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Reviews for ? Nushi

By : ursweetheartless
  • From AngelTalion on March 23, 2011
    PLEASE tell me you have finished this and its up somewhere and you just forgot to post it here. THIS IS A GREAT story with amazing potential!!!
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  • From sesshyfreak on May 14, 2010
    in chapter 6, there seems to be an almost double post at what would be the end of the original chapter.
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  • From 4br31 on November 05, 2008
    Hmm, I really like this one. ^^ ***
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 08, 2008
    Chapter 7: Ah. Are things going to come to a head, I wonder? . . . . Sasuke fucked all this up? Really? He fucked up your game, Itachi, but you were already fucking things up. . . . Come on, Sasuke, talk to the guy. Give him a little insight to the damage he’s causing. . . . I like the emotion Sasuke’s showing, but he’s got to direct it at Itachi. Instead, he’s confiding it in him and directing it at Naruto. I feel it should be switched. But then, what fun would the story be if that happened already? ^^ . . . . Now Itachi’s trying to provoke some kind of confession out of Sasuke. God, he’s mean. . . . At least Sasuke thwarted Itachi’s goal at the end. Actually, to say that Itachi had planned that kiss seemed a little farfetched. The didn’t seem to be much to connect that. Or—wait. Did he mean the kiss between himself and Naruto, the one that Sasuke walked in on? Okay. Might want to distinguish that a little, because at first I thought it was saying that he had planned the kiss between Sasuke and Naruto, which doesn’t make much sense at all.
    Heh—wouldn’t it be funny if Itachi’s “words of reassurance” totally backfired?
    “His bond to Itachi was different, born of duty and fealty.” That’s probably true. But it seems to be intimate as well. . . . Raidou, shut up with the brat statements. . . . This scene between Sasuke and Naruto is really touching. ♥ Still, Sasuke needs to knock some sense into his brother, and Naruto needs to be more aware of Sasuke than he has been. And Itachi . . . hell, he just needs to straighten up and quit playing sick little games.
    “And it might even end whatever strife had gone on between the brothers to cause this tension.” Heh. It’d be ironic if it caused more strife, because of Itachi getting jealous. But hopefully the story’ll end happy with them all together. . . . A letter, eh? Cool. This should be good.
    I like that really short bit about Itachi waking up for a minute. =)
    Heh—Itachi hasn’t shown irritation with Naruto since the first chapter of the story.
    It’s kinda cute how Itachi had to tell Naruto to sit in the seats on the plane as it takes off. . . . Oooooh, it’s Saaaaaiii! X3 Great intro and description! =D . . . . I wonder what role Sai will be playing in the story. I hope it’s a good one; I love him. ^_^ . . . . Man, Sai’s got balls to make moves like that with Itachi right there, asleep or not. Wow.

    Alright, I’m caught up with this one now. I’d like to see this story and Someone Else’s Eyes continue, though not confused with each other.
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 08, 2008
    Chapter 6: . . . This just occurred to me: Wasn’t Iruka the driver in chapter 1? I personally wouldn’t call his ponytail “poofy” but the “scar across the bridge of his nose” sounded pretty accurate to me. . . . I like Naruto’s goal about trying to figure out what the problem between the Uchiha brothers is. . . . Very nice description of the differences between Naruto and Sasuke when they spar. =D . . . . Wait—“Sasuke didn’t want to take his shirt off because he knew he would burn, and burn badly, the minute he stopped paying attention.” Paying attention to what? I can understand him getting sunburned, but what would paying attention to something have to do with it? õ.ô . . . . But I like the part after that, when the story expressed Sasuke’s discomfort of showing his body in front of Naruto out of self-pressure of being compared. . . . Interesting how Sasuke doesn’t really look forward to his brother coming home. And really, who can blame him? . . . . “Without a word, and with an expression that would permit no argument, Naruto helped the boy to his feet [. . .]” Coming from the “pet,” ouch.
    Did he fall on it wrong? . . . . Boy, that sucks when it’s your good hand. . . . You know, I read somewhere that it’s not really normal for someone to call their younger brother “otouto”; they usually reserve that for when they’re talking about the sibling, but not to the sibling directly. I think when Itachi said that one line in the manga—“Foolish little brother”—that was an exception; I think he only said it that time to put distance between them. It’s normally considered rude to call him “otouto” directly; they usually call him “Sasuke.” Just something I picked up; I myself am not Japanese, so I can’t say how true that is. ^_^;;; Also, I can’t find the parts where Sasuke calls Itachi “Aniki”; I’ve only ever heard him say “Nii-san” or “Uchiha Itachi.” Okay, back to the story. >_>;;;;;; . . . . Why is Itachi so rude to Sasuke? . . . . Aww, poor Sasuke. ó_ò . . . . Say, where are Sasuke’s parents?
    Interesting distinction—“In his Master’s absence, Naruto had relaxed a lot, and he’d felt like Sasuke might just be the closest friend he’d ever had.” It shows the difference between when he’s a pet and when he’s nearly an equal. . . . “and Itachi had nothing but the best intentions where his otouto was concerned.” (*snort*) Uh-huh. 9_9 . . . . Oh boy, Itachi wants to watch them spar? That’ll be scary. . . . Man, what a jerk. I hope payback comes in the future. Itachi needs to be humbled a little.
    Man, what a sadist. . . . Open your eyes a little, Naruto: Sasuke’s not going to be friendly while his brother’s around. He probably wants you to be his friend as well, but so far he’s just seen you as Itachi’s lapdog. . . . (!) Uh-oh. Itachi’s either baiting Sasuke again, or he’s showing his true colors; he sounds similar to Naruto’s previous master in that line he said. Or does it amount to the same thing, baiting Sasuke and showing his true colors? . . . . Interesting about Itachi’s reasons for choosing Naruto. . . . “It was strange, but this new Itachi had made him feel colder inside, and a bit heavier.” What new Itachi? He hasn’t been acting any different around Naruto, has he? Maybe he was just so used to hanging around Sasuke, that some of Sasuke’s POV rubbed off on him, intentional or not. . . . Itachi did that just to bait Sasuke again, right? I hope Naruto will see that and not get cold feet about doing something about it (like he has been whenever Itachi seduces him). . . . Man, I hope this rift between Sasuke and Itachi and Naruto gets fixed before the story’s over. And I’m still wondering what caused such a rift to begin. How did Itachi get so distant from Sasuke to begin with? . . . . It wasn’t Naruto’s fault, it was Itachi’s fault for being such an asshole, but Naruto could’ve been a little more of a help than he had. . . . Hah! Good point, Sasuke! >:D . . . . Beautiful, Sasuke. Love how he expressed himself. Now if only he could express that to Itachi. ♥ . . . . (!) I didn’t expect that twist. =O I like this. It’s putting an interesting and new twist to the story. [Sasuke suddenly kissing Naruto.] . . . . And I LOVED HIS EXIT! That scene was awesome! =DD . . . . Come on, Naruto, buck up there. Try to think about what you’ve learned. You just gained a lot of information, more than you’ve gotten this whole time alone. . . . Yeah, Itachi, go have a chat with Sasuke; maybe it’ll enlighten YOU. (I kind of like how his game isn’t working out. ^_^) . . . . Huh? Say, what just happened? All of a sudden the chapter’s getting repeated from the beginning. õ.õ
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 07, 2008
    Chapter 5: So did Itachi just get out of the bath? Just before Sasuke sees Naruto drying his hair in the previous chapter? . . . . So Itachi is planning something to do with Sasuke. He knows it’ll stir Sasuke’s jealousy. I swear, this is so close to your other story, it’s like a parallel universe; the same general thing is happening, just through different situations and actions. I like it, but I would’ve liked a warning ahead of time. But then again, that would probably discourage people from reading it. . . . Heh—seems so human for Itachi to just put on a shirt then wander somewhere else in the room half-naked. I like that. ^_^ Also, somehow, it didn’t come across as undignified or totally embarrassing to me. If anything, it made him seem more real and vivid. It enhanced details about him. For some reason, it made his damp hair more vivid in my mind as well as his shirt and the way he walks. A very human and non-threatening presence. =DD . . . . Yeah, this is probably one of my favorite parts of the story so far. . . . Until the last couple of lines, which reminded me that he’s plotting something. For most of this scene, he comes off as very human, but then suddenly he’s the sinister mastermind. Okay, that only proves his good acting skills, but—maybe I’m just a little disappointed at the sudden lack of humanity I’ve seen in him.
    Naruto’s panic for getting sidetracked was kind of cute. And it was for such a short period of time that it hardly made a difference (I doubt that Itachi’ll be irked about it). . . . Is Sasuke ever going to be in a better mood? Not that I frown on his behavior, I love it, I’m just curious. . . . Itachi, that’s mean. Quit baiting him like that. And, “Naruto relaxed a little. If Itachi wasn’t worried then it wasn’t his place to be worried either.” I wouldn’t bet on that. (*sweat*) . . . . Did Kakashi come back? . . . . By the way, you’re spelling “otouto” a little unusually. . . . Sight-seeing. That’ll be cool.
    Yeah, this is just Sasuke’s anger talking. . . . I don’t blame Sasuke about not wanting things to change, and I sometimes express my anger about it like he’s doing now (internally and externally), but it seems a little OOC for him. Maybe it’s because it’s all he’s been doing through the story. It makes him too one-dimensional. . . . “Kakashi would smirk at him, and tell him he was being stupid.” All right, I can imagine Sasuke thinking that because that’s how he sees it, but honestly I doubt Kakashi would do that. He can be a little more understanding than that during really sad moments; he has respect for grief and hormones. . . . Ooooh, mean. (*shivers*) =D . . . . “Itachi-danna requested that I find out what was bothering you and fix it.” Now that was a dumb-ish move in my opinion. In the state Sasuke’s in, that could be a cue to increase the bad-moodiness. Also, it kind of confirms Sasuke’s angry thoughts about Naruto being an idiot. Sasuke’d probably think, “He’s just doing whatever he’s told; he can’t do anything on his own,” or something like that. . . . Interesting insight on Naruto’s part: “Itachi-san hasn’t been very caring, at least from what I’ve seen.” I mean, it makes sense that he would see that. But it probably surprised Sasuke, who’s probably thinking, “How’d he notice? He’s been getting a lot of care!” Then he’d probably get mad that Naruto’s not as much of an idiot as he thought, and instead, he could be more of a challenge. Sasuke’s got a lot of anger built up and it has to go somewhere. . . . Heh—I called it. ^_^ Sasuke’s reaction made total sense. ^_^ . . . . Love the chain of Sasuke’s reactions to everything. It’s very human.
    “He didn’t think Sasuke was emotionally weak enough to take all of this out on a slave like Naruto.” Shows how much he knows, doesn’t it. And it’s his fault for tryhing to be a manipulative bastard. . . . “Still [. . .] he couldn’t help but think of ways to punish his brother later. Whatever he had done was uncalled for.” Is that what Itachi really thinks? I’d imagine he’d be smarter than that. Well, no, wait—smarter doesn’t always mean empathetic or sympathetic. What Sasuke had said had been unfair to Naruto, but understandable. And if anything, I think it’s fair by what Itachi’s setup. Itachi’s apparently using Naruto to get to Sasuke; why shouldn’t it go the other way? Sasuke’s probably not even aware that he’s doing it. But Itachi definitely knows what he’s doing, and he doesn’t like the fact that the other side decided to play at his game. What a sore sport. Anyways, I hope Sasuke doesn’t suffer too much later; he’s suffered a lot as it is. Also, I’ll betcha that Naruto won’t approve of Itachi punishing Sasuke; he probably thinks Sasuke’s got a bit of a point. The question is, will he express that? This is a real pickle, all right. =)
    “And Raidou had excepted with a smile.” You mean “accepted.” . . . . “The boy had obviously been harsh and rude with Naruto, who was only trying to help in the end, end obeying commands given to him.” That logic makes sense. Still, Itachi needs to realize that he himself has been neglecting Sasuke and baiting him to that point; I mean, what did Itachi expect?? . . . . Aww, cute. Itachi’s feeding Naruto. ♥ (*cough*pet*cough*) . . . . “Two more men climbed in before the doctor shut the door, one of which Naruto recognized from the night Itachi had taken him.” Don’t you mean “driver?”
    Hmm, I think the sightseeing could’ve had a little bit more of an intro. What have they seen so far? Did Naruto notice or like any of it? . . . . Ouch. Doesn’t Naruto know how to catch himself with his arms if he falls, so he doesn’t land on his face? õ.õ . . . . Boy, this is just a rough day for Naruto, isn’t it? First the situation with Sasuke, now this. Poor guy. . . . He’s so cute how he keeps falling asleep like that. I wonder why he keeps doing that.
    By the way, how old is everyone in this story? . . . . Already, Sasuke and Naruto are making up. I wonder if Itachi’ll still try to punish Sasuke later. I sort of hope not, but if he does, then it better bring out some realizations for everybody. . . . Love Itachi’s good nature when Naruto almost stumbled. It’s sweet. . . . “And Sakura smiled, bowing deeply before currying out of the room.” Typo on “hurrying”; repeat, typo on “hurrying.” ^^
    “Something that would only help Naruto, and make him a more useful and capable servant.” (!) Servant, he said “servant!” Not “slave,” “servant!” =D . . . . Hmm, that might be a good idea, Sasuke and Naruto sparring (so long as Sasuke doesn’t lose his temper, of course). . . . “It made him feel a little dumb, but he knew Sasuke was also a veritable genius.” Uh-oh. I hope Sasuke doesn’t milk it. . . . Smart move, Kakashi. ^_^ I like how he’s genuinely concerned for both of them, too. And how he’s finding the logical and practical solution to the problem. . . . YAAAY! Thanks for bringing in Kakashi’s views on life!! =DDD ♥ . . . . Uh-oh. Iruka. Kakashi, stay nice. . . . I like the ending. =)
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 07, 2008
    Chapter 4: Ooh, sexy first scene. Just Naruto’s nervousness and Itachi just sleeping there makes it hot. . . . (*blush*) Itachi’s gorgeous. Love his hair. . . . Actually, I love that content part; Itachi seems really content, like he just woke up from a really good sleep in a really nice bed at just the moment when he wanted to, and he’s in no hury to leave. ^_^ . . . . Wow. Nice bathroom, but isn’t that overkill? Or does Itachi like to play around in there or something? ^^ (I wonder if the room for four people will come in handy later, hehe.) . . . . Ooh!—“The currents in the water were hypnotic, and he wasn’t sure how long he had been staring at the ripples on the surface before he realized the tub was almost full.” Excellent. I’m like that too. Sometimes I’ll be doing a task like that, and then just get entranced by some movement somewhere or crack in the floor/wall/something until some internal alarm will give me a little reminder. Anyway, that sentence was really cool. . . . Whoops: “I would be quite pleased to have you wash my back for you.” Don’t you mean “for me”? ^^; . . . . Ooh, intriguing: “He wasn’t sure he could ever live up to what that gaze wanted, [. . .] that could have once been his parents.” Very pretty. It makes me wonder what Naruto sees himself as. It sounds like he’s degrading himself a bit. For all we know, Itachi is seeing Naruto, and Naruto’s just not seeing himself clearly. Like that thing about the plum in the onigiri in the manga Fruits Basket—it’s easier for someone else to see your good qualities than you yourself. . . . I also love how Itachi uses his logic to ease Naruto’s anxiety: “Pick whichever you like, Naruto-kun. After all, I would not have it in my shower if I did not like it.” . . . . Yeah, it’s hard to relax willingly. I like how Itachi seems to understand that. . . . Oops: “but wrote it off as his Master’s choice, which he had to right to question, in his own mind.” I’m a little confused about that. Was it a typo of “no right to question”? . . . . Man-this-is-such-a-tease—(*flails*) . . . . “Naruto squirmed a little at the contact, but didn’t find it particularly disturbing, so he let it go.” Okay. Let me see if I’ve got this straight: He’s bottomed for his previous master before, right? And the story said that he didn’t get much pleasure from it since that wasn’t the purpose, but he did it anyway. Now, with Itachi, he’s feeling a little bit of discomfort. Is this because Itachi’s been so nice to him and not demanding? And it automatically allows room for Naruto’s opinion? Naruto apparently didn’t have much choice before, but now he’s been given more leeway to express himself, so he’s showing his honest feelings about matters. That’s my interpretation of it. Is that about right? . . . . What I find interesting about each of these lemon sessions is that it doesn’t show any arousal from Naruto. It shows slight appeal, but no real arousal. It makes me wonder if he gets aroused at all during these times. It’s interesting. =)
    It’s sweet and kinda sad how Naruto keeps staring out the windows in the story. . . . I liked the very last line of this scene. =)
    Heh—shoulda guessed Sasuke’d be outside. Jealous. . . . Ooh, good part!—“He had no desire to be the one in there, sorting laundry and airing out the futon like some bored housewife. Still, there was something there he didn’t like one bit.” Interesting. So he’s not totally aware of his potentially sexual attraction to his brother? He probably also feels put out at the affection Itachi shows Naruto. . . . Called it—Itachi being there is motivation for Sasuke to work harder. ^_^ . . . . Interesting how Sasuke “wasn’t sure who to blame.” I wonder what brought on the change between then and now. . . . Oh boy, he’s really jealous. And he found a target for it. (*shiver*) I love it when he’s angry. ♥ . . . . “The analogy seemed to fit the boy perfectly.” Now that’s just him being rude. If anything, Naruto’s smart in this story, and Sasuke’s hardly been around him to know anything. I still don’t get what inspired that opinion. Or is it just hastiness because he’s angry and wants to find some excuse to target it at someone, no matter how stretched the excuse is? Seems a little OOC to me; it’s way too early and undeveloped for denial. . . . Another really good one: “There was sadness in his heart for a moment, before he slammed a lid on it, letting anger and jealousy thrive in that vacuum.” ♥ . . . . Hell yeah. Go, Sasuke, go. >:D

    Naw, that wasn’t crappy. It moved things along a little and gave more opportunity to witness interaction. ^_^
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 07, 2008
    Chapter 3: I like the sound of this chapter title.

    “Sasuke was distracted in his lessons without his brother around.” I would’ve thought he’d be distracted with his brother around. On the other hand, having Itachi around could motivate Sasuke to work harder, so it’s hard to say. . . . “Leaving Sasuke to wonder around the complex alone.” You mean “wander.” . . . . Teehee, Sakura annoys Sasuke, doesn’t she. ^^ . . . . “He walked with a slight limp for the rest of the day, one eye pretty much swelled shut.” Oops. She could be in big trouble if Itachi saw that. (*sweat*) . . . . Heh, I got a little fangirl thrill at the line, “Sasuke came to him the next afternoon [. . .] and requested that he help the Uchiha get ready for it.” It’s probably because I haven’t seen much of Sasuke in this story yet. He’s heard about but unseen. =) ♥ . . . . (*smirk*) Sasuke’s milking it. Okay, not really, he’s just being a jerk. ♥ But that line before the order—“Sasuke looked like he was thinking.”—that line makes me wonder if he’s up to something. Probably not, but you never know. . . . (*snort*) “It surprised him when Sasuke returned [. . .] closely behind him.” XDD Surprised me too—(*blinks*) Why doesn’t he tell her to go away? . . . . “Oblivious or in denial about the insult he had just made to her.” More likely she’s in denial, but considering how robotic she acted earlier, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was oblivious. . . . Say, I know Sasuke calls Naruto an idiot a lot in the manga, because he’s seen the way Naruto behaved then, but what inspired it in this story? . . . . Ooh, that was intense, Naruto being caught staring. Love how pointedly Sasuke said that line. It doesn’t really give away amusement or displeasure, just observation acute enough to make someone uncomfortable. ^_^
    Yeah, I’ve always wondered about Sasuke’s hair. ♥ . . . . “And he had assisted a lot of finicky guests in his old life.” I’m not sure if the “old” was necessary. It makes him sound old. Okay, maybe he’s seen a little more than the average person his age (I dunno, has he?), but it still didn’t sound right to me. . . . Love how Itachi keeps playing with Naruto’s hair! ^^ . . . . “Naruto flushed slightly, leaning into the contact, his eyes fixed on the table in front of Itachi, waiting for any command given to him now.” (*snort*) He’s not a slave, he’s a pet. X3 . . . . Ooh, he’s ~jealous~. =D . . . . By the way, is it just me, or is this EXTREMELY similar to Someone Else’s Eyes??
    Naruto’s so cute when he nods off. Itachi sees him as a pet, I swear! . . . . Poor Sasuke. He’s gonna make it rough on Naruto later, isn’t he? . . . . “Itachi’s voice was smooth, and Naruto could taste the small smile on his master’s lips.” Good. . . . So is Itachi sitting somewhere or lounging or what? What’s his position in the room when Naruto first enters? . . . . That’s amazingly sexy how Naruto’s slowly undressing Itachi like that; it makes me feel the reverence that Naruto has for him and how Itachi just seems to suck it out of me. In fact, I don’t think I’ve pictured Itachi so vividly as I’m doing now. It’s almost like I’m the one in close contact with him. He feels so real. Not even some of the best fanart I’ve seen has come close to this. . . . Love the slow and minute details that really drag this out. They’re done well, making it vivid. It’s slow, and almost calming, but there’s this very slight, buried part of my heart and brain that’s just hammering and racing like crazy with anticipation. There’s something intimidating about the gentleness. It’s possibly the almost-hidden understanding of OBLIGATION. . . . Good line: “Slowly feeling out what his Master liked and disliked through a system of trial and error.” It’s easy to imagine Itachi liking something, but I wonder what he’d dislike in that act and how he’d show it. I know he wouldn’t show it harshly, but that’s what makes me curious. Still, I’m glad that that part wasn’t overloaded on detail. . . . I haven’t pictured an orgasm quite like that one either when reading these fanfics. It’s because all parties involved are so caught up in the moment or trying to ignore it. But somehow this one gave a vividness of what the other person’s feeling while at the same time being a little detached. A vividness that I haven’t seen in many other lemon scenes. . . . “The older boy.” Still young enough to be considered a boy, though. Weird. . . . (*gasp*) That was sexy as hell when Naruto kissed his stomach. O.O . . . . “Why don’t you change into your bedclothes now, and we can get to sleep.” Actually, bedclothes are sheets and stuff like that; clothing for the bed itself, not the person. What you’re thinking of is nightclothes. . . . Sasuke’s going to be really pissed tomorrow, whether he knows the details about this scene or not. I kind of hope Itachi’s not using Naruto to get Sasuke closer to him, because it would be way too close to Someone Else’s Eyes.

    One of the best chapters so far. ^_^
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 06, 2008
    Chapter 2: Heh. Itachi likes playing with Naruto’s hair, doesn’t he? ^^ . . . . Nice details on how the outfits look on Itachi. . . . Love how you portray Itachi in this. The words are nice, but he still seems sinister somehow. By the way, how come you added the extra “u” in “Haruno”? . . . . Sakura seems a little robotic in this story. Why is that?
    Heh. Knew one of these guys would be Sasuke. Who else? ^^ I like the words in the argument, by the way. They’re interesting. =) . . . . (*snort*) “Why are you in my kitchen?” I guess technically it could be his, but man, that sounds so possessive. ^^ . . . . (*choke*) Oh my, Raidou’s introduction of Naruto to Sasuke! “He’s your brother’s new toy.” OoO Gawd, that was so loud. XD . . . . Really cool paragraph: “That was the biggest difference between [. . .] It made him nervous.” =D . . . . Wait—“disguised as a slave?” Hmmm. . . . Love the harsh language of everybody, by the way. . . . Whoopsie: “My name is Hatake Kakashi, I’m the boy’s tudor, and a friend of Itachi’s.” Actually, it’s “tutor”. . . . Boy, Raidou’s language makes me nervous, the way he talks about Naruto. (I hope Kakashi won’t be too weird in this story.) . . . . Love Sasuke’s moodiness and Kakashi’s little summary about Sasuke. ^_^ . . . . Okay, Raidou’s scaring me, but I can forgive that, since I don’t focus on him a lot.
    “He had tried for the rest of the night to find Sasuke and apologize somehow.” ^_^ I take it that he had some trouble finding him. Sasuke’s good at not being found when he wants to be alone. ^_^ . . . . “Naruto blushed when he caught himself wondering if the boy was a virgin or not.” (*blush*) Me too. . . . “Still, the boy was undeniably attractive, and it was hard to ignore it.” Don’t we know it. ^_^ . . . . Cool, Sakura’s got a crush on Sasuke in this story. . . . (*snort*) “Itachi-san loves his brother, but he likes to wind him up and watch him go.” X3 Poor guy. . . . Every line adds something more. “Besides, when Itachi-san is here, Sasuke-san is never alone. It’s either the two of them together or Kakashi watching over the boy, making sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.” I get the feeling that all that watching is just going to add frustration to Sasuke; make him more tempted to do something a little out of hand. By the way, how old is Sasuke in this? I found it a little odd that Sakura called him “the boy.” It’s hard to believe if he’s younger than her, and if he’s her age or older, it seems weird that she’d think of him like that. . . . I like how Naruto considers Itachi his “Master” and the previous one his “old master.” The previous one has no capitals. =) . . . . I like Sakura’s speech.
    I like this bit about how Naruto’s watching Sasuke. I wonder what Kakashi’s teaching him. (I hope it’s not sexy stuff.) . . . . Love how it suddenly got tense. You describe him beautifully. . . . Hmm, what did just happen? Was Sasuke just embarrassed to have discovered somebody watching him? I liked that last part.
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 06, 2008
    (I review as I read.)

    Chapter 1: I wonder if this is an original universe. But I liked the first paragraph, it paints a really good situation. And it sounds like Naruto absolutely adores this guy. It’s probably Itachi, isn’t it, considering that his name appeared first in the pairings warning. . . . All three of those paragraphs were great. The second one gives a nice summary of a background, and the third has the chill of erotica in it. Between them was an interesting transition of how Naruto had come to “serve”. A very rash guesser would say that the man adopted him out of charity, but it subtly transitioned to more than that. The feeling I get is that it’s not an ultimatum—do what I want, or you’re out—but more of an unspoken and assumed agreement that’s best left untested. =)
    Of course, I could’ve spoke rashly about that, considering that Naruto’s got bruises. (*sweat*) . . . . “His master always said he looked more beautiful when he smiled, and here he was like fine art or good food, his own beauty a sign of his master’s good taste.” Very nice description there. It gives a bit of feeling of Existing For His Master. . . . “Possessions.” Hmmm . . . (rude). . . . (!) Is it Sasuke?? Interesting visual image of his voice, though it might’ve been just a little bit much. I’m not sure how it could be toned down, but it was pretty anyway. =) . . . . This repetition of “beauty” makes me think of Anne Rice characters.
    . . . You know what I really like? How I’m not sure who Naruto’s master is and who came to visit. In the previous scene, I was sure that Naruto’s master was Itachi and the guest was Sasuke, but now I’m thinking it just might be the other way around. Both guys have traits that are both similar and different; I could describe one of them and it’d be nearly identical to the other, but at the same time it’s totally different. It’s weird, but awesome. =) Right now, though, I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around, considering that the guest is hanging around with Shisui. Then again, in your other fic, Sasuke was hanging around with Shisui in the present tense before we saw Itachi hanging around with him (despite their past). So I’ll probably find out in a minute and should quit talking so I can continue reading. ^^;; . . . . I think I guessed half-right just in time? That is Itachi? But I was wrong about who the current master is if he’s dead. (At least I hope I’m wrong, I don’t want Sasuke to die). . . . I wonder who the now-late master was, if he was anybody. . . . Wow. That must’ve been shocking for Naruto, considering how much he seemed to adore the man. . . . (*wince*) Yikes, no mercy. . . . I prefer sandals like those to those shoes with that thing in between the toes. (*shudder*) I canNOT wear those. >.< . . . . Alright, cars. Awesome. =) . . . . Cool, I like seeing Iruka here (though I hope I don’t see anything explicit with him). . . . Heh—I liked how you described the car; I just now realized it was a limo. ^^ (It is a limo, isn’t it?) . . . . Ahhhh, hahaha, I like the way you brought in the title of this. Itachi’s last line there was excellent. =D
    Heh—cute, Itachi’s playing with his hair. (Hell, I wanna see someone play with Itachi’s hair. *__*) . . . . Hmm, sounds like Itachi will be a little bit easier on him than his previous master was. . . . Nice description of the woman. Reminds me of Karin. In fact . . . Oh, whoops, my bad, I forgot the “almost red hair,” I was too focused on the “cut unevenly around her face.” I always thought her hair was even enough, though. The “uneven” line sounded more like a description of Karin. . . . Pretty description of the bedroom. . . . I love Itachi’s formal speech when he’s giving directions. It’s beautiful and in charge. . . . Very pretty similes. I’m not sure if it’s necessary for the story (still too early to tell), but who says they have to be necessary? They’re pretty to read about, and they were put in carefully and with thought. They don’t . . . sound like they were thrown in there to me. . . . Heh. Cool. It was a very sensual bit of exploration there, but I’m not disappointed that it didn’t lead to sex. It was beautiful in the way that it just left off there. ♥ . . . . Beautiful ending line. It really set things in motion. Actually things were already in motion, but it had the feeling of SETTING in motion, y’know? ^_^

    Always worth it to me. I like this idea and it has my curiosity. . . . Hmm, het? I dunno if I’d like that or not. If you suck at it, don’t try to force it in there; keeping it offscreen sounds like a good idea, especially if you’re not sure about it.
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  • From KKM on May 18, 2008
    Balls
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  • From sweetciel on February 10, 2008
    I just LOVE this fic! It's so out of the ordinary. I'm still eagerly awaiting the parts that would cause this story to be 'wrapped in plastic and behind the counter' ^_^ Love ya *kissy*
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  • From spoon10488 on February 02, 2008
    very interesting chapter. I loved the Sasuke drama. I'm glad Sasuke and Naruto and growing closer together.
    =)
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  • From Deandraquin on February 02, 2008
    I just want to say I love this story. I can't wait for the next update
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  • From DesperadoSweetie on January 14, 2008
    I really enjoyed this chapter but I am not sure if you are aware but this chapter ended and then repeated the whole thing again.

    I keep wondering if Sasuke is jealous of Naruto because Itachi just isn't (and hasn't been) spending time with him or if it is because he wants to be the only one for Itachi (Uchihacest). I know for me, I am just hoping that it is the former instead of the latter (I am not a fan of incest) but even if it is the latter, I will still enjoy this story because it is just way to good not to. Besides, I know the pairings are ItaNaru ItaSasu and SasuNaru.

    I wonder how does Naruto feel with Sasuke calling him a slut? And you put in here that Naruto loves Itachi, but is it just a love a slave has for his master or a romantic love? Hmm, I will just wait for those questions to be answered.

    I look forward to your next update.
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