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Reviews for Breaking Apart

By : cloudydayz
  • From ANON - SasuNaru723 on August 09, 2008
    Hey cloudy,

    So what’s the scheduled for ‘Breaking Apart’? There hasn’t been any activity in over months. I’m sure you’re swarmed with work and other things to do since its summer, but is there any chance of chapter 18 coming out before October?

    Always a fan,

    SasuNaru723

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  • From ANON - Ivy on June 27, 2008
    Hey, what's going on with this story? Its been like FOREVER...maybe a little melodramatic but its been months and this is just such a rich, taleneted plot that it would be a major bummer if you don't finish. Hope you get inspired soon ^_^
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  • From ANON - Ichiro on May 22, 2008
    hey, i wanted to reveiw your story cause i really like it. also i wanted to ask how you add a story, i would like to add one myself but i dont know how to do it.
    again you have a great story!! if you could email it to me, i have my email address attached to this reveiw
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  • From ANON - garfield on May 19, 2008
    One more thing: Did no one ever tell Sasuke it's not wise to piss in his own pool? How arrogant to think he could fuck the entire village and expect Naruto to be kept in the dark! That verges on plain stupidity!

    And Sasuke isnt crazy! NOOOOOO. He is psychotic, psychopathic, pathological - serious flaws apply to him here, not mild ones!

    I'm scared that because Sasuke realises at the end of Ch 17 that Naruto intends to give him ONLY one night(where I'm at now) that he will sabotage Narutos ability to leave him during the course of this single night? He is tooo possessive to allow Naruto to leave tomorrow! Or does he realise that he loves him, just enough to let him go? No? Urgh... I hope Naruto's frienship with Gaara is Naruto's salvation and Evil Sasuke's punishment..oh gods...just update...I CAN WAIT PATIENTLY :)

    GARFIELD

    love always
    garfield
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  • From ANON - garfield on May 19, 2008
    If art is intended to make us feel, and literature is art, and fan fics are literature then you are on your way through the process of creating something of a dark and macabre masterpiece.

    I have just read chapters 1 to 17 today. I have felt sick, literally nauseaous. My heart aches for Naruto. My mind screams at Sasuke. I desire an evil Sasuke as much as I loathe him. I loathe a weakened Naruto as much as I desire him. I hate Naruto's betraying "comrades". But I know Naruto is NOT weak, that he is resilient...you have allowed us some hints as to what is to come...

    You have created a Sasuke that I believe would exist. He IS cold. He IS callous, selfish, cruel. He IS dangerous, more to the spirit than to the physical, because he is damaged, and because underneath it all he is "weak", and shameful.

    Your version of Naruto: at first I didnt like it! I hate a wussy Naruto, a damaged or weak or dominated Naruto! But I see what you may be doing. You have entertained the "underneath' with him too. He has a strength of character and a powerful shinobi body to be resilient. Please keep him strong. I want to see him have the fortitude to "break" Sasuke!

    Even though I know that Sasuke really does love him, he deserves to know how it feels to lose Naruto, to be punished for everything Naruto went through. I love happy endings, but I am not adverse to "realistic" endings either. Please keep updating...PLEEEASE...PLEEASE...this is an excellent story and I desperately need closure!!

    love always
    garfield

    **never fear, Sasuke is queer**

    (also at Live Journal as HSBS)
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  • From hisoka on April 20, 2008
    sasuke will never cece to scare me and neither will naruto with disturbing me in his twistend decisions but its all in a fasinating way,hope you can update soon
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  • From ANON - Ivy on March 29, 2008
    I just reread the chapter and caught this part I didn't notice before... “I know your terms. And still I couldn’t resist this, even if it is just for one night.”
    So does that mean Sasuke knows Naruto is going to leave him? I can't wait for the next chapter... I have to see how this plays out. Its like a soap opera but actually intelligent, sharp, and teeming with darkness ^_^ Update soon!
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  • From ANON - babykaoru-sama on March 20, 2008
    I usually never review, but I had too. I love your story, I hope in any future chapters Garaa will pair up with Naruto for a little bit. I think GaraXNaru are cute together too.
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  • From ANON - Anon on March 19, 2008
    Chapter 16: Love the whole paragraph, “I have to admit, a contemplative Sasuke [. . .] not really.” =) . . . . Heh. Love the paragraph about Sasuke’s curiosity. It might just kill him one of these days. . . . Mannnn, this description is awwwwesommme. . . . Come ONNNNN, NARUTO! Don’t wimp out on this! FIGHT THIS MOTHERF***ING SONOFABITCH!! HE DESERVES, OH, SO MUCH PAIN! (I can’t believe I’m saying this about my favorite character in the manga! õ_ô) . . . . Hmm, maybe justice is still forthcoming after all. I just hope Naruto sticks to the plan to leave Sasuke. That’ll be what clinches it. . . . “He shifts his face so that his ear is pressed to the side of my neck.” That’d make an awesome fanart. . . . He so deserves pain. Un-fuck everyone, Sasuke, and maybe I’ll forgive you. (Don’t let my tastes keep you from your path, though, cloudydayz. This fic has reached some major emotions in me.) . . . . Boy, that’s some charm you’ve turned on; even I feel drowsy and content. Mmmm. . . . I don’t know how Naruto can just put away angst and remorse like this; I could never do that. Once I remember, it stays until I forget about it. . . . “And I never go back on a promise.” Not sure what to make of that. I like it, but I’m not sure if I want to hold Naruto to that or not. Only if he’ll benefit from it in a good way. . . . Heh. “Naw, that bastard will have the rest of his life to sleep.” Yeah, uneasy sleep. . . . That’s funny, Naruto enticing Sasuke. Love it. ^^ . . . . Sasuke’s really going to miss this, isn’t he? Makes me almost feel sorry for him. Almost. But not enough. I’m not softening like I usually do. . . . Cool, element analogies. ;) . . . . Ohhhh mannnn, love that description of Sasuke. (*blush*) You couldn’t’ve put that description in a happier fic, goddammit? T_T . . . . (*BLUSH*) (I’m gonna have a seizure if this keeps up.) Man, that’s erotic. . . . This is scene is amazingly sensual. I love it. . . . Love the whole humming thing.
    Oh, GodDAMMIT! You just HAD to leave it there, didn’t you! Arrrgh!! D= Not coooool. . . . (*groans*) >.< I’m gonna have to reread this next time I wanna review. And while I don’t mind rereading it, I won’t be able to read it in the same mood you’ve set now! T_T
    To the A/N: Okay, I can understand your intent of not wanting to rush it. That’s cool. . . . But STILLLLLLL!! T_T T_T T_T
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  • From ANON - Anon on March 19, 2008
    Chapter 15: Oh no. Please don’t tell me that he’s going to figure out that Naruto just let himself be captured. Or maybe that’ll be a good idea; maybe it’ll scare Sasuke (doubt it, though). . . . Heh. Sucker.
    You are so right about Sasuke, Naruto. . . . Aw, shit! I want REVENNNNGE!
    Oh boy, storm incoming. . . . Ehhheheheheheh, he’s been wat-ching-youuuu, Saaaaa-sukeeeeeee. >:D . . . . I’m glad he feels sick. He deserves so much pain. (I think I said before I’m not a sadist, but this is justice.) . . . . I love the drama that’s built up near the end of this segment. And then the emphasis on that question at the end.
    That’s a cool idea about Kabuto: “He was so fascinated by anything foreign and new.” Makes a lot of sense, too. . . . Oh, so that’s the reason why Naruto had the ability to have children. Okay. I’m still a little WTFish about that part of the story, but okay. . . . Love the way Sasuke described what he did to Orochimaru and I love Naruto’s reaction and his growing realization that Sasuke’s crazy. . . . That’s cool. “Why does that make me feel so powerful?” . . . . You know, I’d kind of like to see the scene in possibly a sidestory of Sasuke raping Orochimaru; how he caught Orochimaru, how Orochimaru reacted through the whole ordeal, what he was seeing in his mind when Sasuke put the genjutsu on him. . . . Heh, understatement of the year, Naruto. ^^ . . . . Although it is kind of gruesome how they’re both laughing about how one of them raped and tortured some guy to death (whether he deserved it or not). (*nervous giggles*) . . . . Oh boy, oh boy, Sasuke’s finally feeling love, and it’s right before it’s all going to go to hell (from what it looks like). I’m not sure if I want that to happen or not. Like I said, I’m a megabeliever in justice and revenge, and I want Sasuke to hurt a lot for what he’s done to Naruto. In fact, I want him to suffer so much, I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied. He’ll have to un-fuck everybody so that they’re virgins as far as he’s concerned for me to be totally satisfied. (At least all the people I know. Every. Single. One. Of. Them.)
    To your response to Sealink: I believe that you’re normal. If someone has weird thoughts or plots in their head doesn’t make them sick or weird or whatever. It’s what we act upon that makes us truly in need of help. ;)
    To your response to Sunlight159: Sucker for happy endings, eh? I’ll be counting on that bit. ;)
    To your response to Anon: “Besides, slightly insane people need love too.” Slightly! You call this (*points to story above* 9_9) SLIGHTLY?!?
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  • From ANON - Anon on March 19, 2008
    Chapter 14: Boy, I’d love to see Sasuke like this. . . . See? See what you’ve done with your philandering, Sasuke? See? He’s not going to trust you as much as he did before (which wasn’t all that much, really). . . . “Equal,” huh? Better, but you seriously ought to be “superior.” He has it coming. . . . F*** you, Tsunade. ..;.. . . . . Yeah, seriously, Tsunade. What are you thinking, making Sasuke a hunter? You outta your f***in mind? . . . . I thought ANBU were hunter-nin in a sense. I like your description of what Hunter-nin are, but that sounds also like ANBU. What’s the difference? . . . . Whoa, is Naruto serious? If he’s not, I hope to God he’s being really careful here; he’s playing with cave lions and fire with gasoline here. But at the same time, I’m totally cheering him on. >:D . . . . Heh. I’m starting to read the dialogue out loud; a sign that I’m really enjoying it. (*grins*) . . . . “But you fucked that up by fucking everyone else.” I couldn’t’ve put it better myself! >:D . . . . Oh, please tell me Sasuke just put the clamps on himself. . . . Cool. Naruto = peace, Sasuke = war, Neji = mediator. . . . Please tell me Naruto will triumph and Sasuke will fall. Please. >.
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  • From ANON - Anon on March 19, 2008
    Chapter 13: (*snicker*) “Except for the ever-present ‘drop dead’ vibe he gives me.” XD “Yeah, I hate you too.” XDD . . . . So Hinata’s got more of an authoritative presence? Hmm, not sure if I approve, but okay. . . . Interesting portrayal of Neji. . . . Sasuke’s seriously not considering that he might have less to fear of someone getting “in between them” than it actually just breaking? (. . . Saying that reminds me of the title of this fic. Is that only in relation to Naruto’s psyche, I wonder?) . . . . Oh, that makes sense! “Exposing Neji [. . .] chakra signature [. . .] more deadly.” =D . . . . Yeah, well, too bad you had no control when it came to the other ninja, Sasuke. (*smirk*) Sucker. (Sorry about the character bashing, but Sasuke seriously pisses me off in this fic. He deserves everything I dish out.) . . . . Awesome depiction of Neji. . . . Hell, yeah! Cool metaphor! “They’re like night and day, but they represent the exact same day, just different sides of it.” =D . . . . Oh no, Sasuke. No. You betrayed Naruto waaay more than you believe. Sex with Neji wouldn’t’ve betrayed Naruto any more; it would’ve betrayed yourself. . . . LOL, “Because, let’s face it: as my partner, seven out of every ten problems he has in life are caused by me.” XDDD I totally believe it! Even if Sasuke were in another fic or just the regular manga, I always call him a “pain in the ass to everyone who encounters him, including his creator!” As Zrina said in The Sound of Dreams, “Issues are standard packaging.” XDDD . . . . Ohhh, good one, Neji! “You mean you’re not ready. Naruto’s been ready for months.” =D . . . . Sasuke doesn’t want to admit that those are his problems more so than Naruto’s. . . . “Either way, I am so close to losing Naruto, my Naruto.” Because of you, Sasuke, because of you. (I’m probably not gonna let up on him.) . . . . “Clan speech?!” CLEVER! I LIKE THAT! I’M GONNA REMEMBER THAT!! =DDD . . . . I’m gonna go over this again later. How long have you thought this out, this thing about clans? I love it! =D . . . . Oh, wow, that’s so cool, about Sasuke begging for mercy = stop my heartbeat. And instead Itachi let him live = killed him. (*shakes head in wonder*) That is amazing. And not everyone could’ve explained that half so well as you have. . . . And you once again bring in different “languages.” Cool. . . . Awesome contrast between “slave” and “child.” Man, you’re good! . . . . I think this is my favorite chapter so far. . . . Neji, I love you. I love you like I have never loved you before. (*gazes in awe*) . . . . Yes, yes, yes, YES, NEJI! DO IT!! (*reading the “Should I” paragraph.*) . . . . Yeah, go home, Sasuke. I wonder what he’ll find there.
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  • From ANON - Anon on March 18, 2008
    Chapter 12: Hey, you got a beta! =D
    Sounds like Gaara’s succeeding, Sasuke. . . . Interesting about the “jutsu racket.” . . . . (*snicker*) “There are no other solutions, jackass. Cooperate so I can go back home.” XD Tough shit, Sasuke. . . . Oooooh, ouch. Good one, Gaara, stick it to him. >:D . . . . So Ino was the missing-nin? Too bad, I like her; I think she’s funny. . . . Interesting idea about the motives for war. . . . Or so you think, Sasuke. Your behavior and the way you’ve treated him might just push him away. His hard streak has woken up, thanks to your actions, and he’s one of those people that can fight you to near exhaustion. He’s coming out on top (I hope). . . . Sasuke seems more worried about Naruto leaving him than of someone possibly taking Naruto away from him. Does he have some understanding that that is the more likely possibility? . . . . Oh boy, he’s totally lost it. . . . Heheh, I love this line: “In this state a genin could finish you off with one move. So, damn it, pull it together!” He’s got a point. . . . Hell YEAH, NEJI! The tranq! =D . . . . Interesting line: “Neji is far too . . . fair to understand men like us.” I like that one. ^_^ . . . . Please tell me that Gaara is just the concerned friend who wants what’s best for Naruto and that he doesn’t have any weird ideas. . . . Oh good. . . . What Sasuke doesn’t seem to realize is that he doesn’t necessarily have to lose Naruto “to anyone.” He might just lose him, period.
    To your note to animehead: Seriously? “No angst?” That person must’ve read some seriously angsty fanfics in her day.
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  • From ANON - Anon on March 18, 2008
    Chapter 11: “Feigned horror?” It was feigned! Hah! Take that one, Sasuke! XD . . . Oooooh (*shiver*shiver*) Sasuke is NOT going to like this. O.O . . . . “Mission. With Sasuke.” Oh my. . . . I like the curious connection between Shikamaru and Naruto. . . . That’s a good question, Naruto: Who hasn’t fucked Sasuke yet? That could’ve been likely to in this story? . . . . “‘Incident’ with his sensei?” Would that be Asuma’s death? . . . . Is Shikamaru mad because Naruto’s not making it any easier for him? Or might be rubbing it in? õ_ô . . . . So clever! “The language of silence!” I love it! ^_^ . . . . A year. Holy shit. . . . Interesting, Shikamaru’s experience with Sasuke. (Though I’m still not into Shikamaru sexually in any way.) . . . . Ooh, I love this distinction! “He’s capable of love. He’s incapable of showing love. But he can love.” Cool. . . . And I love Naruto’s anger and jealousy that someone else knows stuff that should’ve been only his to know. . . . Not Neji? He slept with girls too? Thank God it wasn’t the remaining Sannin or Iruka. But Kakashi? And Kurenai? That’s waaaay beyond fucked up. And how the hell did he get Hinata?? Or Lee? I thought they were in love with other people! Jeezus, he’s marked Konoha as his official territory, for crying out loud! (*sigh*mumbles*) Why’d he have to sleep with girls? That’s just wrong. -_- How did you choose who he hadn’t slept with? . . . . Okay, raping someone should drive home the fact that he doesn’t care. True, he’s possessive as hell, but Shikamaru could’ve phrased that a little better. You don’t rape someone you care about, no matter what the excuse. . . . Boy, “victim” is right. Trust Sasuke to confuse want and rejection and all that stuff. Thank God the Sasuke of this fic never got to me, he would’ve had to kill me to keep me away. Not even driving me insane would’ve . . . arrrgh, he’s scary. Now I know what Shino meant when he said in that other chapter that “the rest of us know better.” Sasuke made them see that way. Eeeeeevillllllll. . . . Say what you want, Shikamaru, I still don’t get it. Part of my prudish moral code is that forcing someone to act on desires they would otherwise never act upon, or never want to act upon = rape. I’m very touchy on that subject. And I don’t like the idea of you in a sexual situation. And I’m pissed as hell at Sasuke in this fic (which is a little unusual since he’s my favorite character in the manga). And I’m totally confused in this whole dialogue about who to be mad at and who to not be mad at. Thank you so much, Shikamaru. Thank you so much, Sasuke. Thank you so much, Shino. You all just threw my good mood out the window. (To the Author: Really sorry for bitching about this here, but I’m a passionate reader.) . . . . Yeah, I don’t feel so good either at the mention of Kakashi. -_- . . . . “Now that is definitely a question you need to ask Sasuke.” HELLO! He can’t really trust Sasuke, can he?! The guy’s one hell of a liar! (Sorry, but I’m not much of a believer of sex without love or affection.) . . . . Use that control, Naruto! Make Sasuke the victim! HELL YEAH! I love it when Naruto talks about “The first thing I will teach Sasuke.” But, um, if Naruto doesn’t do Sasuke, then Sasuke’ll just look for someone else to screw, so he’ll be getting sexual pleasure anyway. Either way, I hope Naruto triumphs in this.
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  • From ANON - Anon on March 18, 2008
    Chapter 10: Right from the start, this is interesting. Once again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to put in as many comments as I usually do, because I need to concentrate on the story. . . . “In the wrong order.” Clever. =D . . . . Oh, HELL YEAH! Naruto makes a comeback! >:D . . . . Oh wow, that’s a totally clever idea! To let themselves get captured! Awright! =D . . . . This whole scene was done really well. It covers everything and you didn’t even use the flashback technique. . . . So Naruto doesn’t know that Sasuke had no clue for 3 weeks? I wonder if Naruto’s ever going to find that out. . . . Hm? What’s this? “I have been avoiding and, at times, failing to avoid rape since I was five years old.” How the hell? . . . . As I’ve heard in a play once: “One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though . . . betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.” ~ Steven Dietz . . . . “He broke me to remake me.” Actually at first it was just the opposite, wasn’t it? “Sasuke remade Naruto to break him.” Until his intents changed. . . . Interesting how Naruto is only now realizing that Sasuke’s actually living there, not just visiting a lot. . . . Heheheheh, Sasuke, you better watch out, cuz he’s maaaad at choo. XD I liked this chapter! And, eheheh, I guess I ended up putting more comments than I thought I would. ^_^; That was pretty good planning executing! It wasn’t too farfetched and extreme, and at the same time there was enough surprise to keep me excited. Good job. ^_^ I hope to hear some more stuff from Sasuke’s POV as well.
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