Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Look At Me

By : bkdragone

From ANON - Anon on May 01, 2007
can't wait for next chapater Now that I am thinking about it I think I would like kakashi and sakura I can see naruto, sai, and sasuke as her " big brother/best friends" type. Please put sakura and kakashi. PLEASE
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From ANON - Vahn Death Heart on April 30, 2007
The story has a lot of good points. Very good story line. I have never read one like this before, but I cant but help to say that it's Kurenai not Kunai... thats the throwing knife they use... and why don't they question the bartender or Genma where they got the drug? Anyways I really want to see Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura get together. Just because I think it would make for an akward position in the story line and I would like to see how that turns out. As for the chapter it turned out for an interesting position. I didn't see Kakashi being the one to hit Genma cause I thought he had left the room.
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From ANON - AJ (yes, I am a girl) on April 28, 2007
I liked the chapter, I think the story is really good. I thought the drug and the new mission sounds promising (good.) The only thing I thought was particularily bad was how short it was. My all time favorite couple is Sasuke and Sakura, I'd like them together. Thank you.
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From ANON - Laura on April 27, 2007
1. The whole drugged plot, I haven't seen a plot like this yet.....and I read ALOT of KakasSaku.
2. You misspelled 'things' in your author note at the bottom.
3. I really liked this chapter!!!
4. Kakashi+Sakura....What can I say I love the pairing!
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From ANON - tasha on April 27, 2007
i think so far the story is good. since it's still so young, there's not a lot to say...i still don't know really where the plot is going. i think you deserve that i review since i read it today. and annnndd...i would like to see sakura and sasuke in this one...so far what you've got in here about his concern would lead rather nicely in that direction.
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From ANON - RAW19 on April 27, 2007
yet, another path i didn't see coming.

good: a story with a plot. those are so few these days.

bad: date rape drugs. those are among the few things i can't forgive mankind for.

pairing wish: at least a little naruto/sakura. those are so few now and days. i've seen kakashi and saskue with her, and have no clue who sai is.

another most excellent chapter. i look forward to the next update.
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From ANON - yume on April 27, 2007
I thought the plot was very good it can improve in imaginary and the chapter makes you long for more wishing that Sakura would wake up already and I would really like Sai and Sakura together.
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From ANON - mel on April 26, 2007
I think you've done a good job so far. There are a few very minor spelling mistakes, but I love the plot. I can't wait til the next chapter. Sakura/Kakashi is my favorite pairing and then after that I would like to see Sakura/Naruto.
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From MoiyaHatake on April 26, 2007
I couldnt see much of a change in the overall chapter. I like rereading them though and it was still as good as the rough draft.
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From roxnroll on April 26, 2007
The overall story is good. The only bad thing I could see was a few spelling/grammar errors. I like that this story actually has some substance and not just fluff. I really like Sakura with anyone except Sai. I think for this story though, I would like to see her with Sasuke.

Keep up the good work.

Rox
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From animelover5107 on April 26, 2007
OK I hope this counts as a qualifying review... I love the plot idea, a poison that makes a person pretty much a slave - i could think of a few good uses for that -__- I hate the fact that it does not bode well for Sakura. I have faith in the pink haired wonder, but in this she is a virgin, just getting used to sexual notions and now she has to worry about the drug, what the master will do to her and a potential war if their mission isn't successful. That's alot of weight to carry on one's shoulders. I thought this chapter was pretty good, a little on the short side - but you've already stated your reasonings behind that. I think the only thing missing was maybe a little more insight on this drug that they're dealing with. You know maybe Tsunade has some knowledge of how to fight against it - not an antidote per se, but a counter active? Maybe someway to help these girls first, before killing the leaders or master. Oh well, just my opinion and now I'm rambling. As for pairings, I still stand by my previous review, I love her paired with all of them, whether it's a group thing (i.e. SakuxTeam7) or anyone of her team mates individually. Please update as soon as you can, I am loving this story more and more, and can't wait for the fluff!!

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From ANON - Robyn on April 26, 2007
Now I intially thought that this story was going to be a fuck fest but you changed the direction into that of a plot based story. I love intrigue. Your writing style is nice. Descriptions are good, but I think you're capable of more. You're good at describing the characters range of emotions, reasoning, and reactions, but I would like to see more location description. I've seen the anime and so I translate a bar scene that I've seen before and place the characters within that realm. I am a fan of KakaSaku, NaruSaku, and SasuSaku. Sai is just odd. I've never really seen full pictures of him so I can't imagine him being attractive.This story doesn't seem Kakashi based or Naruto based so I'd have to pick Sasuke. This chapter was a good set up for the rest of the story.

Keep up the good work, love.
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From promise2003 on April 26, 2007
Okay, I almost didn't review because of the part at the end of chapter 6. I must say that holding your story up for review-ransom isn't a very appealing tactic to get reviews (you might be actually scaring away potential reviewers by saying that). I know that often as a writer we can feel down because we don't think we received enough reviews, or that our hit count is low, etc. As quickly as you update, you should realize that sometimes that will affect how many you get (not giving people more than a day or two will make the # of reviews you get per chapter go down). I read this story when it was only a chapter long, and I'm just now getting around to reading more. Give people time, they'll get there eventually.

Here's my review on how the story has progressed:
I agree that looking for a beta would be helpful. There were quite a few obvious mistakes within the last few chapters, and the story felt a little rushed. The last chapter's plot was a little out there. I'm not a particular fan of the whole Sakura going after the rapists thing, because I liked the story when you had a more light, fluffy direction. If the boys could figure a way to get her out of it, that would be great. I'm not usually a fan of this pairing, but I think that Sasuke and Sakura fit the best in your story, and it would be really cute. I know that my review was rather harsh, but I see a lot of good potential within this, and I don't want to see the story self-destruct (it happens to the best of stories, sometimes they go completely wonky if someone doesn't cut the author off at the beginning of said wonkiness). The best advice I have for you is to take it slower and develop the story more between the characters. Your strength is with your character interaction, so use it.

Please don't just get pissed at this review, I read A LOT of fanfiction and do A LOT of writing, so I'm not necessarily just a casual reader. My strongest advice, slow down, think out your chapters more, outline your story, and know where it is going. It is better to have your plot figured out than letting your reviewers decide it for you. I'd beta for if I had more time (but I have none, all of my projects are on hold because of this), maybe after my next convention I'll offer you my services. I'm lucky enough to have a sister tell me when I've gotten way off course in my stories (not that you are way off course, you aren't), so I want to let you know that you really, really need to slow down, take your chapters and go through them several times. Write them and walk away for a week, reread them to see if they still make as much sense as when you wrote them. I'd gladly wait a week for an update if it means the story would be more polished.
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From ANON - TheFunkyRaccoon on April 26, 2007
Dude this storys awsome ;)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well now this is a bad Situation for sakura-chan
1. Sasuke/Sakura all the way baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. This chapter had a very bad Omens kind o vibe to it but im not sure if you were going for that.
3. NOT SURE WHAT WAS BAD HAVE TO GET BCK TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. ITS AWSOME TO SEE THE SAKURA'S BOY'S STAND UP FOR HER!!!!!!11
SO KEEP IT COMING OH AND SASUKE AND SAKURA SASUKE AND SAKURA SASUKE AND SAKURA SASUKE AND SAKURA SASUKE AND SAKURA SASUKE AND SAKURA PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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From ANON - Anon on April 26, 2007
Dude this storys awsome ;)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well now this is a bad Situation for sakura-chan
1. Sasuke/Sakura all the way baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. This chapter had a very bad Omens kind of vibe to it
3. IM NOT SURE WHAT WAS BAD ILL HAVE TO GET BACK TO U ON THAT ONE!
4. Its always awsome to see the Naruto group rally around sakura!
Keep it coming and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
SASUKE AND SAKUA
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