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Reviews for Happy Birthday

By : anndragera007
  • From sharinganswirl on January 21, 2007
    Oh jeez... I have NO CLUE what the gift is!!! I wanna guess though so you'll update. It's expensive, there are two of them, I'm going to rule out weapons cuz that would be just stupid, I wanna say something carved out of stones.

    Yeah, I have no clue. Very very touching chapter though. I'm looking forward to the next. (sad that it's going to be the last!)
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  • From Steffylove on January 21, 2007
    I hope you update soon =) I really really love this story..
    greets stephanie
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  • From sharinganswirl on January 19, 2007
    Oh Common!!!!!! BAH!!!! Horrible horrible cliff hanger........ 15 pages.... I was expecting some sappy goodness... but only pain and suffering. Very well written, can't wait for the 5th part!
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  • From SilentInquisition on January 19, 2007
    weeeellll, one dollar is roughly one hundred yen, so 10,000 dollars is about 1,000,000 yen. If you want to be more exact with the exchange rate then you can go to an online currency converter. Anyway other than that the story's pretty good. The only problem I can see is that I doubt Naruto would be out and about on his birthday. It wouldn't exactly be a happy time for the village you know and seeing Naruto would just reinforce the fact upon them. Since Naruto's birthday would be the day the fourth died and the fox was sealed. Newborn babe and all. Anyway, update soon ne?
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  • From marquesgue1 on January 19, 2007
    Ha, I really want to hear Naruto ask - ask - ask - ask - ask... although Sasuke is ebing a little bit mean, h could've just put him out of his misery, ne? But Sasuke will be sasuke *sigh*. can't wait for the next update hehe!

    Ja!
    Hina xXxx
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  • From oraday on January 19, 2007
    Oh, by the way, I took your warning to heart and had tissues while reading (and subsequently crying). Hee, I think the fact your writing is able to bring out that much emotion in people is indicative of what a good and creative author you are^.^
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  • From oraday on January 19, 2007
    Wah. I read through that chapter so fast. When it was done, I was like 'it's over?'. Heh, it had me captivated. The descriptions when Naruto let out his frustrations on the post were really good. I think any type of fighting scences are very hard to write, but you did a very good job.

    Um... One thing has been bugging me. I know this is your first story, so it really doesn't have to be perfect, but sometimes, the use of inappropriate tenses really annoys me. It isn't that distracting, but I suggest you don't do it. Read through a book or two and you'll note that most are written in a sort of past-tense omniscient POV. When the characters are talking/thinking, it's suitable (and desireable) to use present tense, but when narrating, keep your tense consistent throughout, i.e, either use present tense or past. For example...

    Unsurprisingly, neither Sasuke nor Sakura *has* taken notice of the difference in their normally loud companion.

    That's from your first chapter. The sentence is grammatically correct, but *has* should be *had* so it will fit in with the tense you're using when narrating during the rest of the fic. An abrupt change like that can be distracting and it kinda sounds weird while reading.

    'Kay, so that's just a constructive criticism, not a flame. I do absolutely love the way you write, I just think that using little tip might make you all the better^.^
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  • From on January 19, 2007
    this is a really good story. i would love to see the end of this story, i would love to see how you wind this story up, it's interesting. i was very sad though when i read part 4. it was good, it was really good. although, i would recommend a beta to make this story that much better. there were some grammer and spelling issues, nothing serious. email me at elf_hanyou@yahoo.com, i would be more than willing to help you out, if you would like.

    other than that, great job my dear. very creative, very original and great job. i look forward to an update!
    ~hanyou-elf
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  • From Mija on January 19, 2007
    *sniffles* you made me cry, no fair...that was just SAAAAD...poor poor Naru baby..wants to huggle him and hold him and never let him be sad again..*wails* yes you warned me to have tissue and I did not prepare myself properly..but ooh that was good, it was sad, but you left it at a totally hopeful ending..YOU GO SASUKE! you go claim your blond and make his birthday extra special, he deserves it..sniffles..ok, I shall await patiently for the next chapter, but I cant wait to see what happenes,,ty ty for the read, twas excellent, ty again, huggles and smiles Mija...:-)
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  • From oraday on January 18, 2007
    'Kay, so I knew Naruto was buying presents for himself the minute you mentioned the present wrapping... Actually, I knew the moment I started reading the fic, the title kinda gave it away. Of course, I fully anticipated some angst when the whole truth of little Naru' buying presents for himself because no one will give him presents came out. But....

    YOU MADE ME CRY!!!!!!

    Ah, it was so heart-wrenching. I think I suffocated my poor little Naru-chan plushy because I was hugging him so tightly. I just wanted to be in Iruka's place comforting the little chibi. No one deserves such pain, but I think Naruto deserves it even less. I mean, it's just so wrong!!!! But it was great. I marvel at your genius and I totally agree with you, I can definitely see this happening to Naruto in the manga... Only, he doesn't have Sasuke to comfort him 'cause that bastard left!!!

    Heh, sorry, the whole time I was reading that flashback scene I just kept thinking about it actually happening in the manga and it made me uber angry that Naruto went through that and the suffering of being betrayed by his best friend/one-true love (crazy fan-girl interpretation).

    'Kay, I'm just gonna thank you for writing such a great fic, even though it's agonizing reading such angst. Then again, I think the angst is just what makes this so great. And damn, I can't wait till Sasuke takes to comforting Naru-chan!^.^
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 18, 2007
    I love this story!

    You got to love Iruka-sensei, I am glad for him being there for Naruto on his Birthdays!!
    So Naruto has a crush on the Sharingan weilder! I can't wait to see what Sasuke will
    do with this information.

    Great Job!Update soon!
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  • From marquesgue1 on January 18, 2007
    Poor Naruto - well, I'm guessing that after part 4 he won't be spending his birthday's alone, ne?

    ^_^nice chp. update again when you can
    Hina
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  • From roely on January 17, 2007
    im so curious who b-day is it?
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  • From Mija on January 17, 2007
    ooh noooo the cliffy of doooooommmm ok must know what happens next..pretty please??? why is Ruka so worried????
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  • From marquesgue1 on January 17, 2007
    I agree with your sister lool - can we have the next update soon please? I'm really liking this fic, poor Naruto (and since I read both chp today) damn woman at the cash register, Naruto should've ------ okay, homicidal tendencies coming through lol, I'll think I'll just leave it at that ^_^

    Nice,
    Hina xXxx
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