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Reviews for Mine

By : Jelp
  • From ANON - mako-chan fan on October 07, 2007
    oh my gosh. i've never read any fanfic with sasuke and sakura actually fighting over naruto. and the storyline is great. honestly, good job. i'm totally going to wait for the next chapter to come out!
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  • From ANON - thatwassarcasm on October 07, 2007
    Dear 'Jelp',

    This fic was rec'd this morning in a comm at Livejournal. I was highly dissappointed in the person that recommended the fic and subsequently, the writer- that's you. This was what I had to say over at LJ:

    "Thanks for the rec but DEAR GOD, NO THANK YOU.

    I'm sorry, but this is a TERRIBLE fic. Horrible concept and horribly executed.

    It's wrong on SO many levels. Where should I begin? Lets start at the top with the literary elements. Their speech is one-dimensional, the author writes in a disgustingly passive voice and it is overly formal and thus unrealistic- their only saving grace from such stiff writing is if english was not their first language. I hope to god, that this is the case.

    I'm going to gloss over the idyllic situation she has presented us with and nevermind the characters' blatant OCness. Oh and plz, lets just forget the cliched sex scene!

    Lets just skip to the part where Sakura, also disgustingly passive, just lets a rape happen and then continues to talk cordially with the criminal. What kind of assbackwards friend is she? This offends my FEMINIST SENSIBILITES to no end. Honestly, that is my beef with this fic. I don't even like Sakura but her behavior is really just OVER THE TOP. What kind of message is this fic sending? About Sakura? About asian women? About women in general???

    There is NO excuse for this. NO EXCUSE.

    Sorry, but I HIGHLY DOUBT that this story will get better with the passing chapters. Ever. Not even if it was re-written by, like, an actual writer.

    This was a horrible rec. Don't do it again. I'm very glad you didn't write it, and don't worry, you are not the only one that is going to get chewed out about this. I'm going to cut and paste this argument in its entirety over at "Jelp's" site too.

    Dear God, I have half a mind to spork this fic."

    I am appalled at this fic- at the quality of the writing and the concept. It's not b/c of the rape- Lord, no. I write rape fics and dubcons like it's nobodies business-it's just that this fic was so unrealistic, I nearly vomitted on my keyboard. I don't know what you were thinking when you wrote this.
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  • From susanna on October 07, 2007
    I hope that you are going to continue this story... :-) You cannot leave it at the point it is at the moment... and as I found it as a recommendation in a sasunaru-community, I hope that it will end with this pairing.
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  • From ANON - ArtDuncan on October 07, 2007
    //Naruto's grunts grew louder as Sasuke seemed to drive himself deeper within Naruto, hitting the intense bundle of nerves within the blond shinobi//
    It's a prostate. It's a gland. Not a bundle of nerves. That's basic physiology which is better to rely on than a common fandom error. Other than that you've laid the groundwork for a fairly interesting plot.
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  • From ANON - mango on October 07, 2007
    oh my goodness ;-; i've been waiting for this!! i gasped out loud when i saw it up x___x

    i love it so far. i love that sasuke is the home wrecker and not sakura. XD;
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  • From ANON - Huck on October 07, 2007
    You're one of my favorite authors. I absolutely adore all your stories, and I'm so glad to see you're continuing this one. Please update soon!
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  • From LadyRonin on October 06, 2007
    thanks for the update of tis story. now that restless and nameless are over i was just waiting for you to start putting up chapters of this story and i was not disappointed. even though sakura is not one of my favorite characters i had to give it to her for paralyzing sasuke, that was a nice move. the battle for naruto is on baby. and even though i now that sasuke will ultimately win i can't wait to see the crazy things you have planned ahead. can't wait to see the next chapter.
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  • From Allys on October 06, 2007
    OMG!! LOL, this is so psychotically sad and fantastic!! YOu rock my world all the time XD. Sometimes I wonder if you really even have to try?? I don't know what I want from this story. I mean I'm NaruSasuNaru all the way baby!! But what Sasuke is doing id just wrong!! I mean they should be together but he should have told/asked him, then they would have had a fighting chance. As things stand now it's going to hurt so much!! I can only hope it's one of those oh so good hurts. Knowing you I'm going to be craving for this as well. Keep up the great work love this is just... wow XD.
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  • From abigailpa on October 06, 2007
    Wow I love tis story the conspiracy and the underlying tones of Naruto loving sasuke in return i just don't know what is coming next PLEAAASSE xcontinue!
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  • From bluegenjutsu on October 06, 2007
    Loved the new chapter!! Sakura sure got Sasuke back, didn't she? XD But I'm rooting for Sasuke to get his love! :)
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  • From blueh on October 06, 2007
    you must post chapter 3 up no matter what! >.< it's such a brilliant story! i stress on the 'must'. pweety pwease? i'll give you lotsa cookies... or anything that you like! ^^
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  • From ANON - Damp on October 05, 2007
    I really like this story!

    At first, I didn't think I liked it, not cuase of the fact that Naruto was married to Sakura, but because he was married. I thought for sure Naruto was cheating on her, but to my relief, he wasn't consciouse (That doesn't nessisarily make it a good thing.) of the whole thing. I feel uncomfortable with the whole idea of a marriage and one of the married couple is cheating. I hate those kinds of plot lines. Thank goodness this isn't one!

    -Damp *Nice job!!*
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  • From ANON - qwerty on October 05, 2007
    When is Naruto going to find out and who is going to stay with?
    update!!
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  • From ANON - Tedabug (not logged in) on October 05, 2007
    Yea, Sakura, that's the way to protect her man! This chapter and overall story is outrageously brilliant. Poor Naruto! I both pity/hate Sasuke for what he's doing and feel for Sakura. This story is so original!
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  • From ANON - Jien on October 05, 2007
    update soon!!
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