for a living?? No one's gone to work in this entire story. Are they loaded?!?! Dammit I wish I was *cries* and um yea I think my brain just died from that extremely kinky 3-some ooh my butt hurts just from thinking about it *sits on a cushioned donut* Can't wait for the next installment.
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  • From YamiKaeko on November 02, 2007
    Girl you gotta stop gettin grounded...serously. Great chapter, along with the random "Lets kill Sasuke" moments. rofl! update soon!
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  • From fangirlqueen on October 16, 2007
    I love the humour in this story sooooooooooo much it's awsome! pls continue and fufill my fangirl wish of yaoi smut and more yaoi smut and even more yaoi smut
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  • From ANON - devil child on October 15, 2007
    Aww...no 3some smut.Great chapter I loved the smut in it.
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  • From KoibitoFemme on October 15, 2007
    KYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *is thrown to the other side of the room by a massive nose bleed* @.@ That was like WHOA um one question though. The love between Kiba and Haku will it withstand the story and does Haku really love Kiba. I can feel it from Kiba but I wonder about Haku. And that little line 'no cock for you' LOL made me think of No SOUP FOR YOU LOL. Upadte soon!
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  • From LadyWolf on October 14, 2007
    Yea!!!!!!!! Cant wait for another post!!!!!! I love it!
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  • From MissMayumi on October 14, 2007
    Gosh. You're wonderful! This was amazing!! ^^

    You've fulfilled my fantasy!

    xD

    I will get back to you on those emails..don't worry..


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  • From hisoka on October 14, 2007
    YAY,SAI WILL NO LONGER BE DEPRESSED AND EVERYONE CAN BE HAPPY.IS GAARA REALLY GONNA BE WITH HAKU AND KIBA?HOPE SAI AND SUIGETSU ACTUALLY GET TOGETHER SO SUIGETSU STOPS STALKING SASUKE.HOPE YOU CAN UPDATE SOON.
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  • From FairyNiamh on October 14, 2007
    You're a story tease, that's what you are. *nods knowingly* ^_^ Twas a lovely and HAWT update though. I really look forward to the next. ^_^ Ja Ne.
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  • From gaara89 on October 14, 2007
    more please!!! i really love this story, and every time i see an update i get sooo happy!!
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