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Reviews for Mating of the Fox

By : bloodrain01
  • From Jin on February 10, 2007
    This was a messed up chapter. You kept switching perspective mid sentence. It's almost impossible to comprehend.
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  • From dest on February 08, 2007
    i would have liked knowing that it was hinata in the first chapter. i figured from the summary but i wasn't sure. helps when readin so i can picture it in my mind. good start. it looks like you will have naruto and multiple girls which is great. hope you keep this up and make tenten one of the girls.
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  • From Jin on February 07, 2007
    Pairings I like for harem stories include: Narut/Temari, Naruto/Sakura, Naruto/Ayame, and Naruto/Kurenai. On another note, the writing in this chapter seemed a little rushed.
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  • From Rianestorm on February 07, 2007
    Well, I think you need a beta. It's missing some detail work and grammer, but I like that you're keeping true to the characters. I have'nt betaed in a while, but if you're interested I offically offer my services ;) My e-mail's on my profile if it didn't come thru on the review.

    And, by the way if it MUST be harem it should be Sakura and Ino.

    Love Ya!
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  • From wrathchylde on February 07, 2007
    Very interesting but the bit with Hinata in the clearing was confusing. It's lik it just jumped around and suddenly they were asleep. You need to flesh out the details more. There's plenty of room for it and longer chapters would be a boon to the story too. Either way, I love harems so i'll throw my two cents. The three that need to be in it are Sakura, Ino, and Hinata. Everyone else is just gravy.
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  • From Rianestorm on February 06, 2007
    People are picky. Pay no attention to that other review. Some details were off, but you rock. You are the first one to write my story, and I love you. I am, as we speak, doing a happy dance.


    And as a side note to the first reviewer;

    I posted that challenge this afternoon. So this was, quite literally, a couple hours work. So unless you think you can do better, be nice. And if you can do better, be nice anyway!

    I have spoken.
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  • From Jin on February 06, 2007
    This is strange. The writing and detail is good, but the two people in this fic don't match anyone I know in the Naruto series, much less Naruto and Hinata. Emerald and gray eyes...I don't know who that could be.
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