Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for D/s Naruto

By : Hestia

From ANON - SevenSatans-Belial on December 02, 2007
I love where you were going with the whole HiaKimi relationship in the lost chapter. And I'm not saying that you should replace the old one but, it would be super special awesome if you would finish and post the HiaKimi chappie. I could promise some fanart for HiaKimi and mabye more later. XD Anyway. . . Your awesome keep it up!
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From sweetciel on December 01, 2007
I liked both of of the missing chapters. I liked the re-make of the Gaara/shika chapter. The original....i love you. I would totally like to read the continuation of the Hia/kimi story. I'm glad the it didn't end. So many couples would not have gotten together if it did. We all worship you. ^_^
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From gazelovr on November 27, 2007
I'm so glad that you got your hardrive back! How the hell did that happen anyways?! Things to be thankful for, huh? Onto the unfinished chapters. [I]Personally[/I], I liked where you were going with the HiashiKimi old version chapter but I also sort of like the new version too. I would probably say finish writing the old version and see if it leads you in the same direction as the newer version or just combine the two someway. As for the GaaraShika I didn't care too much for the old version. It was like I was reading a completely different story. Shika seemed too romantic and gave in way too easily to the dress and pearls. Gaara seemed a little soft too. I would have thought that he'd punish Shika if the only reason he was unchained was because he was laughing (I hope that made sense). [U]Did.not.[/U] like Shika's old whiny, naggy mother either. I loved how in the new version Shika's mom was a real ball-buster. I think Gaara and she could come to really get along and respect one another, maybe Gaara could even share some pointers on whipping techniques, but they really should butt heads in the beginning. And the garden party, mooncakes and finger foods seemed too fluffy, something more suited to Deidara or Kimimaru. For Naruto and Sasuke, what about it they actually [I]dated[/I] while Sasuke's healing or just getting to know more about each other. Maybe drop some hints of Sasuke's past to Naruto or some other drama such as Naruto thinking he sees his father on street one day, and after deciding on why his dad left him (something paltry like a whorish woman who ended up steeling all his money or something from Judo tournaments only to find out she was really in love with a rival and she ruined him?) he actually will run into him on street. Or maybe Naurto's business booms and he hires an apprentice and is caught up with that while Sasuke deals with the finer workings of Naruto's foundation. I would really like to see some more of Ibi/Gen/Rai and it's been quite awhile since we've seen KisIta, maybe get more into HiaKimi and what's going on with NejiSai and KankShino. Sorry if this wasn't any help to you, but you should know that this story has invaded my very life. While Thanksgiving was underway all I kept thinking about was Sasuke with a ball gag, blindfolded and tied up with rope in such a way as to have his legs drawn up and splayed while being stuffed like a turkey. I don't really think stuffing would a good thing to use but I didn't really think of what would be good. In your "epilogue" Sasuke didn't seem to know about the Prostate Popper maybe that would be suitable. Also, have you ever considered putting Sasuke in the rope bondage that is tied around the neck and forms triangles over the breast area and ends up tying the hands/arms behind the back? I haven't really explained it very well (I'm sure I have a pic somewhere),but I'd love to see him in it. I had him in this during that stuffing situation I was talking about. Sorry this is so wordy I just really wanted to express myself tonight. Sorry, sorry!!

P.S. Keep up the great work!!!

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From ANON - maggiepyro101 on November 27, 2007
as for the chapters i like the ones you already have up.

i wouldn't skip the whole week because that skips for everyone and you would end up needing to say what each person did during the week. i think mainly Gen/Rai/Ibiki .
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From ANON - -xyz- on November 27, 2007
HI,
great that you got that hard drive back.

I prefer the chapters that you wrote at last not the ones you rediscovered. For one, I prefer the phone discussion of Gaara and Shika's Mom where Shika's dad calls back.

The epilogue was really cute though I thought Sasuke got his collar too hasty. It felt a little hurried to the end though that seems partly intended by the characters.

I just LOVE GaaShikaGaa
and all the other pairings!

Great story!
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From ANON - sM on November 27, 2007
I love the story "as is" and believe everything happens for a reason.
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From Reyn on November 27, 2007
Wow, the old epilogue goes after ch. 5? That can't be right...

Hmm...of the two old chapters, I like the original/lost/found 86 better ^^
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From suzannecmc on November 27, 2007
well congratulations on your hard drive finding it's way out of the black hole!
you must be so happy!!!

have to tell you, your second renderings of "the lost chapters" were much more engrossing.
a thousand times better when you were put on the spot and produced sexier and funnier chappies the second time around:)

your epilogue however, was right on the money!!! Perfect! Wonderful! but I'm a little saddened to have read it now.
OK...you can put it in after (or maybe before!) you get everyone to the wedding. we are going to the wedding?

so take your time, how you want this to unfold will come to you:) no worrries:)
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From LindyStar on November 26, 2007
Wow! I'm so super happy for you, getting your harddrive back; what a journey it's been throug, eh? Anyhow, for what to do with the 'lost chapters' I think what you did was fine: just to post them as they were and tell your readers what they are, and then incorporate the parts of those chapters that you want into your new chapters.

As far as what to do with the story (i.e Sasuke)...*evil grin*

To cum, or not to cum, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the body to suffer
The deprivations of outrageous piercings,
Or to take arms (or hands, or mouths, or other body parts!) against a sea of hormones
And by opposing satiate them!

Errr, now that I've bastardized Shakespeare....I don't think you should ignore Naruto and Sasuke for the week; perhaps in this time they can get to know each other better, fall in love on a deeper level, learn about each other's past some more, (and this would be a great place to work in the part where Naruto gets the sapphire for Sasuke's collar) or whatever or maybe they will have to stay away from each other because they just can't keep their hands off each other and everything always devolves into hot and heavy sex or makeout sessions, or maybe they can try to stay away from each other only to have that plan backfire when all either of them is able to do while not together is have the other invade their thoughts and make them even more wild and horny. OR! maybe Naruto can give Sasuke to Iruka for some training/punishment for not being able to keep himself from being such a huge cock whore unable to restrain himself from trying to molest Naruto...but no, Kakashi and Iruka's relationship is in a state of flux, too much is changing right now and that might not be such a good idea. Plus, I'll bet the newly-engaged couple will want to celebrate this new development with LOTS OF HOT STEAMY MANSECKS (XD)...Anyway, just bouncing some thoughts around. Keep up the good work! *le sigh, I wish I could turn out more chapters for my fic, but the muses seem to be hating me right now!*
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From Allys on November 26, 2007
Hey Lovey!! Sorry about the lateness, I'm rennovating my room and currently have no privacy,
and LOL, I know better than to read this story in public anymore XD.

*Hugs* I love that you posted the epilogue, it's fantastic and if I missed it I know a lot of other people did as well,
although, you may have scared some people, LOL, hell you scared me for a minute when I saw the word epilogue in the chapter descriptions, XD.

As for the found chapters, I like the new Hiashi/Kimimaro one better. This one has less of the warmth and fluffiness that the old one had,
not to mention the solo was hott as all XD. But I did like the little skit with the servants. Hmmn... maybe you could keep both.
Since the second one starts with reflection maybe you could keep it and just change the ordering around a little.
Um, LOL, that would probably be a lot of work though XD. So if I had to choose between the two I would pick the new one,
but it's up to you I'l love the story either way and there will lots more opportunities for stunned servants and proper Hiashi domination.

The Gaar/Shika/Gaar *snicker*, that still sounds like cheesy porno music to me XD. I Love it XD.
Anyway LOL, although Gaara describing Shika's state was hilaious and Shika in a pretty dress and pearls is a BIG FAT MUST,
I say keep the new one HANDS DOWN. Shika's mum as a dom is just too perfect, and mentions of a collaring have my heart thumping away merrily.
Not to mention him teasing Shika while he was on the phone XD God, made of win and love. That only better the second time around,
and the ending was priceless.

As for Sasuke and Naruto, please don't skip and don't make me wait *glomps and huggles* This is my favourite soap opera type story!!!
I mean look at the structure. There are all of these loosely related characters in complicated relationships that revolve around a buisness.
There are tragic back stories and beautiful beginnings and fairytale endings all over. It's moving at a day by day pace, there are an awesome
amount of chapters and LOL, there was a time when they used to come one a day and that's when the soap idea stuck in my head.
Not to mention that it's soooo terribly addictive!!!!! And in the grand tradition of soap opera's have Naruto go to Tsunade and
get some magical healing cream or some such shit, LOL. I mean it!! If people can die and come back to life, there can be vampires and
monkey nurses in soaps, and children can stay children until one day they magically turn into adults: then magic healing cream is a awesomely small thing.
LOL, I know I'm being a pain in the ass but please!!! LOL. I don't want to miss out on anything!! Or you could just have them do
adorable things together, like get to know each other and go on another date, set terms for themselves. Any of the above, I don't mind if
they're not fucking for a week, please just don't skip them or leave them out *puppy dog eyes*
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From ANON - HumanInfitltrator on November 26, 2007
Mistress. Congratulations on moving past the 100 000 views mark. Honestly I have to say that you reposting the "follow chapter 5" chapter is disconcerting. It almost gives the impression of wanting to quit. As to the two 'lost' chapters. I like the Hiashi/Kim bit, I think you can incorporate it with the last Hia/Kim chapter, maybe move from the undressing to falling asleep to Kimimaro playing with himself etc. I prefer the new chapter you wrote for Shika's mother's phone call. Please don't worry too much if the boys can't play much. We all know this isn't just about sex. There is the whole foundation aspect to explore as well. Ooooh a chappie showing Itachi being all dom and scaring all the subs, just to prove to himself that he still can. There are so many things that still has to happen. Please don't stop. Oh, sorry, YEAY for finding your harddrive!!!
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From ANON - Anon on November 26, 2007
HAHAHAHAHHA that epilogue was fucking hilarious!
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From Travellyr on November 26, 2007
I just reread chapter 86, and I have to say I like the new one better. The old rescued piece has some good parts, but nothing, NOTHING can beat Shikamaru's awed "I love you, Gaara" after having watched his Master hang up on his mom. XD

Keep the new 86 as is, and perhaps have the old, rescued piece up for curiosity and archival purposes. ^^
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From Travellyr on November 26, 2007
Whoa. It's... wow.

I have no strong opinions on Naruto and Sasuke... skip forward a week or what. :3 I do want to see more of Ibiki, Genma, and Raidou, and Shikamaru's MOM still fills me with laughter. Dinner with the Sunas is looking to be another glorious trainwreck I'd like to see... and I spent my weekend rereading Iruka and Kakashi and Kisame and Itachi. Mmm.

On Naruto's dad... sometimes the simple things are the most WTF and hardest to deal with. I always thought he just... left. Just left, because martial arts was more important to him, and there wasn't a place in his life for a son instead of a student. It could be more sordid than that, that's just what I assumed had happened.

Hiashi/Kimimaro- my opinion is either to work it in or forget it... but leave it up in a "lost chapters" part in case anyone wants to see.

Gaara/Shikamaru- HEE HEE HEE HIS MOM! I love Shika's mom. I think the new version of his mom's initial answering machine is better.
XD Though Gaara getting her to hang up was pretty darn GREAT. Still, I don't think new-version!mom would have hung up like that... unless it was some sort of scream of rage before coming over there to bash some heads.
So... this was sweet, and I like it... though I like the other too. Ano... roll dice? ^^; 1,2 = replace, 3,4 = blend, 5,6 = ignore? But it's cute and sweet... Hm. ._. I'm no help, I'm afraid.

The exposition in the old epilogue is fascinating... but it also makes me smile. Yes, you did have a bit more to tell us...
“So this is the necklace of a supreme god? Hmmm, he knows me better than I thought.”

“The boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” said Naruto and a lovesick look crossed his face.
*bursts out laughing* Someone certainly has no problems with self-image.

Then Sasuke and Jiraiya vs. Naruto- FAITO! XD Geezus, that's excellent. This has to stay up SOMEWHERE, heeee. :D
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From ANON - nsg on November 25, 2007
I'm glad you brought back "The Old Epilogue". I really liked that chapter.
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