Adult-FanFiction.org : Naruto

Reviews for Bared Naked

By : AkashaEmily

From on January 25, 2007
I have no idea where you are going with this story...AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT!! XD Usually I wouldn't because if I don't know what's going on that means the writer isn't putting the details in, or writing well, or employing good use of transitions. You're piece is easy to read and is chalk full of lovely details. I thought that this last chapter is even showing a greater skill and grasp of writing than what some of the earlier chapters had (though maybe that's because you took the time to edit? You know, I have a prof. that says the true act of writing begins when you revise--rough drafts is just dabbling, revising and reworking make you a writer--something like that...) Anywho, I really like the way you're writing this and I like that you're not giving anything away, but at the same time, you're not hiding things from the reader either. We can 'see' what's going on even if we don't know how to interpret what we're seeing yet. That is very, very well done.

With that, I accept the convention of your time bubble because regardless of whether it could fit into canon or not, you are being consistent with the build-up of the world you are portraying--and in fanfics, that can be more important than staying true to canon.

Again, the best Kitten!Sasuke fic I have read to date. Now I will cross my fingers and hope that the updates keep on coming! ^_^
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From wizgrl14 on January 17, 2007
Yaaay, you updated, sweet! Hmm, Naruto is getting a fever, and it has something to do with the nine tail fox... ooh, the suspense. He has to protect his visitors, especially Hinata, awww, he is so giving and caring. Damn those villagers for being so damn evil toward him, when he had done so much for them! Grr, well, please, do continue soon.
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From on January 17, 2007
I appreciate this fic so much! I have always liked the Sasuke-gets-turned-into-a-cute-fluffy-animal-and-finds-out-more-about-Naruto fics, but I usually come away from them horribly disappointed because people twist Naruto's character. A lot of times, it turns out Naruto is a master chef, or Naruto being clumsy is all just an act, or a string of other things, that while cool personality characteristics, they're NOT what makes Naruto cool. What makes Naruto cool is that he has that never-say-die personality that would lead him to nurse a severely mauled kitten even when the veternarian had labeled it a lost cause, he has little signs hanging up in his kitchen, and so what if he's not a culinary genius--He'll still kick out the best stew that he can for the people he cares about! I thought that so far you've been very insightful and true to Naruto and Hinata as well for that matter, and I think that that makes for a better story. People shouldn't try to change who Naruto intrinsically is to try to make him cool because he already is!

...sorry. I think I may be ranting...

Anywho, with that out of my system, from a writerly perspective, the vet chapter could use some clean-up. For example, I think it would have a better flow if you started out with Naruto outside of the vet clinic, switched to Sasuke's POV, and then back to Naruto's. That's another thing that could be polished though. You start out with Naruto POV, but then suddenly it's Hinata POV. This isn't bad! It just needs a few more transitions, a few more details. I actually think that you could write the start of the Naruto/Hinata scene completely in Hinata's POV.

Then of course there's the mystery of what is wrong with Naruto XD
I think that this could prove to be interesting, but it's really confusing when it first comes up because it seems so random and disjointed, partially from the POV shifts, partially from a need for some more details. Also, the whole Hinata thought tangent of Naruto-is-being-abused really threw me for a loop so that I really had no idea what was going on.

And with all that said, to be quite honest, I'm more excited about finding out what happens next than seeing you fix what's already been written. If the above criticism is helpful, use it, if not, put it on a back burner, realize that I'm a drooling fan who's desperate for an update and has just had one too many writing classes....

...and UPDATE!! :3

Seriously, I'm super-excited with what you are doing here. Uber super excited. Like when I got to the stew part and it *popped*, I was all like OMFG! Somebody's writing a Sasuke-goes-cute-and-fluffy fic and they're not going all OOC on me!! *melted in happiness*
The drugged kitten part? *I'm on to you! And I'm on to you too!* I can't articulate how much that made me laugh. And the *how* of Sasuke getting turned into a kitten...sheer-artistic-genius. It's one of those things where I'm like, "I would have never thought of that," but now that I've read it, it makes so much stinking sense!

Oh, oh! I had another question! What's the setting? I got the impression that the third is still *alive* but Naruto and the rookie nine are all fifteen? Shall I just assume this is an alternate timeline?...because I can do that ^_^

Really, thank you for this, and I hope you keep on going strong!
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From Mija on January 17, 2007
Yay another chappie and this one was soo good too, loved the whole interaction between Hinata and the kids, poor Naruto though, at least THEY said it tasted good after trying it, team 7 never did, you would think at least Kakashi woulds say something..the meanies...and who are the others?? what friends?? and hiding up??? hes not gonna change is he? I know the need to hide out from the villagers but thats pretty much it right?? again others??? and will Sasuke be with him through this all?? oooh I cant wait, I would just LOVE, ok not love love persay but you get my point, I would love to see someone try to break in with not only the Hokages grandson but the Hyuuga hieress...ooh they would be in sooooo much trouble, at least I am hopeing they would, anyhow thanks for the read, hope to read more soon, huggles and smiles Mija...:-)
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From Mija on January 16, 2007
hmm so when did this happen?? when did you have to be logged on to review?? guess it cuts down on the flamers and all those lame people who just like to start crap, anyhow on to the review, you soo know Im loving this, so the village is ganging up on Naruto again, I sooo hope Hinata sees something or finds out so she can tell some people off cause you know Hinata, argue with her and you have the whole Hyuuga clan after your butts lol, and awwwwwwww sasuke is being fed by bottle how cute and embarassing for him, lol, I sooo cant wait to see what Sasuke see as he stays with Naruto, sees how the poor boy is tormented and hated, ooh wont Sasuke be pissed, and still wondering who the othr cat people were who changed Sasu...great work cant wait for more, huggles and smiles Mija...:-)
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From ANON - Damp on January 14, 2007
Sasuke's a cat o.0 well that's a change for once. I wonder why those other cats (were they shinobi disguised as cats? or super smart cats??)wanted to do with Sasuke? IT'S A MYSTERY!! So am i correct in saying that it's the Kyuubi festival that's happening right here??
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From ANON - silent pluto on January 10, 2007
hehehe, I like the way this story is going!
I was about to say poor sasuke, but damn it sometimes
folks need to be brought down a size, well in his case kitty sized!
Hinata is gonna going to faint from the excitement of being in
Naruto's prescence for too long I bet!! Hah and now they're heading up
to his apartment! DUM DUM DAAAAAAH! *snicker* update!
This is sooo getting good! ^_^
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From ANON - dragoncisco on January 09, 2007
I am liking this story. So many un answered questions I look forward to seeing where you take this story.
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From Godsx on January 08, 2007
Great story! Meow wishes you'll update soon!
Sasuke's so cute here!
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From ANON - EbOnY-LyCaN14 on January 08, 2007
Get interesting? They already are, so loving this story. Hinata must really be having her dream come true, pretty funny, how she is so smitten. Anyway, please do continue as soon as you can (very soon, I hope) you are doing a magnificient job. Sasuke kitty, I could just imagine, how cute. *Huggles for kitty Sasuke*
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From ANON - Nasis on January 08, 2007
Looking really good, can't wait for more!
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From ANON - Mija on January 05, 2007
ooh ya what is up with Naru's fever, are the villagers abusing him again cause of the Kyuubi festival?? I am asuming its the festival you are referring to if not I apologize, but either way the villagers never needed a real excuse to hurt him before and Naru never tells anyone, sooooooo are they?? and will Sasu kitty see this?? and will Hinata try harder to get to the bottom of this?? cause lets face it, you got the Hyuuga heiress here and if she finds out you can bet she can cause some trouble, she is after all from a very strong and powerful clan and it would be cool to see others backing Naruto up instead of only Tsunade, Jiraiya, Iruka and Kakashi and on occasion Sasuke, I want all the rookie nine plus team Gai to get outraged if they find out Naruto is being abused, even if they know that he is the vessal for Kyuubi I soo think they would not care, they would only see Naru...ok ok babbled long enough, look foward to another chappie, ty again, huggles and smiles Mija...:-)
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From ANON - Mija on January 05, 2007
omg you soooooooo have to write more, I love this, Ive seen other fics where Sasu is changed into some form of animal and Naruto has to take care of it, but this is just diffrent somehow, who were those other cats?? why did they change him?? who is thier master?..will they be back?? will Naruto take the kitty to Tsunade?? or would that just ruin everything seeing as Tsunade would tell no doubt that it was no ordinary kitty, but knowing Tsunade she would heal said Uchiha kitty but not say anything to Naruto or Sasuke or maybe Sasuke but leave him in that form to let him see another side of Naruto...it seems like something she would do, to have the Uchiha take a good look into the blonds life and understand him more...ok I know I babbled but this was good and I sooo want to read more soon, huggles and smiles Mija...:-) thanks for the wonderful read
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From ladygizarme on January 04, 2007
hmm so someone wanted to turn sasuke into a cat.. presumably someone with a gang of humans-turned-cats? i wonder who.. someone we know or..?? well anyway, naruto's double rescue, first from the street and then from euthenasia was very sweet, especially his rant about sasukitty wanting to live and no one having the right to take that away :) i look forward to reading where this goes and i hope sasuke begins to recover! (and what's with naru's "sickness")
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From ANON - CommGonn on January 04, 2007
very nice and original idea
Great job, update soon ^_^
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