Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for December

By : MuseMistress

From Dragon7 on March 25, 2007
Great chapter!!!! I can�t wait to read the next chapter so please keep on writing and UPDATE SOON.
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From yaoiismyantidrug on March 25, 2007
I'm shivering. In a good way. But also in a frightened way. How to explain... hmm. When I read, it feels like there's always *something* in the air, like something is always on the verge of happening, would happen if Kakashi said the wrong thing, or Itachi was just too tired one day, or Kisame didn't smile the right way. Sometimes the *something* is good, sometimes it's bad, sometimes I just can't tell. And I love it.

Loved the section with "the ones preparing him for a life of reading between the lines." That whole scene in the kitchen, the way Sasuke and Kakashi are figuring each other out, the meeting in the park, the description of the scene in the school office - all so, so good. I love the long chapters. The only bad thing about such a long chapter is that I can't remember all the things I wanted to give you props for by the time I'm done. :) (That, and it made me late for work... oh well.)

Can't wait for the dinner!

As for the continuity thing... I tried to find it - really wanted some kickass drabble. Is it maybe concerning when Itachi gets off work (works until 9, but usually shows up at 8:30)? Or when Kakashi makes coffee (4 or 7 in the afternoon)? I just don't know. Maybe I misread something. Grr.

Anyway, awesome, awesome chapter! And I wouldn't review so much if your stories didn't kick my ass twelve ways to Sunday. In a good way. If that even makes sense. Ha ha.
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From Dragon7 on March 24, 2007
Great chapter ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I can't wait to read the next chapter so UPDATE SOON.

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From DirtyDiana on February 27, 2007
I tell you one thing, I have been cheering on possible KakashixSasuke since the beginning insert. Don't much care for what age, be it 9 or 19. I just been on the edge of my seat waiting for something to happen. I'm prevy and love Kakashixanyone besides Iruka fan. I also like Itachi and think he has a deeper character psychology, at the same time I like to make fun of him. I have story ideas for Itachi, one where he is crazy girlfriend and two where he has a long standing desire for Kakashi. Sounds bland without the details though. I love KakashixItachi. Though this story I was weary of reading but I'm glad I did. I love when fan fiction stories have a deeper meaning than I love him, want to give my virginity but angst, angst whatever. It has levels and character "quirks", makes me almost ashamed of writing such a goofy story. My friend often has to reassure me my humour makes it great. Yay for friends. I'll be looking foward to more of this little number. Laters.
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From justdancing on February 27, 2007
now that i'm over my droolin' (took me a couple days) I'll respond properly. First thing I really like about this story (other than the distinct and stylish writing) is Sasuke's POV in the story. It reminds me a lot of "To Kill A Mockingbird" where the little girl is the narrator but the story doesn't suffer for it. It's difficult to capture the pov of a child while still writing in a sophisticated manner (which you do very well). It makes the story more enjoyable. And the details you add make it seem all the more real without making the story needlessly bulky. You mix story writing elements perfectly. I LOVE your characterization and I love how you explain things by showing them. Too many beginner writers simply say "bob is feeling sad" when they can show that "bob" is sad by his actions and words. And once they get past THIS obstical, usually their characters SHOW emotions... but through clich�d methods. Everything is your story is completely unique because you portray it in a unique fashion. I've a feeling you could retell the story of the three little pigs and I'd still be off my seat in anticipation for the end. So pleeeeease continue this story asap! I adore it! I've read your tripwire one and loved that too. I'll have to read your others while waiting for you to update! yay for good writers! makes me want to get off my butt and actually spend some time on a story of my own XD i admire people who take time out of their busy lives to write. please keep at it!
much love,
justdancing
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From justdancing on February 25, 2007
yup. you should update. asap. *sounds of composed demeanor cracking* ...... I NEEEEEED IT!!!!!!!!!! WRITE MORE NOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH WHAT"S GONNA HAPPEN!!!!>????????? O_O
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From on February 14, 2007
You make me want to listen to Dir En Grey...

Anyway, when I first read the summary of this story, I wasn't expecting THIS. I figure that's the point... but I digress...

So far this is very becoming. You write very well and the way you build up your characters is better than some whole fan writings I see out there today. This is a very good read. It's got me excited for the next chapter. I can't wait for the update - I am sure it will be...well, something at least.

TnT
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From yaoiismyantidrug on February 14, 2007
I'm glad I took my time over this one. Soooo good it's scary.

'Sunday, the day of rest and sins and sins that never rest.' *Shivers*

The atmosphere of the cafe is awesome. I swear I can almost hear the dishes clinking. The cemetery scene was just... perfect. I felt like I was there, and I didn't want to be there, but I did, at the same time. I was really nervous when Kakashi was drying off little Sasuke. I was so afraid Itachi was going to bust in any second, I had to take a break for a little while to distance myself before I started reading again.

*Phew*

I'm glad this is going to be a long one. I want to say take your time, because I'm willing to wait for this one, but I also want to say Update soon! because, you know, I like it.

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From Lore on February 14, 2007
I really like your story! It's very good. I hope you will update soon, I'm looking forward to it.
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From LycheeTea on February 13, 2007
LOL I finally read it all...sooo good! My favourite part are Sasukes, its so enlightening and refreshing looking into the mind of a nine year old...but I like it when I read parts of him through other people too... lol Itachi is always warming up to Kisame... well its kinda backwards thing... it was ok until he had expectations..

Anyways look forward to your next update!
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From LycheeTea on February 13, 2007
I've only read one chapter so far but its sounds great, after this review I'm definitely going back to read more. Anyways, I love Sasuke, his so cute, I like the way he thinks, young naive and innocent, his brother and Kakeshi seem to be a never ending mystery to him. Itachi is an interesting read, this is one of the first fics that I've read that actually centers around Itachi this much, its refreshing!
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From yaoiismyantidrug on February 09, 2007
I'm halfway through the first chapter, and I am so impressed I had to review immediately.

This is one of those rare stories you find where the language and details are just right. If you changed the names, this would still be great, you've already done such good character development. I'm gushing, I know. But I am a voracious reader of short stories, I've read literally scores of "Best Of" anthologies in various genres, and this has the feel of some of the better ones I've read. Your writing style in this story reminds me some of Ursula K. LeGuin's short stories.

My favorite line so far: I can't help thinking that if grown-ups still run around naked pretending to be dogs then they probably don't know any more then I do.

Runner-up: I asked him once if he was born with that color, and he winked at me and said he'd show me when I was older.

The section about the blue bowl really did something to me. This hint of the normality of everyday life, of popcorn and yard-sales throws the utter abnormality of the brothers' lives into sharp relief. I love Sasuke's voice - He's such a smart, observant, sensitive child it's heartbreaking.

I love it. I'm going to have to savor this one over a few days instead of just speeding through it to get to the good parts.

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From KiaraNxiar on February 07, 2007
That was really sad! I hope Itachi gets out of depression soon! I feel really bad for both Sasuke and Itachi.
Besides, I have been dieing to read more of December. It's one of my top 5 favorites! You are an awesome writer! So, until next time, ja ne!
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From Dragon7 on February 06, 2007
Grate fucking chapter I can't what to read the next one so please update soon and this time don't take so long.
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From berkie88 on February 05, 2007
what are the pairings going to be in this story? are there even going to be pairings?
ah, the infamous black cat and Kakashi... nice way to add Kakashi's excuses and habits into the story ;-) Poor Itachi and Sasuke. Will Sasuke ever find out what happened? Will Itachi become less distant and quiet? hoping for more because I love it!

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