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Reviews for Beloved

By : Simca23
  • From ANON - the perfect blue on July 23, 2007
    sorry you explained this in a review.
    is there any other way to see the reviews without having to post one yourself?
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  • From ANON - the perfect blue on July 23, 2007
    you may not have noticed this but you forgot to put chapter 2 in you only put in the disclaimer etc.
    God speed.
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  • From sunlight159 on July 12, 2007
    i can't read ch. 2... it only comes up as the disclaimer... it's such a tease!! tells me there is a second chappie up.. and then laughs at me when i try to read it! is the second chapter just not posted yet?
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  • From naruske on June 28, 2007
    where is the storie?

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  • From blueh on June 28, 2007
    I like your idea. It's quite a good start. I noticed you have a few spelling errors that you kept making. Like layed, which is correctly spelt as lied. You should also make use full stops to separate your sentences. It's harder to read when 2 or 3 sentences are clumped together. It's not a very big deal but just a pointer. What else... vocabulary can still be widened but you don't have to worry much about that. Sometimes keeping it simple is the best way to start. I guess that's all for now. Keep writing. I'm very sure this will turn out to be a great story. I'll continue reading if you continue to update. ^^,

    D
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  • From ANON - Hightojo on June 28, 2007
    Hey, like the story, why no second chapter? Blonde Girl Confused...(Don't worry this happens often)
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  • From ANON - kyu000 on June 28, 2007
    lol i just realized, i got to leave ur longest review yet ;) lucky me!
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  • From ANON - kyu000 on June 28, 2007
    hey im sorry about this. dont think of this as a flame, but as helping note...thingy's.
    1.) i didn't read much so im not saying the whole thing is terrible this is just off of part 1. after half of it, i chose to just skim and man, sorry but there was nothin origanal..but hey i love these types of story's too, but it'd be kool to see somthin new. really.
    2.) try to re-read whatever you wrote atleast 2 or 3 times if u don't have a beta. it makes it alot easier for us to read it. and it makes it feel more....mmm, i forgot the word for it =) ....mmmm, better?
    3.) don't let anybody like me stop ya from writin. thats y i said i don't like to write flames. thier mean =(
    keep tryin. =)
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  • From emp78 on June 28, 2007
    That was sweet. I noticed several errors; if you need or want a beta, I'll beta for you. You can e-mail me at marine_corps_mama@yahoo.com
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  • From Simca23 on June 28, 2007
    Im Seriously trying to add a new chapter but for some reason i fucking cat >_< grrrrrrrrrs its annoying i have the next chapter yet i cant use it as a new story or new chapter D: i dont understand this site at all.
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  • From emp78 on June 28, 2007
    Hon, your second chapter didn't take. You may want to try uploading it again.
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  • From ANON - Saiou-chan on June 24, 2007
    Hmm, kinda short for an opener, but not bad. And I kow what you mean, I have a story posted on FF.net, and took alot of curage to post it. The only reason I did because I got such high praise from my family. Keep it up, you can do it, you have the makeings of a great one here. ^^
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  • From blueinu on June 23, 2007
    thanks for writing this so far keep ur head up hi.Don't let others get u down! Keep up the good work and you will improve in time...

    The only things I can critique :Is the lenght of the chapter (frankly,too brief) and the very abrupt ending.
    But other than that good work.
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  • From ANON - foxy on June 22, 2007
    Heya I love the fic hope you update soon, and don't listen to those jerks who trash ya and your fics, seriously its one in a million!! Very good work ^^
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  • From brook13baby13 on June 20, 2007
    Yes its very hard to pleas these people on here. I know first hand. That’s why I got a beta soon after they reviewed my story…and he’s sooooooo awesome…what I did was just ignore them and just listen to my beta and I got better, I think so???

    I hope so??

    Well anyways I LIKE this story, so continue plz.

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