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Reviews for Our First Time

By : YellowFlash

From Tleilaxu on March 20, 2007
Interesting, and pretty good for a first time writer. More sex please, and with Kage bunshins.
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From BlazinAtsuma on March 20, 2007
Nice chapter I hope you keep writing. Make it a bit more interesting and tell us more about how they got together.
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From nimistar on March 20, 2007
nice, hope you continue it. we need more good naru/hina stories.
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From KrickItat on March 20, 2007
Ahh really good stuff!

im glad to see you put something up here way to go and congrats!

Only thing is you need to put more breaks between your paragraphs. The whole story looks like one giant paragraph, i dont know very much more of this and i might start to like naru/hina
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