Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Look At Me

By : bkdragone

From sihayadib on April 26, 2007

----One thiing you thought was good

I thought the grammar and flow in this chapter was much better. I don't think the characters are OOC, but they're borderline... but this chapter did better than the others.

_____One thing you thought was bad
The almost OOCness, but not quite. It's there, but it's not... so I don't know what to say. I think you are doing much better than most, but I can be anal retentive sometimes...

Oh, and requiring reviews before posting more chapters? If there were more het fics here, I probably wouldn't read the story after reading the review/page requirements. BS in my opinion. But there's not more het fics, and I'm deprived... and you really shouldn't think so little of your readers. I felt insulted after reading that. Perhaps I'll feel differently later, but I don't appreciate it right now. Kinda soured me when I reached the end.

_____What you thought of the chapter

Best chapter so far.

_____Who you want together
I don't particularly enjoy this pairing normally, but I would have to say Sasuke. You set it up to go in that direction, and I believe it is what would work with the story best. Kakashi would screw up the team dynamics since you have an "everyone loves Saku" fic. Naruto's clingly seems to drive away Saku as is. No explanation is needed for Sai... the story is completely not set up for him. So I'm going to stick with Sasuke.
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From ANON - :) on April 26, 2007
OK YOU WANT GOOD REVIEW.....
I WANT SAKURA AND ALL OF TEAM 7 IT'S JUST HARD TO CHOOSE BUT IF I THERE WAS A PICK THEN KAKASHI OR SASUKE.
YOU DO HAVE ALOT OF THE CHARACTERS PERSONALITY IN THIS STORY WITH NARUTO AND HIS OVERPROTECTNESS SASUKE NOT SHOWING HIS FEELINGS AND SAI IN HIS OWN LITTLE WORLD. OTHER THAN THAT I DID GET KIND SLEEPY READING BUT MAYBE THAT HAS TO DO WITH ME READING THE STORY @ 2A.M. I HOPE YOU GET ALL THE REVIEWS YOU WANT BECUASE YOU ARE A GOOD WRITER. ( HOW'S THAT FOR A REVIEW PLEASE JUST UPDATE A.S.A.P)
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From ANON - Lanier on April 26, 2007
Wow, they are all in a tough spot. I do agree with Tsunade no matter how hard it was to say it. I think the best bet is for someone to take care of Sakura's virgin status asap. Ok well at least after she wakes up. Hmmm I would enjoy seeing sakura with any of them, but especially kakashi sensei. I cant wait to see more of this story. I like your plot line and cant wait to see it develope. Very nice work.
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From ANON - Kayoto on April 26, 2007
----One thing you thought was good

The mixture of humor, character depth, and plot. Each chapter has left me both amused and interested.
(oh, and how you describe Sai is hilarious...I was laughing for a while when I read your comment on him being an emotional retard)

_____One thing you thought was bad
Sasuke is moody, but not as bad as you describe him at times...

_____What you thought of the chapter
Short and sweet, but with a twist that puts you on edge for the next chapter(s)!!!

_____Who you want together

SASUKE AND SAKURA!!! (soften him up a bit hehe)

hopefully not a threesome...as nice as those are, doesn't seem a Sakura personality in this story...
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From MoiyaHatake on April 26, 2007
Ok, so I was reading through the reviews and something someone said about all four of the boys getting Sakura made me think. You should do a chapter devoted for each couple and then have Sakura decide who she wants after she's tasted all four flavors!!! LMAO!!! I would read it!
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From MoiyaHatake on April 26, 2007
Good: I love the translated version of Sasuke's "Dont tell him." That was great. I like the plot idea. With the drug and the kidnappings leading the team out on a mission. I like plot. Plot is good.
Bad: Hmmm....How did Genma get the drug or did he? Or was it put into her sake by the bartender that had come around to ogle her like a pig that he is? Also, Naruto...Dramatic much? Not that it was totally bad but it was sort of over the top maybe. And its another poor Sakura story like she's some weak pathetic thing. Sorry, but Ive read so many poor Sakura stories that make her out to be so weak and whiny. Maybe its because of how she was written in her genin days in the manga. Its all Kishimoto's fault!!! LOL She's not my fave character. And not because I prefer the boys (Sexy). LOL
What I think: I think that I have answered this one in answering the first two questions to some extent. I liked that the chapter was used to direct us towards the main plot of the story. But the story seems to be a nice mixture of tension, who gets to screw Sakura senseless?, and the seriousness of the plot, will she be screwed willingly? Sorry, but I cant help but laugh now. I really do love the story otherwise I wouldnt keep coming back.
"Who gets the girl: My vote Sasuke! And Sasuke only because I dont think he wuld be the type to share even if it was with his best friend. Kakashi gets my second vote because he deserves it more than the others.
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From HumanInfiltrator on April 25, 2007
Intense!

How is Sakura going to prepare for this mission? Hee-hee-heee.

Moresomes, Please!!!!
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From ANON - Kim on April 25, 2007
I�m actually surprised with how the story is coming out. Usually when a fic centers on the fact Sakura is �desirable� by everyone it tends to incorporate flowery fluff and a lot of out of characters. And that combination is annoying. However, while Sakura is portrayed as �hot stuff� she still managers to have her corky-ness without venturing in to Mary-Sue land. Overall � I like it. And your editor is doing a great job...got to love those guys. A life saver.

Regarding the pairing of choice� Ano--it has to be "Kakashi".

I�m following the manga and am stuck on Sasuke being possessed by Omochimaru (sort of like Naraku from Inuyasha). Hence, the only fics I like with Saku/Sasu are the ones filled with angst and split personality Sasuke bordering psycho tendencies (I believe its genetics ^_^). I love Sai, but can�t take him seriously with his tank top showing his midriff. Love the abs, but guys who wear those go to the Rainbow lounge in Waikiki (i.e. gay hangout). Not to mention I think he�s honestly not attracted to Sakura sexually, and more or less teases her ruthlessly because he feels a brotherly bond. Although, he'll rather die before he ever admits he actually cares for anyone... he's a closet sulker. ^_^ Sai riles people up for his own sick pleasure. Lastly, Naruto has more of a chance with Sakura than the other two� the only problem is I don�t think Sakura could ever devote herself to loving him the way he loves her. She can care for him, but not love him, not without thinking about Sasuke. It�s one sided, but it makes great angst. (I a whore for angst if you couldn�t tell). She�s also aware of Hinata�s affection for Naruto and I don�t believe Sakura is the type to ever take advantage of that, not intentionally. Sakura is the type of person who wants every one to like her and would rather sacrifice something dear to then dissapoint someone. The only selfish thing about her is the obsession to love someone unconditionally. Because of her love of Sasuke I believe she would be attracted to someone with similar traits, but not as serious. This is where Kakashi comes in. After all, it was said Kakashi and Sasuke were eerily similar as children. Sakura would certainly be looking for someone that could hold their own against her �bi-polar� mood-swings and once in awhile smile at her. While Kakashi would display his alter indifference, he cares enough of people's feelings. He wants them to live a happy life and not take it for granted like he did. And the whole 14 year age gap is not a huge deal as lone as Sakura is not a teenager. At 12 years old that would be sick, but at 19 or 20 it wouldn't even raise an eyebrow. From personal experience, I�ve only dated older men and one was at least 17 years my senior. It�s not how old you are, but how well you act. Experience is very sexy. Although, if you�re talking about a 40 y/o virgin who plays Dungeon and Dragons in his moms basement�then�..run for your life.

Done with my ranting. Great story.
Again, my vote is Kakashi�that smexy white fang.

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From ANON - RI100014 on April 25, 2007
Okay I just scanned through this stuff on a whim. But I have to say this last chap, totally had me cracking up. LOL. Sakura better watch out, she's gotten noticed, but by the crowd that likes to pass their easy lays around. Its a good things she's got her teamates and Sensei to watch her back or whatever sweet little innocence she's still got [which apparantly is alot] would be lost faster than a Thai hooker near an American GI. Oh man. Ow and if I actually got this right, that Anko has got Sai in her sights, than I just have to say damn. Mr. Emotionally-Dead with Ms. Psychotic-Bitch. Now that would be something you need to video tape and submit to a hardcore sadism site.

Till next time... adios.
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From ANON - evilflynmonkeys on April 25, 2007
i love the protctiveness

in this chapter...

please update soon!!!
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From ANON - raefire on April 24, 2007
Cute!! Rescued by her boys!!!!
Someone is in deep shit!!
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From ANON - Anon on April 24, 2007
I LIKE THIS STORY ALOT I THINK SAKURA SHOULD HAVE A NIGHT WITH ALL OF HER GUYS. YEAH I LIKE THAT SAKURA WITH THE GUYS FROM TEAM 7. THIS STORY IS SOO GOOD IT'S RIGHT UP THERE WITH LEMONDROPS AND J POP PRINCESS. BRAVO AND CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE.
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From ANON - JanBlan on April 24, 2007
Hey keep going, I love this story. Sakura did get lucky in the end, too bad she fell asleep.
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From Jennjennr on April 24, 2007
Ooh Genma's in trouble.... Great chapter, yeah lucky Saku, I wanna touch Kakashi's hair too... soft. Hmm interesting how this chapter worked out like you said not a fun as the others but interesting. You made Genma a not so nice guy, interesting I think this is the fisrt time I've eveer seen him portrayed that was... so kudos to you! Sorry about not reviewing the last chapter, it was good to, I like the idea that all the males are very interested in Sakura and not just from the stand point of a sexual interest -although I believe that is a big draw- but also from the stand point of them all being so close to her, she's their girl just as much as they are her guys, I like the play on that. Can't wait till the next chapter thanks so much for writing.
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From ANON - crazy...slightly insane on April 24, 2007
That was mean!!! She fell asleep!! LMFAO...this was good REALLY GOOD! I can't wait to read more!
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