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Reviews for hinata the demon

By : writer33
  • From ANON - NarutosBrat on August 28, 2008
    This story has a purty good premise. Smut with a little plot mixed in is always a good thing. The only thing I'd recommend, is finding a beta. With all of the grammatical, punctuation, and some spelling errors, not to mention distinguishing dialogue, whose saying what, and when their saying it, it's a little hard to read. Good story idea though, and I'm still reading it, so that should say something for it's merits. Find a beta, you can't go wrong with one; even the inhumanly good writers use them.
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  • From ANON - Anon on July 08, 2008
    when are you going to up date?
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  • From mrse7en00 on June 24, 2008
    dude use spell check and for names use google you need to repost this man . cus there are alot of mistakes here like the lack of quotation marks
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  • From Archfiend on June 18, 2008
    dod, you know that this abysmal spelling robbed me of an pleasure I could have had in reaing your fic, even though it has so much potential. There are still questions unanswered though such as: Where did Orochimaru get that demoness from, secondly why did Naruto suddenly fall unconcious, thirdly how could thev have turned into their fox demons, as for Naruto that would entail the demon fox cloak and that as we very well know is toxic and dangerous to Naruto . clear up the story and answer the questions please in some new (hopefully better written) chapters of this story
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  • From Archfiend on June 18, 2008
    God, for the love of all you hold dear please edit this story. Not only is there absolutely no grammar, but a large number of spelling mistakes is in there as well. Find a beta for heaven sake, for as of now it is almost totally unreadable, and this could be a nice story, seeing as it has a plot that promises more ( as of chapter 1) Please consider reposting this story in a cleaned up version of it.
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  • From KaelHyun on June 18, 2008
    Vary interesting but you should use Quotation("") marks so its easyer to tell when people are talking... also I Hope the Kitsune duo gose after Orochimaru and then destroys the Akatsuki before finding a proper den and then haveing even MORE Kits
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  • From marc7028 on March 28, 2008
    oh this is good i tried reading the frist chapter but i wasn't my type the i tried agian the went on to the 2nd chapeter and i like it ^^ keep writig
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  • From ANON - Kelsey on January 09, 2008
    Wow that was awsome update soon ok
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  • From Dynamo on July 21, 2007
    pretty cool! good concept hope you continue!
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  • From ANON - Anon on June 04, 2007
    Hmmm, this is much better than your other works XD ... Still needs a lot of work tho :P

    Keep it up, your writing is getting better. If at all possible look for a good beta. It really helps and they correct all your mistakes in grammar and spelling so you only have to focus on writing! :D
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  • From ANON - Ivellios on June 02, 2007
    Wow, your spelling and grammar could use a lot of work but I have to admit I like this sick twisted piece of work. Update soon if you can.
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  • From ANON - Anonymous on May 21, 2007
    Spelling,grammar,spelling,GRAMMAR,SPELLING,GRAMMAR!!!
    Spellcheck is your friend,USE IT.
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  • From writersnightmare on May 12, 2007
    definetly interesting want to read more most definetly.
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  • From ANON - ItachiUchiha on May 11, 2007
    Well, The story is pretty good, and the Third chapter was pretty fast and done reading in a few mins but it's a ok story, Just one thing that bothers me though since when can Humans or Human-form Demons lay eggs? That kinda threw it off abit. Ah well keep up the good work and hope to see more updates soon
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  • From Overlordofnobodies on May 02, 2007
    Yes! You fineing update. I like the chapter inxeshing the instincts part. Hope youmcan starte chapter 3 soon. I want to see want Naruto does.
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