Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Reconstruction

By : Erisabesu

From ANON - Anon on August 19, 2009
WARNING: While I try to keep a cool head except when passion for a story ignites me, my Biased Opinion showed its ugly head, and I think that despite my efforts to keep it tame, it wouldn’t stay completely quiet. But it’s hard when one comes across minor aspects that they … don’t like, when the rest of the story seems really interesting to them. It’s kind of hard to follow the “Don’t like, don’t read” rule and to me it’s a little silly to completely give up on reading a story over something smaller.

Still, I apologize if I said anything offensive.

(I review as I read.)

Lol, nice opening line. ^^ ____ “Sakura’s steel grip on his forearm also helped deter the urge to beat some sense into everyone who was voting for the death penalty …” Thank you, Sakura. ____ (*giggle*) Hi, Sai. (*waves*) ♥ ____ Oh jeez—Sai, you’re such a tease. ^^; ____ Lol, Sai flicking Naruto’s earlobe. Cute. ^^ ♥ ____ That is kinda weird, about Sai using Naruto’s shower. I’d be confused too. ____ Whew. Thank god that was Sasuke’s sentence. ____ “It was going to be a long, long year.” I can imagine…. Imagine what it’ll be like for Sasuke, though. Restraint is kinda hard for him. Imagine what he’ll be like when the probation’s up. ____ “Tomorrow I’m going to help Sasuke move into his designated apartment. I’m probably going to stick around the village for a while, y’know, make sure he’s… comfortable, I guess.” I like the awkwardness in that statement. Hard to find the right words, and even if they are the right words, it’s just … awkward when discussing doing something for Sasuke. ____ Man, Sai’s a freeloader. ^^ ____ Uh-oh. I’ll betcha Sai will take Naruto at his word on that.
Ooh, alright, Sai’s doing something sneaky again. =D ____ I like this scene of Sai drawing Naruto sleeping.
Naruto’s anxious. ____ “…he hadn’t expected to find Naruto’s presence so overwhelming.” I think it’s been a while and Sasuke may have forgotten a little bit about Naruto. Then again, I guess “overwhelming” is the closest word to the one he’s looking for and it’s a different kind of overwhelming than the one he used to be around. ____ “North Lake hideout.” That’s a cool name. ____ “…though Sasuke knew he was the stronger ninja.” … Mm-hmm. Right. You keep telling yourself that, Sasuke. It just might be true. It MIGHT. Lol, and the next two paragraphs makes it even more obvious that he’s trying to convince himself. ____ Interesting; I like the bit about Sasuke kind of missing Otogakure. ____ Heheh, hello, Kakashi. ^^ I can tell this is going to be a hard year for Sasuke. He likes solitude and he’s going to be followed around by guards. I’ll betcha he had more privacy back at Otogakure. ____ “And this is an apartment, not a prison cell.” “Same thing.” That’s Sasuke just being difficult. If the place is similar to Naruto’s, then Naruto could argue that. ____ Boy, there’s a lot that Sasuke doesn’t remember. I guess it has been a while. And after going into … you know, that “darkness”, I guess it would be hard to get used to being in this environment. And I’m not sure it’s necessary to capitalize the “r” in “ramen” all the time. ____ Heh—I like Kakashi’s “gift”. Sasuke probably appreciates it somewhat. ____ “Sasuke decided it was easier to let them have their way and do what they thought he needed, than it would have been to insist they leave him in peace.” Smart man, Sasuke. =) ____ Oh, cool, I had wondered what happened to that backpack. I thought it went into the barrel with him when he swallowed that drug for his Curse Seal and that he might’ve, I dunno, torn it apart in a violent, rabid rage while the drug was finishing its effects; you know, like right before he burst out of the barrel. ____ Hehehe, Naruto counting down the days. ^^
Lol, Naruto’s undertone says, “This is getting very old very fast.” Wonder how long it’s been. ____ At least Sasuke’s not under house-arrest. He’d be stir-crazy in no time. Actually, scratch that. He’s probably stir crazy enough as it is, considering that he can’t fight or carry weapons or anything like that. ____ Heheh, this was how I read this line: (*reading*) “He glanced at the ceiling above the door, relieved when he didn’t find Sasuke hanging” (*nervous giggles*) “from above, ready to attack.” Oh. LOL. XDD ____ Heh—Sasuke’s probably just still asleep. Wonder how he’ll react when Naruto wakes him up (if that’s the case). ____ Heheh—just being sneaky. ^^ ____ Lol, Sasuke, you tease. ^^ ♥ ____ “Naruto was struck by how tall, dark and deadly Sasuke had become, bewitching in a way that could be called attractive …” (*sighs with longing*) Oh yes, Naruto—he is that. ♥ “…but it was clear that Sasuke was still just as aggravating as he’d been seven years ago.” (*giggle*) Yes, he is that, too. ^^ ♥ ____ I can imagine it being hard for Sasuke to find his feet back here in Konoha. ____ Heh—and the issue Naruto just brought up sounds like the cue for “There is Life Outside Your Apartment” from Avenue Q. ^^ ____ What happened to Sasuke’s hand? ____ Seeing Sasuke read a specific book makes me want to flick through it and see if it’s anything I’d like, lol. I’ve often wondered what Sasuke would read if he did. ____ AHAHAHAHAHA, GOOD ONE, SASUKE! “That’ll be the day.” XDD Man, I’m loving this dialogue! XDDDD ____ Heh—maybe I was wrong about Sasuke being stir-crazy from the restrictions. Sounds like he’s not having too much trouble coping. He just needs to be able to drive Naruto crazy. ^^ ____ Smooth. Love how smoothly the scene changed from silly to serious with that single line from Sasuke: “You and the rest of Konoha.” ____ “Naruto looked out over the tiny yard sheltered from the noise and traffic of the street, and decided not to push Sasuke into the public sphere before he was ready.” Good decision, Naruto. ____ Good thing Yamato’s one of the guards. ____ “But if what Sasuke wanted was to sit outside and read all day long, Naruto thought it should be in a place that didn’t look neglected and abandoned.” Aww, that’s sweet. Sasuke might claim that he doesn’t care, and he probably wouldn’t (or think he wouldn’t), but still, I’m sure that kind of place wouldn’t help if he was depressed or something. Couldn’t hurt for the yard to look a little nicer. ____ Cute. Things are cute between them again. ^_^ ____ Heh—Sasuke felt indignant at that: “You’re not as charming as you think, Uchiha.” Wonder why that affected him when not much else had. ____ (*snort*) Nice way to signal the ANBU, Naruto. XD ____ “… it could take a lot of energy to cope with Sasuke …” Yeah, I bet. ____ Aww, Sai made him dinner. ♥ ____ Ahahaha, I was right!! Sai took Naruto at his word and moved in with him! XDD ____ (*snort*) And from the looks of things, someone’s going to be making jokes about Sai being a housewife. =_) ____ Does Sai watch Queer Eye? ____ Oh yeah, total housewife. ____ Ooookay, now I think Sai’s just teasing him. ____ Hmm, I wonder if Sasuke will be a bit envious when he sees this. ____ Aw man, and now Sai’s all crestfallen. Hard to argue with that one. ____ Ooh, rules with a capital R. ____ Cute ending to the scene. ^^
Lol, love the start of this new scene. It’s all like, “Ah, so nice, so content, how can this be any better—wait a minute …” XD ____ Sai’s … got a crush, doesn’t he? ____ AHAHAHA! That’s GREAT how Naruto doesn’t flip out first thing! Very subtle! ^_^ ♥♥♥ Love his “it’s too early for this” attitude. XDD ♥ ____ (*uncontrollable giggles*) “I’m not going to kick your ass, this time, but I will now explain Rule Number Two.” XDDD Man, I love the way you write. ♥ ____ Ahaha, and it gets better and better! Sai just took immediate action to Rule Number Three! (*howls with laughter*)
Sasuke’s missing Naruto, isn’t he. ____ Dude, Sasuke, get up and get your own lunch, you bum. ____ Love the use of italics to indicate Sasuke’s tenseness. He definitely needs to eat something. ____ (*wince*) So that’s what happened to his hand. Ouch. Kinda sad that it’s gotten some permanent damage from it. ____ Aww, the Curse Seal faded? ó_ò Bummer, I liked it. ____ Oh, come on, Sasuke. You like tomatoes, why not grow some? ____ Uh-oh. He’s going to Naruto’s apartment. He’s going to see how things have changed. He’ll see Sai sleeping in Naruto’s bed (or hear about it and see Sai in another suggestive manner). This could complicate things.
Oh jeez, Sai’s going to start a fire and then feed it, isn’t he. ____ I’m sure Sai doesn’t mind letting Sasuke in at all. A nice opportunity to show off that they live together. ____ “the same height and roughly the same build.” Sasuke grew again and caught up to Sai, then. ____ Okay, Naruto’s going to kill Sai for using that nickname. And if he doesn’t, I will. (*GROWL*) D: ____ Naruto’s not going to be thrilled with Sai if he hears about this. ____ (!!) … Ouch. Man, and I thought Sasuke knew how to wound. Sai can do pretty well himself. I hope Sasuke gets a chance to throw it back in Sai’s face sometime. ____ Little tip, Sai. If you need to fight that much, it’s probably not going to be worth it in the end. It never is. As I once heard Zrina say in one of her stories: “The heart went where it willed, not where it was bidden.” ____ I wonder if Sasuke will eventually acknowledge Sai’s competition. ____ As much as I disapprove of what Sai’s doing, it makes for a pretty good issue. And I’m sure that Sai’s going to be heartbroken if Naruto rejects him. ____ I am curious about how Sai will face this challenge. He can’t rely on books, and this is a pretty tricky gambit.
I wonder what Tsunade wanted Naruto for. ____ I gotta admit, Naruto and Sai are cute together. ____ HaHA! See? I told you Sai’d make a good housewife! ^_^ ____ Lol, it’s funnier when Sai’s not sure if he liked that or not. … Unless … is Sasuke around? ____ Ooh, Sai … bad move. ____ Fuck. It’s going to look like Naruto converted to Sai’s style. Unless he explains that it was a dumb accident. But if Sai doesn’t watch it, he could get kicked out. ____ “It was no wonder he and Ino didn’t get along.” Huh? When did that happen? õ.ô
Keep it cool, Sasuke. Don’t do something you might get in trouble for. ____ I didn’t really expect Sasuke to be there, but it turns out he was. ____ Alright, the Game Is On. ____ “Although Sasuke was relieved—for more than one reason, now that he’d had time to think it through—that she’d found some sort of happiness with Ino in the last several years.” What. The. Freakin. Hell…? That better just mean they’re closer friends. I canNOT fathom anything, aherm, more between them. Ino is totally straight. Kind of a groupie, I know, but for guys. (((Sorry, I get touchy about pairings that have no appeal to me, even though I try to avoid fanwars.))) ____ Love the part when Sasuke’s thoughts start breaking up. He’s panicking a little. ____ “The only trouble was that Naruto had chosen someone else.” According to who, Sasuke? According to the person Naruto supposedly chose? C’mon, man, think it through. Did Naruto tell you that? And why do you think Sai would tell you such a thing? And if he was lying, why play it up so much? He doesn’t like you, Sasuke, so he’s making you feel unwelcome…. (*sigh*) Then again, I can understand why Sasuke would believe what he saw. He tends to believe a lot, usually stuff that really bothers him. ____ “It should make them happy that nobody had died.” Yikes. Sasuke’s scary when he’s in a bad mood.
“I don’t associate with sluts.” Ooh, ouch. Man, that hurt. And it probably threw Naruto for a loop. ____ Heh—good retort, Naruto. Sasuke, he’s got a point. Though I doubt that helps. ____ Roommates, right? ____ Yeah, just roommates. Obviously Ino’s repulsed, so that kiss on her lips was the warning to beat it otherwise things’ll just get worse. ____ Might want to put some warnings of OOCness and mentions of Yuri somewhere. Not cool when it jumps out and surprises you. I don’t get either Sakura or Ino in this. Not in the slightest. It makes no sense to me and it makes me … uncomfortable. I thought Ino was a groupie for Sai. And since when does Sakura flirt like her? It might be a good idea to try to avoid that kind of thing, because, often in the fanbase, Sakura’s often the first woman in line to get attacked. I don’t know how to describe her in the manga, but the fanfiction I see that portray her as she has been in the manga have been the best portrayals of her I’ve seen. Less likely to get attacked. And … yeah, I’m being rude. I’m sorry.
I like the way it’s explained about why Sasuke didn’t want to let Naruto in. Explained from his point of view. ____ Okay, so things are a little better then. And the Game Is Still On. =)
I wonder if everyone’s odd behavior is due to Naruto’s clothes yesterday or if Sasuke did something. ____ Ahahaha, not too bad, Sasuke, but who are you trying to get revenge on? Naruto or Sai? And indeed, how the hell did he do that?
Heh—love how Sasuke just falls in love when Naruto’s mad. ♥ ____ “He didn’t deliberately mess with my stuff so that people would jump to conclusions.” Iiiiiiii dunno, Naruto. ____ Crap. Well, it’s out there a little more now, but Sasuke jumped to the wrong conclusion from the response. ____ Heh—nice kiss, Sasuke. ____ Hang on—“And then Sasuke saw the light bulb go off.” Off or on? ____ Hmm. Okay, so things are a little more out in the open. They just need to be worked out. And what’s Naruto going to say to Sai?
Well. I guess honesty was the best he could do. ____ Boy. This argument is really cool. I love how Naruto keeps countering Sai’s points. And how Sai makes sense logically, but love doesn’t always follow logic. And that’s something he seems to be missing. I especially like it when Naruto says, “This isn’t a book.” ____ God. I knew Sai would feel bad. And I knew I’d feel sorry for him when it happened.
(*sigh*) I guess it was too much to hope that we’d seen the last of them. Sakura was fine in the very first scene at Sasuke’s apartment, but after that, it was like she was someone else completely. ____ “Do you mind if Ino joins us?” Completely. I don’t like being distracted, and it’s impossible to ignore stuff stated in a story, so there’s no choice but to watch. ____ I told you it wouldn’t be a good idea to let Ino in on it! ____ For me, the scene ended with, “I’ll tell ya … but can we get drunk while we talk? It’s been a really, really, really bad day.”
Awww, Sasuke’s asking him out. ♥ ____ Heh—Sasuke’s playing cat-and-mouse with him. ____ I love this line: “And come on—someone has to make sure you don’t go bat-shit and blow up the village or something.” XD ____ Love the “on a whim” argument. And it kind of shows that it’s not all heartless or cold or uncaring. ____ I’m a little surprised Naruto’s not still angry with Sasuke. It’s only the very next day, after all. I know Naruto’s not the type to hold a grudge, but I still think he’d be a bit wary around Sasuke. ____ Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It was worth it. To see this sensual scene, it was definitely worth it. ____ Awww darn. Well, it was still worth it. ____ I dunno, Sasuke, I thought that was a pretty good analogy. ____ D’awww, cuddles. ♥ ____ Once again, a bittersweet compromise. Not only is his career on probation because of the choices he made in the past, but his love life is too. ____ I’m guessing that Sai moved out. ____ Yup. ____ Awww, love that note. And if you asked me, Sai’s doing at least this much right. ____ Yay, the weeds analogy again. =) ____ Soooo is Naruto going to pick Sai over Sasuke, then? ____ D’awww…. I like those new Rules Naruto set up. ____ Hmm. Well. This surprised me. I thought for sure Naruto would pick Sasuke in the end. Or keep Sasuke on probation, but still not hook up with Sai. I kinda feel bad for Sasuke, though. ____ Waaah, I want more details of the sexy scene! D:
Alright, Sasuke, you keep fighting.

Well, I like the moral in the story and the analogies and symbolism. I like the tough decisions…. I liked most of it. Except the thing with Ino and Sakura, which I found to be unnecessarily distracting and OOC. But other than that, the story was pretty good. I hope things work out between Naruto and Sasuke, though. Actually, no wait, scratch that: they’ve got to be together and in love, even if Sai’s there on the side. Still, even if that never happens, I can’t deny that the story was really good.
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From Blackwidina on February 15, 2009
Okay, I have to say that I love everything yaoi tht you've written, but this fic is definitely my favorite. I absolutely loved the way you wrote the interactions between everyone. The battle over Naruto is something that I like personally, because it's one of the facets of my own main fic, but I think it's totally adorable how your Naruto is completely obvlivious for the most of it.

As a matter of fact, I applaud your characterizations for EVERYone. I don't think I saw a single character that I could say was OoC, even Sai(I've noticed that a lot of writers struggle with him.) There were some surprisingly deep moments with Naruto-but hey, he's always had hidden depths like that; it's just a matter of him choosing to express them. The garden bit was also perfect.

Gah! You have me so inspired for my own story now! It sort of follows some of the same lines, though the scope is broader, but you really have made me want to focus a little more on the Sasuke/Naruto/Sai angle; I already thought it was worth exploring, but now I want to really go in-depth!

Gotta go write! *opens Word*

In any case, thank you for the story, and I can't wait to see what you come up with next!

~Dina
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From RyuuOokami on April 06, 2008
Okay since I'm a perv, I kind of wanted them all to be together. Or at least reach an agreement of Naruto-sandwich. *leer*
But it's not over yet! Mwahahaha!
Okay. I guess you've already guessed this but I liked it. The meeting between Sasuke and Sai... Ohh *shudders* The tension!
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From ANON - Anon on December 09, 2007
YAY! i hate when sai gets left out when that triangle comes into play...i'm glad that this is a sainaru instead of a sasunaru!
ASOTA
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From ANON - Deidara on October 28, 2007
It was good....cept confusing O.o

So this the end or is getting more!!
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From Sarryn on February 26, 2007
Excellent story. Clear, precise, and elegant.
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From Touya06 on January 31, 2007
I LOVE this story!!!
Please don't say it's the end. :'(
I want to know what happens, maybe see them all together. ;)

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You did real well with the character personalities.

I felt so bad for Sasuke when Sai was 'testing' him. He got so used to Naruto
coming to see him everyday and now, here he is seeing Sai in Naruto's apartment,
wearing his clothes, implying that they're 'together.' *poor poor Saskue*

Another sad, sad moment was when Naruto was packing his stuff to leave. Sai felt so bad.
He was so confused and just didn't know what to do. He kept apologizing but Naruto just
ignored him and left. *poor poor Sai*

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I loved it everytime Sai would say 'I like it better.' It's like Naruto come on, can't you tell he's hitting on you. :P
It was so sweet Sai wanted a relationship with someone. His smiles and his 'emotions' were actually true around Naruto. *tear*

I was so happy when Naruto and Sasuke started making out at the top of the cliffs. *he he he, Yamato was there*
It was getting real GOOD, but I understand Naruto's reasoning for wanting to take things slow/if not completely stop it all.
He hasn't seen Sasuke for years and it takes time to rebuild something close to what you had with someone if it even resembles
what you used to have.

I have to say, Naruto and Sai running for the apartment was good too. Sai was chasin his ass, literally. ;)
I loved it. He was eager. *ha ha ha*

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I can understand if you don't put Naruto and Sasuke back together. I mean it would make complete sense.

Naruto's thoughts about/to Sasuke:

We had 'something' a long time ago, but you left for your own reasons, not saying what you wanted/needed to do wasn't important, but you still left.
And it's going to take time to work out getting anything back between us. You've been gone for seven years and, I've learned to live without you,
even though I never stopped looking for you. I've just got some new friends and someone that loves me. Someone that's know everything about me. They know
me how I am now, not seven years ago. Now I'm not saying I don't love you Sasuke, but I'm not in love with you. I love Sai. I'm sorry. We can
still be friends, but I don't see there ever being anything more.

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Okay I'm done. I kind of went of there adding my own bit to it. But I just felt like getting that out, it's just your story was so sad
and so sweet at the same time.

I have to say it again.

I LOVED it!!!

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Keep up the good work.
Look forward to reading more of your work.

Ja!
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From bluegenjutsu on January 26, 2007
Wow!! I really loved this story and I loved how you wrote Sai in this. I hope you write a sequel though and have Sasuke win back Naruto, even though I do think NaruSaiNaru is good too. :)
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From anapana83 on January 25, 2007
This was incredibly good! How long did it take you to write it?

This was one of the few fics i've read that seemed incredibly thought out, analyzed, and detailed and what surprised me is that there were no battles or actual smut involved! You cannot stop there. This story has serious potential for further advancement! If not you need to write another SaiNauSasu love trinagle fic, pls. I don't normally beg lol. Took me all afternoon to read but i read it all. Very very good.
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From Allys on January 25, 2007
Is that really the end??? You totally made me cry. I can't really blame Naruto-kun, but I can't say that I'm really happy either. It just hurts my heart. You always write beautifully though, and it's a pleasure to read your stories. And I'm really happy that you didn't write out the smut in the end, don't get me wrong, you write some of the hottest smut around, but I don't think I would have been able to read it, as it is I'm totally destroyed. I think I'm gonna have to go re-read Secrets.
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From celticfx on January 21, 2007
thank you for such a refreshing take on sasuke and naruto's relationship! its nice to see naruto stand up to sasuke and make him accountable for his past instead of jumping right into his bed. i especially enjoyed how you kept everyone in character and found the open ending really enjoyable. will sasuke get naruto back after a year is over?? i'd LOVE to see you write a sequal someday to answer this question. (: either way, i look forward to reading more from you in the future! ^_^
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From roely on January 21, 2007
great story but i love sasu and naru
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From on January 21, 2007
Wow.. This is great!! I was rooting for sasunaru ... but it is still good. are you planning on continuing this or was this a one shot?
Please continue it!!! *Crosses Fingers*
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From DeviousLilDevil on January 21, 2007
oh! just a question: whats going on with "Everyone's Got Secrets"? has it been discontinued or just on the back burner waiting for inspiration to come your way for it? sorry if i sound pushy. ^__^ but i really liked that story and would like to know what its status is...
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From DeviousLilDevil on January 21, 2007
hey, that was really, really good. i like the idea of a SasuNaruSai triangle. i loved your characterizations (fricking Ino was hilarious) and everything was written beautifully. god, i loved that part with Sai and Sasuke. the whole time while i was reading that, i was thinking "the boy is good, THAT boy is good!". jealous Sasuke is a very entertaining Sasuke. lol. anyway, when i first started reading this i was hoping that it would be multi-chaptered but i like the way you ended it with Sasuke counting down the days before he'll begin his pursuit of Naruto's love. thanks for sharing. i look foward to your next fic with these three. ja!
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