Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Blackmail and Betrayal

By : Zrina

From MichiyoInue on March 11, 2008
amazing as always!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant wait for more!
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From ANON - Anon on March 11, 2008
Erm, I was slightly confused about the scene with the italics, though. What were they supposed to indicate? I loved them, I thought they had a neat effect, but I wasn�t exactly sure what it was.
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From ANON - Anon on March 11, 2008
Chapter 17: Alright, finally! Fight on, Zrina! =D
Hmm, I wonder if Orochimaru�s going to have the chance to do all this, or are they going to get him first? And we gotta watch out for Mizuki, he�s a DA (or going to be), isn�t he? . . . . Okay, I know it�s part of the job of a lawyer to help criminals get the most lenient sentence, but if this lawyer knew about the attempt on Sasuke�s life, that would make him a crook. I know, I know a lot of people say all lawyers are crooks, but not that kind of crook. Is this guy like in on crime and stuff? Like the lawyers in The Godfather? . . . . I wonder what �Rochi-kun plans to do about Ino. . . . Love the way you describe him trying to keep a hold on his anger. What�s a �mole� in this context?
I guess �Rochi-kun really is a �crime boss wannabe� if he�s got so much evidence against him. Usually crime bosses are pretty good at keeping that sort of thing pretty tight. I wonder what his lawyer looks like or who he is (OC, or from the manga). . . . This is cool, part of it�s in italics and the other part�s not. . . . Lame attempt, Mr. Lawyer. . . . Uh-oh. That line, �there had been no further sexual conduct between them,� is kind of a tricky answer. I get the feeling he could get in trouble either way. . . . Surely Naruto knows what�s going on when Sasuke keeps denying the relationship questions; he�s pretty smart (he had to be, growing up as he did). . . . Hmm, this is interesting. The �Up to a point� part. . . . Better attempt, Mr. Lawyer. I hate your guts, but at least you weren�t doing lame half-assed attempts like �promised more sex.� . . . . Jeez, one would think Kabuto would�ve searched the whole room for stuff. Ah well, no one�s perfect. And Naruto is often underestimated, and Kabuto�s a little arrogant. . . . So is Karin selling Orochimaru out hoping to gain leniency? . . . Yup, guess so. I�d love to see what happens to her throughout the rest of this story. . . . YES!! An honest and straightforward jury for once! (I�ve seen way to many crime-drama episodes where they say �find the defendant . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . guilty/not guilty.� Thank you! (*bows profusely to Zrina*) . . . . Hm? What�s this? Oh my. . . . Uh-oh. If someone on the bad side gets a hold of this, it could be bad. . . . Awww, that�s sweet. :heart: . . . . I�m wondering if they can do this all in just 10 minutes. . . . Whoa. O.O . . . . Hey, Naruto knows and understands lust and desire, but will he understand that Sasuke really does love him if they don�t have time to talk about it after this? . . . . Uh-oh, the press. . . . (*gasp!*) Could there be a spy among them?! O.O . . . . Whoa. Shit. I wasn�t expecting that. Is Kotetsu going to die? . . . . I liked the way Ebisu reacted to what he walked in on; very professional. . . . Ahahaha! Love how you brought in Sasuke�s �source� and the last sentence of this chapter. So . . . I dunno, good! XDDD
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From roro237 on March 11, 2008
Yea! Zrinaday! Oh this was so worth the wait:) All the court proceeding and still a sexy bit of stick play. I loved it!!!!!!!
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From animeaddict666 on March 11, 2008
This was amazing. I know that the court scene isn't the focus of the story, but you did an amazing job of summarizing without trivializing anything. Also, your characterization of the police and FBI task force was believable. Plot progression was amazing. Orochimaru makes me want to kick puppies, and good for Karin, the perfect little snitch! Only crit is that I think "mole" insinuates that she was an undercover, not a turncoat.

Oh, and the frottage was hot as hell!

~AA666
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From Dragon7 on March 11, 2008
Loved it I can't wait to read more so update soon.

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From Adi on March 11, 2008
best chapter! Smut, action and all the lawyer like stuff completely had me thinking I was watching a law tv series XD very nicely pulled off :D

smut was brilliant too XD

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From ANON - Anon on February 26, 2008
Chapter 16: Thank God Sasuke�s okay. . . . Lolllll, �He simultaneously noticed [. . .] something stuck in his nose.� XDDD . . . . Love Kakashi�s compliments towards Sakura. ^^ . . . . Hah! Sasuke socked him. XD . . . . Nice characterization of Kakashi. . . . �Probably after all of this is over.� Hmm, I�m hearing that a lot in this story. It makes me wonder: Is it ever going to be over? . . . Heh. �Cops didn�t like rats no matter what the reasoning.� I like that line. I could say more on that subject, but I think it prudent not to. . . . (*falls backward off chair laughing insanely*) Oh-my-God, that was hilarious. (*still laughing*) That ending. So off the wall. XDDDDDD
Hmmm, something to do with . . . his brother? o_o . . . . Ohhhh jeez, Kakashi, there�s a frickin time and place for jokes! �_� . . . . See? (*snicker*) �Goodbye, Kakashi.� XD . . . . Love it when Sasuke gets sarcastic. ^^ . . . . Awesome ending. And a slight taste of his own medicine. And he and Sasuke found something in common! =D
Shit, this is bad.
(*snicker*) �Sorry, dear, I�ll leave a note.� XDD I can�t really imagine Ebisu saying that, but it�s a hilarious idea. XD . . . . Actually, that whole little paragraph was hilarious, LMAO. XD . . . . Alright! They didn�t find it! =D . . . . �[. . .] shoving Kakashi�s feet out of the way [. . .]� I love that! XD

Alright! I�m up-to-date on this! (I�m glad it was past all those horrible traumatizing parts. *shiver*) Keep going, and I still await Dreams of Fire! =D
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From ANON - Anon on February 26, 2008
Chapter 15: I knew Ino wouldn�t be okay for a while. She�s going to need some serious therapy. . . . I just bet this woman is Shizune. =) . . . Ha! I was right! =D . . . Thanks for allowing Ino to talk a little. And thank you SO FRICKIN� MUCH for allowing her to shoot the hell out of Kabuto!! That made my day (which had been kind of rough T_T)! . . . This is an awesome conversation between them. Cute how he called her �Brat.� :heart: . . . . Love that little �hot� double-meaning. =) . . . . �No, they didn�t trust you�d be safe enough there.� I wonder if Sasuke�s in this hospital as well. If so, they need to adjust their security a little bit.
Jeez, poor guy. . . . Cute, Kakashi scratching Naruto�s nose for him. ^^ . . . . Love Ebisu�s reasoning: �You need to live more,� and why.
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From ANON - Anon on February 26, 2008
Chapter 14: You know, Zrina, You wield writing like a weapon. Nobody is safe when you use writing. (*throws self to floor*) I am yours to command. . . . XD
Interesting take on Suigetsu�s thoughts. . . . Yeah, Suigetsu, you don�t want to run into Itachi anytime soon. Although, the fact that Itachi�s body hadn�t been accounted for still bugs me. I�ll betcha he might just make an appearance. I kinda hope so. . . . GETTIM, NARUTO!!! . . . . eeeeeeeeeYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! GO FOR IT, INO!!! SHOW EM THAT YOU�RE NOT TOTALLY A HELPLESS VICTIM!!! (My God, I can�t remember the last time I was this crazy over a story! o_o) . . . I�d really love to see a picture of Ino in her killing-mode. That has got to be awesome.
Man, Orochimaru is weird.
That�s a great line: �and he had a suspicion that not all of the cylinders were up and firing in his brain.� Where do you get all these?? XD . . . . Alright, cool, Sakura! . . . . Um, I�m confused: Who shot Sasuke?? . . . . Love this conversation with Sakura. Nice portrayal of her character. . . . Love the laughing/crying bit. And whenever you make Sasuke do something like comfort her in this way, it never seems OOC to me. I swear, you�ve got some inner gift of writing.
Uh-oh. There�s something odd about this nurse. . . . Knew it. Fuck.
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From ANON - Anon on February 26, 2008
Chapter 13: WHOA!! (*blink*blink*) Some opening! o_o GO FOR IT, SASUKE! There�s a fire under me here! (*bares teeth in feral grin/smile/snarl*) . . . . XD Asuma�s attitude is great. It�s all, �Okay, okay, jeez.� XD . . . . �Crazy psycho bitch?� (*blinks*) I�ve heard him being called a �bitch� and an �emo whiny bitch,� but never, never a �crazy psycho bitch.� I think I like this one.
Love Kakashi�s persistence! XD . . . . Ebisu�s outburst! XDD . . . . Wonderful interaction between Kakashi and Ebisu.
�Whatever wretched hopelessness [. . .] pure hate.� I think that�s a good thing. It could�ve wakened up the hard streak that some people call on to get a job done. (I read about that in some books by My Favorite Author.) . . . . Interesting: Orochimaru gets off on being endangered. Or something like that. Either way, this interest could make him careless; even if he doesn�t underestimate Naruto, he could miss something. . . . Niiiiiice, Naruto�s feeding that hard center or hate. You know, I wonder how he, Orochimaru and Sasuke would each react to hearing who�s acting like who and about who in the ninjaverse; this is closer to Sasuke�s involvement in the real story. . . . Interesting method. I mean, the idea. Nice description of the use of power. Unusual, and it kinda makes grim sense. . . . Orochimaru doesn�t get that if you screw with someone�s mind too much, it can break, but NOT only in the way of it turning useless or to his advantage. He might just break any barriers that Naruto may have had. Barriers that could�ve kept Orochimaru safe/in control. . . . YEAH!! GUNSHOT!! >:D
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From ANON - Anon on February 26, 2008
Chapter 12: (*sigh*deep breath*) Hokay . . . I can do this. This story is torturing me from so much sad stuff, but I can do this.
Heh. Cute. Sasuke waking up. ^^ :heart: . . . . I wonder if Sasuke�s going to check with Asuma. I wonder if Asuma will help.
(*gasp!*) ASUMA!! . . . . Oh God, not again. (*groan*) And yet, you, Zrina, have scarred my mind and have planted an interest that should never have been there before. �_�
I gotta say . . . Karin�s behavior reminds me more of Tayuya than Karin. . . . �Rochi, you�ve no idea who you�re dealing with here: We�re talking Naruto, Sasuke, AND Kakashi. They�ve got my total faith. (*chants to self*) Keep the faith, keep the faith, keep the faith, keep the faith. . . . . I�m begging you, Zrina, please do a fade. I want to know what happened, but not in detail. However, I won�t begrudge you too bad if you choose to show us the details. =_= . . . . Keep the faith, Naruto, keep the faith, keep the faith, keep the faith, keep the faith, keep . . . . . Love Kabuto�s line back to Sakon. . . . Interesting how in-character Kabuto is (although I seriously don�t approve of him here). Actually, he reminds me a little of Itachi, and I�m not sure if Kabuto would act this way with his personality in the ninjaverse, but I can still picture him doing it. . . . I wonder if Kabuto�s performance there freaked out any of �Rochi�s other cronies. . . . Faith, Naruto, faith (you know, Zrina, I�ve never had so much faith as I have while reading this chapter -- which is totally ironic.). . . . Pssh. (*snorts derisively*) Please, Orochimaru, is that the best you can come up with? In a strange and very twisted twist (. . . ?_?), some strong surge of powerful faith has been restored to me through watching this terrible scene. And if you�ve convinced some people that Naruto is dead through that little stunt you did, things can go the other way as well. Keep the faith, keep the faith, keep the faith. . . .
Stuff added a day after I read this chapter: By the way (I better mention this now before I forget again), would you say that Kabuto is Rochi�s Consigliere? Cuz it would totally fit if he was. ^^
Also, thinking back on that scene, you portrayed Kabuto in an interesting and possibly new light (sick as it was). I don�t know how to describe it, only . . . I dunno. It caught my interest, the idea of his repressed closet-sadistic streak. I�ve never really thought of him that way, but it�s totally possible. Him being a total, violent crazy (hence the table shaking *shiver*) psycho (those gleaming eyes, the loving caress, brrr). And . . . not that I take pleasure out of torture, I would like to see more of him in this way sometime; maybe in another fic. I mean, it�s just too good writing for it to be left to just this one little scenelet.
By the way: NYPD. That answers my question. ^_^
One other thing: The deal Asuma was hinting at . . . did he want Sasuke or Naruto to do the action?
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From ANON - Anon on February 25, 2008
Chapter 11: Oh, you get migraines? I sympathize greatly. I don�t get them, but my mother does and I can see from her how bad those can be. =(
Love the way you portrayed Sasuke�s shock through all this. . . . Knew Baki would have the pictures now. Maybe Sasuke can blackmail him back, since he has evidence of Baki doing things he shouldn�t be doing as well. . . . Heheheheh, love what Sasuke did with the folders. Suckerrrrrs. ^^
Love this scene with Sakura. . . . This is interesting. Sasuke chose Naruto over Sakura, even though Naruto is dead (supposedly). I kind of hope we haven�t seen the last of her in this story, though. Not necessarily to cause trouble or help or whatever, just an interesting part. . . . Love the soap opera reference. . . . �A hit man here to do you in.� �What the hell?� XD . . . . Alright! DNA! =D (Love the choice and source of it too. ^^). . . . �[. . .] somewhere in his clothing that Sasuke didn�t quite catch [. . .]� Let�s hope it�s not behind the scarf. XP
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From ANON - Anon on February 25, 2008
Chapter 10: Bay area. Does this mean San Francisco? . . . . �Crime boss wannabe?� I thought Orochimaru was beyond the wannabe; I thought he was a real crime boss in this story! What�s the difference?? . . . . Sasuke, lock your car!! Remember, you�re being followed!! . . . . Ahaha, that was great: Kakashi drops the book, revealing . . . a scarf! XDDD . . . . Ebisu? Interesting. What does he do? (*cough*closetperv*HACK*XD) . . . . AlRIGHT! Kakashi in action! =D (Fighting-action, not sex-action. *sweat*) . . . . Oh, cool! Kakashi was a detective?! Awesome! =D . . . . (!!!) O.O FBI?!? (*practically jumping on my seat in excitement*) We�re really moving along now! =DDD . . . . This could very easily be a trap for Sasuke. Not from the FBI (though I shouldn�t entirely rule that out), but from Orochimaru & Co. . . . Oh. My. God. The warehouse just blew up. O.O I�m -- pretty sure that Naruto�s not in there. (*worried*)
The little fox plushie. I like how Sasuke picked it up. Maybe that�ll become some symbol later (if it isn�t one already). . . . It wasn�t him, it wasn�t him, it wasn�t him, it had to be someone else planted as him, please, please, please. . . .
I DON�T believe that was Naruto!!!
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From ANON - Anon on February 25, 2008
Chapter 9: Eheh, �Couch-mate,� cute. ^^ . . . . Love his thoughts about . . . everything. His fantasies. . . . �At both of us.� Cute. :heart: . . . . (*snicker*) They�re acting a little like kids. ^^
Love Sasuke�s confusion about wanting and not wanting to talk about the situation. . . . (*giggle*) �Ants in your pants.� XD . . . . Good conversation. . . . Nice little conflict going on here. Hopefully it�ll get resolved. Love Naruto�s line: �If all you look for is [. . .]� . . . . This conversation is awesome. The one in the car. . . . Love Sasuke�s vehemence in denying that Naruto�s a whore. Naruto needs to hear that and with sincerity, and Sasuke�s providing both.
Love the touch about the door closing and reopening. . . . �[. . .] girlfriend looked embarrassed about but not upset over [. . .]� I wonder why.
Crap. Naruto�s thinking about going back to the warehouse? Bad, bad, bad! Even if he doesn�t know about Baki finding out his involvement, I would�ve thought his presence would�ve been missed last night. . . . �He can�t own everyone in this town.� Makes me wonder where this town is. Also, I�m surprised that Sasuke isn�t formally changing the deal to keeping safe one of the cousins to both of them. . . . That�s a great touch: �Careful is my middle name.� It�s just the opposite in the ninjaverse. ^_^ . . . . Good, Sasuke has a copy of those vids. Now let�s hope he keeps it really safe. . . . Love the way the intended conversation was diverted by the news. =D . . . . This -- is -- BAD!!!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (*pale*) Shit.
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