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Reviews for Memoirs

By : abigailpa
  • From abigailpa on December 15, 2007
    Hi guys im so sorry it took me this long to update with school and work, and some family issues I got throwed off, so i did two chapters and im gonna keep doing two when i update and hopefully i have somthing by monday.!!!!!!!! Thank you guys for reading!
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  • From ANON - r.y.y on August 12, 2007
    I love the story, one problem though. Everything is all cluttered together, and that makes it difficult to read. If you could perhaps have different paragraphs where people start to speak and such, like they do in novels, it would be much easier to read. thanks
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  • From KoibitoFemme on August 11, 2007
    Didn't you have a bunch of chapters up? What happened. Oh well I still like the story thank you for updating!!!
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  • From abigailpa on August 10, 2007
    I'm sorry, I'm just trying to improve the story, and I hope you guys like this more so let me know what you think!
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  • From nekoleopard on July 17, 2007
    oh that was so good i loved the movie and i love your fic teehee
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  • From ANON - Anon on June 19, 2007
    WOW! Very interesting, I like it a lot hope you continue it soon.
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  • From ANON - Anonymous on June 18, 2007
    ...Please, please do some research beyond just watching a movie if you plan to write something based on practices that are traditional. I know most people don't find it fun... but research is often what makes writing good (a beta reader will also help immensely). Here are some links that you might find useful:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_Japan
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kagema
    http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/japan.html
    http://www.thekeep.org/~kunoichi/kunoichi/themestream/taikomochi.html
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  • From on June 16, 2007
    Awesome story!!!!!!!! I love it!
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  • From ANON - AoiKitsune on May 19, 2007
    aww dat was just yummy n o so cute. XP i like dis fic
    so far n im hopin for an update soon. best of luck. ur new
    fan AoiKitsune =^-^=
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  • From ANON - Damp on May 19, 2007
    Okay, I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to beta your stories, and I will beta them don't worry. But please don't update your stories without showing it to me first so I can fix the errors, I have a really hard time fixing the errors after it's been made public...I don't know why, but I just do.

    -Damp *I swear to you that you will have the beta'd versions of your fics by the end of this week!!*
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  • From ANON - hitoma-sama on May 12, 2007
    very nice write more
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  • From hisoka on May 09, 2007
    for your 1st fic you've done well good stop point too
    update?
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  • From ANON - Anon on May 09, 2007
    what do they not know they are having males attend them?
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  • From ANON - Bookworm51485 on May 09, 2007
    It's a nice idea, but I would say that you do need a beta. Your spelling and grammar are okay, but there are mistakes within.

    AND you really need to stabilize your POV. It's first person, then third, then first again. Personally I'd say you should just stick with the 3rd person pov. The first person pov is very hard to write in an effective manner, and when you do write in the first person it feels like the third until the 'I' pops up.

    I do like the idea, and your execution so far isn't too bad. I do wonder about the last part of the last chapter where Naruto seems to be arguing with the 6 men they're supposed to be serving. It seems a little strange that he would behave in such a manner when he's supposed to be a geisha, or a geisha in training.

    I will say, I can't wait for the big reveal when they meet their personal geisha. Though I am wondering, how old are Haku and Zabuza? You don't mention their ages on the list.
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  • From Hen on May 09, 2007
    This is getting good. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I hope there's lots of Kakashi and Iruka interaction. It's cool that you included Choji since most writers leave him out.
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