Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Breaking Apart

By : cloudydayz

From ANON - Anon on March 18, 2008
Chapter 9: �I didn�t know that he could purr like this.� Cute. ^^ . . . . I like Naruto�s thoughts; they�re interesting. . . . All of Naruto�s thoughts were interesting. I was so absorbed in them that I couldn�t point out little things. I like this dialogue afterwards too. . . . Huh? Payback for what? Man, he�s mean. . . . Ewww, Shikamaru and Neji? I�m not yet ready for that. XP . . . . Oh, it is so your fault, Sasuke! . . . . This is cool. Naruto�s reactions to everything in this kind of surprised me, but you caught that and made it work.
To the response to animehead: Can you write lighter stuff that�s not necessarily fluff? I mean something with dark elements but also light elements? The Sound of Dreams by Zrina has a good mixture of those, I think.
To the response to Kativachan: Shikamaru and Neji? Thanks for warning me.
To the response to SharinganEyes: Cool how it might take a while for Sasuke to get his control back with a big IF. Maybe that�ll teach him something.
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From ANON - Anon on March 18, 2008
Chapter 8: I totally forgot this was unbetaed. It�s damn good for something unbetaed.
Yup, Sasuke knows about the Kyuubi. But what the hell is this about a deal? . . . . (*shiver*shiver*) Mean, mean, Sasuke�s so mean. No wonder no one said no to him, he�s fucking good at this! (�Scuse my swearing.) . . . . Now we get into D/s. Cool. That�s another one I�m iffy on, but you brought it in well. Only this is probably kind of illegal (like Sasuke cares). It�s kind of a paradox: real D/s is more like a game, while this D/s is more real; this doesn�t have the advantage of safewords. . . . �Interesting response?� Perhaps, Sasuke, perhaps. But not unexpected. The guy�s totally confused. . . . (*snicker*) I�m totally captivated. Funny thing is, I�m listening to �Coldhearted Snake� while I�m reading this. It might be helping me not sink into the black hole of despair. But I�m really enjoying this story. . . . He�s one hell of a seducer. . . . Sasuke likes blood, does he? . . . . �Your neck?� DANG! Does that mean deep-throating or just rubbing against his neck?! o_o . . . . Oh yeah, I like this part. (*droooool*) . . . . You slurred his words really well. I�ve never seen slurred words look so pretty or hot, I swear. . . . Huh? �[. . .] what feels like heaven could quickly turn into hell.� How so? . . . . Believe it or not, they both seem a little more lighthearted right now: Naruto�s challenging Sasuke, and Sasuke�s amused. . . . Hey, um, you described Naruto�s d*** just now. But you did that earlier, and the descriptions don�t match. (*checks back*) Yeah, chapter 5: You said �2 inches in diameter.� Now it�s 3 and 1/2 inches in diameter.� �_� . . . . So how big is Sasuke then, if you don�t mind me asking? . . . . Wow, that scene was awesome. For a second there near the end I thought, �How�s Naruto stroking Sasuke�s hair? I thought he was tied up!� But you caught that. ^_^ This chapter ended surprisingly sweeter than I would�ve imagined.
To the response to tiger-lily: SERIOUSLY?! He�s not?! Awesome! =D
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From ANON - qwerty on March 16, 2008
What an emotional rollercoaster
Great writing skills
update
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From ANON - Anon on March 14, 2008
Chapter 7: (*snicker*) �Sasuke laughing is just odd.� Yup. Love it. ^^ . . . . It�s weird, I keep trying to put myself in Naruto�s place during all this, but every time I try, I get the wild urge to just break out in giggles. Not that what you�re writing is funny at all, I think it�s just my nervousness and anticipation. (*sweat*) . . . . OW! Shit! >.< . . . . Normally I hate this kind of thing. But you make it enjoyable. I�m not a sadist or a masochist, but this . . . I dunno, there�s an art to this. Believe it or not, it�s not as bad as one would think. Maybe I�m just in a good mood right now, who knows? Either way, I�m liking it. . . . I notice that you censored �fucking.� You hadn�t before. I wonder why now; what�s the significance? . . . . Clever. �I don�t move away. I am too afraid to move.� Most people would have him flinch away or even move closer in craving, but you made this different. I like it. =) . . . . MAN, YOU ARE LIKE THE QUEEN OF S/M OR SOMETHING! YOU TOTALLY TURN THIS INTO A SICK, ENTICING FORM OF ART! I SWEAR! O_O
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From ANON - Anon on March 14, 2008
Chapter 6: I�m just curious: Is the Kyuubi going to have a part in this story? Like maybe turn the tables on Sasuke or something? Sasuke knows about the Kyuubi, right?
�And my old ones � well, they never really cared anyway.� DENIAL! I refuse to believe that shit! �_� . . . . Interesting idea, �I am pain.� . . . . This is captivating. . . . Holy crap, another abrupt ending! What the hey! Are we ever going to get to it?! (*flail*flail*) >_
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From ANON - Anon on March 14, 2008
Chapter 5: And there�s the opening of the story. So this is where we�re at. . . . This is exciting, but chilling! (*frets with anticipation*) . . . . Intense dialogue, and I love the pauses. . . . (*shiver*) . . . . And all that deception of trust just goes zooming down the toilet, eh, Sasuke? . . . . Uh, whoopsie: �Naruto does put up any fight as I tie him to our bed.� You forgot the n�t in �doesn�t,� right? . . . . (*tremble*tremble*) . . . . (*SHIVER*) Sasuke�s scary. He�s apparently very good at making someone crave pleasure and pain together. . . . Holy jeez, what a cliffhanger! God, that chapter was short! Wow. o_o
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From ANON - Anon on March 14, 2008
Chapter 4: Shino�s kinda the problem, Sasuke, but you�re more of one. (*smirk*) . . . . I love how Sasuke�s mentally growling under his breath. Grrrr. =D . . . . Too bad, Sasuke. You should�ve seen this coming. . . . Sasuke doesn�t get that he�s the one Naruto�s afraid of most. . . . �I will not have you live in fear of any man.� So you�re not a man, Sasuke? =) I love this story! It�s excellently written! . . . . Hah! Sasuke�s panicking. (*smirk*) . . . . To bad, Sasuke. To some extent, you did want Shino. Otherwise you never would�ve gone there. . . . [to Sasuke] Dude! Shino hasn�t fucked up anything! You fucked it up! . . . . �Hn . . . but I am not anyone.� Sasuke thought that same thing in one of the first chapters of the manga, just before he fought Kakashi. And look who came out on top. . . . Okay, is Sasuke supposed to be invincible or something? How the hell did he make his chakra poisonous? �_� . . . . Sasuke couldn�t see that it was a clone? I guess rage can blind even the Sharingan. . . . Cool technique! It�s got Kabuto beat all right when it comes to regeneration or healing! =D . . . . Oh man, that�s so unfair! Sasuke obviously thinks he can do anything while Naruto can�t! Meeeeaaaannnnn!!
To your response to Goldie: So it is going to get better? I�m gonna hold you to that. >:D
To your response to Ursweetheartless: I totally agree about Sasuke being hot when he�s insane. He scares the shit out of me, but he�s still hot.
To your response to Sophie: I�m REALLY going to hold you to seeing this fic through to the end! It�s way too good to leave hanging! >:D
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From ANON - Anon on March 14, 2008
Chapter 3: Interesting idea, �he doesn�t think to wake up.� . . . . Cool, he has to half-mask his chakra. . . . Naruto�s sudden fear of Sasuke�s chakra. Is this because Naruto�s scared of Sasuke in general? . . . . Interesting idea, �I can�t dirty him this way.� In other words, he�s more concerned about Shino�s scent rubbing off on Naruto than of Naruto actually noticing it? (He�s probably concerned about that too.) . . . . Sasuke hates liars. No, he hates it when someone lies to him Cuz he�s been doing a fair amount of lying lately, as well as his partners probably. . . . Ahhhh, so he was imagining Naruto! And it�s just bad luck that Naruto had to pick this night to check things out. . . . Sasuke has no clue that Naruto found out? . . . . Yikes. . . . It�s interesting how both guys are perceptive in some ways but oblivious in others. That�s human nature for you. And they�re both perceptive in ways the other probably wouldn�t think. . . . Jeez, Sasuke�s scary. . . . �He will learn or he will suffer.� And so will you, Sasuke. So will you.
�Sasuke�s rage?� Scary! o_o
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From ANON - Anon on March 14, 2008
Chapter 2: First, your disclaimer: �I am writing this for fun.� (*shivers*) Scary.
Duh, Sasuke�s watching. I wonder if he�ll follow them. . . . Wow. Shino�s got nerve to betray Sasuke like that. . . . If I�m not putting a lot of sentences in, it�s because I�m absorbed in the story. . . . Whoa, that�s a cool question: �How can you want something you already have?� Does that mean that once Sasuke has Naruto he won�t want him anymore? That�ll just end up in a circle, cuz if he loses Naruto he�ll want him again. . . . Oh, wait. Shino just answered my question. This is a really good dialogue. . . . Wait a minute. No one else believes in love? What the fuck! . . . . Yeah, really, why shouldn�t he break Sasuke? . . . . �What would he do to me?� The point is, Naruto, is that you don�t let him do anything to you. That�s the point. . . . �Do not make your life a living hell if you don�t have to.� Yeah, right, apparently it already is just that. God, that�s a scary thought, to think that it can get much worse. . . . Ooh, love this line! �You have no idea how deep the waters are that you are swimming in.� Awesome! I�m gonna remember that one! =D
Okay! This chapter went way better than I had imagined!
To one of the review responses: SasuNaruSasu? So Naruto�s going to do Sasuke at some point? Goodie! =D . . . .
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From ANON - Anon on March 13, 2008
Chapter 1: Interesting pattern: You give us a small paragraph, and then you go back to explain how it came to this situation. Hmm. It doesn�t always work in books or movies, but so far it�s been kind of interesting. . . . Naruto still has some remnant of that hard streak he�s always had before. Only now it�s a little cynical. Just a little. . . . And he�s perceptive, too. . . . �Bringer of pain.� I�ve always said he�s a royal pain in the ass to everyone who encounters him including his creator, but I�ve never thought of it that way. Similar thing, though. . . . Whoa, that�s a weird sentence: �[. . .] until I know how far I trust him to hurt me.� Weird, but intriguing. And this paragraph makes me wonder: Does Sasuke love Naruto? In some morbid, twisted way? If not, I hope he comes to love him. . . . So this is S/M of the psychological kind, eh? That�s scarier than the physical kind. Way scarier. . . . Oh, cool idea! Chakra being camouflaged! Makes total sense! =D . . . . Damn. That�s . . . new. To me. But why�d it have to be Shino? And his eyes are closed? Naruto can actually SEE his eyes? EVERYBODY CELEBRATE!! . . . . Nah, Shikamaru�s a pretty good real friend to Naruto. And Neji�s not bad either. And it�s actually natural for Kakashi to visit; he was Naruto�s sensei throughout his ninja career, after all. God, I hope Sasuke didn�t sleep with Kakashi, though; I honestly hope Kakashi has just been checking up on Naruto. . . . So Sasuke�s a whore and a horndog. Okay. . . . I wonder if Sasuke�s thinking about Naruto, though. Oh, that son of a bitch Shino. I mean, honestly! Why?? . . . . GrrrROSS! . . . . Yeah, really. Shino of all people. XP . . . . I love Sasuke�s voice too. . . . What the hell happened to that even tougher streak in Naruto? I would�ve thought he�d�ve gotten over his trauma in Orochimaru�s lair; he�s a tough guy! But I guess for the sake of this fic. . . . But please tell me that was the last we�ve seen of Shino screwing around. (Probably not, I bet. �_�) . . . . 8-pack. Those exist? . . . . Sasuke looking like Itachi is always weird to me; I think he looks cooler when his long hair is wild and untamable. ^_^ . . . . �No one will hurt you while I am here.� Except you, I�m thinking. . . . COME ON, NARUTO, DON�T TAKE HIS SHIT! THROW IT BACK AT HIM! YOU REMIND ME OF HINATA DURING THE PRELIMINARY EXAM! D:< . . . . �I will never let you go.� And I trust that you won�t, Sasuke. You have a habit of clinging to people you�re obsessed with. So does Naruto, actually.
Oh, please tell me the talk won�t be too bad. I like seeing your review responses; they make me feel a little better. ^_^;
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From ANON - Anon on March 13, 2008
(I review as I read.)
First of all, I really want to read this fic despite all the dark warnings. But I�d have to be in the right mood for it, so reviews might be slow in coming.

Prologue: Nice beginning. It caught my attention.
Wow, there�s a lot of tension in this scene. I like it. . . . 4 years? Jeezus, that takes dedication. But I guess when Sasuke sets his mind to something, he can go about it for years. You write really well, by the way. . . . I love the obsessed-possessive character; ever read Ceres: Celestial Legend? My favorite character happens to be like that. . . . �Can�t let it go.� Let what go, I wonder? . . . . Oh. My. God. (*stares*) And Sasuke wants him, but . . . I can see his problem. And Naruto�s. . . . Yeah, Orochimaru deserved it. . . . Wow. I love Sasuke�s description of vengeance. Really cool. . . . Holy -- shit! That had to take a TON of patience! And I thought Itachi was scary! (*shudders*) He�s got nothing on his brother. . . . Wait. Orochimaru waited for him? What happened then? And 4 times? Jeezus Christ! O_O . . . . �Even long after he was dead?� That�s sick. That�s -- totally -- sick. I wonder how Tsunade looked at Sasuke knowing all this stuff. . . . Ewww, gross. Sorry, my mold hasn�t cracked so far as Shikamaru! XP . . . . Gawd, Sasuke is evil! . . . What the fuck? Female organs that were fully functional? �_� . . . . Okay, I�m glad that Sasuke�s motives changed. . . . Oh man, Shino; that�s waaaay worse than Shikamaru. I�ll never get the hang of the idea of Shino. (*violent shudders*) . . . . Oooooh, that�s scary. I get the feeling that this fic is NOT going to end happy. Even so, I�ll still state my hopeless wish here: that it ends up better than I would think. >.< But you�re a really good writer
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From ANON - Lynn on March 06, 2008
Wow, this is just such an awesome fanfic. It is so captivating. I wasn't sure at first - I thought it was going to be just an abuse Naruto fic, but I love that Naruto is a strong man that slowly healing the damage done to him. I don't know if Sasuke can ever make up for cheating on him, for wanting to break him before though. Do you plan for this to have a happy ending?Please update soon - do you have an email update list? If so, can I join?
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From Mako75 on March 05, 2008
wow... This is so great! i love it! Their obsession with eachother is truly stunning! That it has crossed the line to sick obession is very believeable, considering what they have gone through, both in this fic and what's happening in canon.
You've done a wonderful work! ^3^
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From ANON - Omnni on February 29, 2008
Love it. Hope there will be more soon.
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From ANON - Ivy on February 26, 2008
Hope everything is going well and that you update soon!!!
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